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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

My toddler doesn’t know how to ‘push’

16 replies

Summ3ers · 30/12/2018 16:29

My 2.10 year old has been on Movicol since he turned one and got very constipated. Unless we keep his poo unnaturally loose, he withholds. However, he clenches and strains at the same time. It’s as if his little body doesn’t know how to ‘push.’
Many trips to his Dr and consultant but still no luck apart from increasing meds and now adding Senna. No way near ready for potty training but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this? Blowing bubbles hasn’t helped and I’m worried sick about all the meds he’s on. If it’s a sensory issue how do I support him. HV was of no help either. Thank you.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

villageshop · 30/12/2018 16:51

Does he sit on a potty or the loo? The body's elimination works best in a very crouched hunkered down position with bum as close to the ground as you can get it, legs wide apart like you sometimes see native tribe people sitting almost on the ground.

Modern toilets where we sit with our legs at 90 degrees makes it very hard for the intestines to do their job and the rectum to empty.

Add some linseeds to his porridge and up his water intake and encourage him to poo crouched down, maybe with something on the floor to keep his attention in that position. Hope this helps.

villageshop · 30/12/2018 16:53

Sorry, just re-read about potty training. Still worth trying.

minipie · 30/12/2018 17:05

I believe there are specialist continence nurses, perhaps ask if you can see one? I would imagine it’s connected to the long term movicol as his bowel hasn’t really had the practice at pushing like you say. Hopefully they will have come across this issue before.

Original poster

Summ3ers · 30/12/2018 17:31

Thank you so much for your replies. He won’t go near a potty at the moment and I agree, that position would be best for him.

He has chia seed and flax seed in his porridge plus prune juice in the morning. I think they all really help. I spoke to the HV and she said she would try and contact a continence nurse but based on past experiences, he wouldn’t get a referral.

The Drs have no answers and I don’t know where else to turn. Spoke to ERIC charity for advice too. I think his body doesn’t know how to push and that’s it’s a sensory issue for him. I’d go private if I knew where to go.

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villageshop · 30/12/2018 18:15

Is there any likelihood of Ehlers Danlos in your family? It affects connective tissue which is very stretchy so intestines can just fill up. Probably not that just a thought worth mentioning, i hope I haven't alarmed you.

Can you reduce the movicol a bit so there is more bulk to his motions so the nerves get the message? Sorry it's such a difficult time but many children do take a while to get back to normal after serious constipation.

Original poster

Summ3ers · 30/12/2018 18:39

I’ve never heard of Ehlers Danlos so just had a google. Not aware of any such issues. He did have very bad reflux as a baby and ended up on Omeprazole for a year so whether that’s caused any issues.

We have tried reducing the Movicol many times by a tiny amount at a time. As soon as there is any form he withholds and we usually end up having to use a suppository after so many days. The Dr has shown us how to do that. I’ve just sat in a flood of tears tonight as he’s been withholding all evening and after a year and a halftime this, we’re all exhausted. Mumsnet is keeping me going so thank you all so much.

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Mishappening · 30/12/2018 18:45

It is so hard when a child has a medical problem that you cannot deal with - you just feel so frustrated and impotent. It is very stressful.

I am sure that the combined efforts of all the medics etc. have given you all the right advice. It is really a matter of the stool being of sufficient bulk to trigger off the nerve endings. Sorry to be trite, but All-Bran is actually very good.

It is likely that he will simply grow out of it. In the meantime - and I know this is bloody hard - you need to stay cool and clam and make it is small an issue in his life as you possibly can. Not easy for sure; but will help stop it becoming an issue for him as he grows older. I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

Mishappening · 30/12/2018 18:46

calm!

minipie · 30/12/2018 19:30

How’s his talking - I wonder if you could have any sort of chat with him about the withholding, explain Mummy and Daddy poo, let him watch you poo (!), Poo goes to Pooland book? Some kids withhold in nappies but not on the potty as they don’t like the feeling in the nappy, so try without the nappy? Apologies if you have tried all this and more already. It sounds as though because of the withholding, you don’t actually know if there is a pushing problem or not as he never really gets to the point of having/wanting to push...? is that accurate?

HettieBettie · 30/12/2018 19:39

One trick to get children to push is blowing bubbles on the toilet or imagining blowing up a ballooning. Or just saying booooooo!

Got this from the HV at school and it does work!

Has he decorated his potty with stickers etc? That’s usually gets kids onto one? (Sometimes they actually start sitting on it whilst still sticking! 👍)

Original poster

Summ3ers · 30/12/2018 19:43

He has a speech delay unfortunately which adds to his issues. His understanding is fairly good however. I could try without the nappy, see if that helps.

Yes, we’ve just assumed there’s a pushing problem. When he’s unnaturally loose then he doesn’t have to use much effort. Anything else and he appears to push and clench at the same time. Legs go rigid and a very squashed slither comes out. We were advised not to put him on the potty when he withholds as he’ll associate the anxiety with using the potty. If we could get him to squat then he’d find it much harder to withhold though. He’s ended up in hospital a few times since birth with this issue but as poo has to be kept so unnaturally loose, my worry is that his body just doesn’t know what to do when it’s not (hence what appears to be pushing and clenching at the same time).

OP posts:

Original poster

Summ3ers · 30/12/2018 19:45

Like the idea of pretending to blow or say boo!! Lol
Not thought of decorating the potty. He has no interest in it but stickers might help

OP posts:

HettieBettie · 30/12/2018 19:51

Hi OP not being nosy but is he having SALT?

Original poster

Summ3ers · 30/12/2018 19:59

I self referred him last year and after a year of waiting and referrals, he’s just started a program this month. However, we are actually starting private speech therapy beginning of January as the support he was provided was within a group and not 1:1 which I think he needs.

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HettieBettie · 30/12/2018 20:57

Ok sorry Just asking as I’m a Senco and sometimes mentioning other probs to people already in the NHS system gets you sort of ‘bumped up’ or at lest they know he right person / dept to talk to so might be worth mentioning the toileting issues to them (it might not help at alllll!)

Good luck and don’t stress - There will be a way to help your LO xx

Mothalina · 21/07/2024 21:03

@Summ3ers Hello! Coming to this thread several years down the line and wondered how it was resolved for your son? Having exact same issue with my DD right now. Would greatly appreciate some light at the end of the tunnel!

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