Underpants ruin everything!!!

[whoami24601]

Potty training DS (3.3) and I just can't work out the issues and how to fix them!

We started at Easter with a whole week of pants off time. He picked it up quickly and by the end of the week was 100% reliable at wees / poos on the potty. He is able to hold his wee for several minutes once he's decided he needs one. Sometimes he'll go get the potty and take it to a different room etc before using it.

Great... I thought! Next step pants. And this is where it all goes wrong! For some reason he just treats pants like a nappy and I don't know why! I gave up then, but we've started again in these holidays (he starts nursery in September so we need to crack this!) and it's the same thing. We're two weeks in and still having multiple accidents a day once he's dressed.

Has anyone experienced similar and can offer advice? I don't know where to go from here, except persevere of course!

Yeah, my DD was much better with pants off (it's only been a week) but I persevered with getting them on her after a couple of days because, well, she's got to wear them hasn't she? Can you keep him at home for a few days with undies on but no shorts or trousers etc and see if he gets it then?

Just underpants at home is the same thing! We've been doing it for two weeks now and no better! I just don't understand how he knows he needs to go when he's naked, but not when he's dressed!

I think there’s something about the closeness of pants that mimics the feeling of a nappy. I haven’t started potty training DS yet, but reading the Oh Crap potty training book in preparation talks about them not wearing underwear for the first few weeks of it. You could maybe put him in loose fitting shorts/trousers with no pants, to see if that makes any difference?

I agree with Gailthefish, try the 'going commando' approach.

Let him go commando

The oh crap book does suggest going commando for a while, but have you considered that the pants are tight enough to mimic a nappy? Perhaps after the commando approach he could wear loose fitting ones or boxers?

Ah commando is a good idea! We haven't had any accidents today, but that has mostly been me making him sit on the potty frequently. He did ask to go once though so that's some progress! Unfortunately he's so skinny that his underpants have to be tight or they'd just fall down 🙄

We are having the same problem with my dd, same age too. I could have written this and she also starts nursery in sept. I just can’t figure out what to do. I guess just keep going until they crack it buts it’s a lot of washing!

Did you do the whole ' oh how exciting, special big boy pants, let's go buy the ones with characters you love' shebang?

That's what we did with DD, made the most enormous fuss of how big and special and wonderful they were and what a shame it would be if they were ruined with wee because they are sooooooo amazingly fabulous.

She wee'd about 3 million times a day for a few days but she was very pleased with her new pants.

Character pants worked here. We had a big conversation before putting on his hey duggee pants about keeping roly dry

We did about a week naked from waist down (in house) and then about 2 weeks loose trousers/jogging bottoms but no pants, before progressing to trousers and pants. This worked well. I think that initially, wearing pants feels too much like a nappy and they forget that it's not a nappy.

Make a big deal about how much of a big boy he will be. My DD is 2.5 and potty trained around 6 week, she was pant free the first week and then when I introduced knickers we went shopping and she picked out some paw patrol ones made a big song and dance about what a big girl she was etc. She wore just knickers for another week to get use to pulling them up and down and now she is dry during the day.

Tonight is the first night without a nappy, hope she's dry in the morning lol.

Silly question but when they are just in pants or naked for a week, do you just not leave the house? How does that work?

@spectac We followed the Oh Crap method to the letter so we had 2 full days naked in the house (longest 48 hours of my life!) then jogging bottoms/shorts on, no pants, for very short trips out over the next 2 days. Then we increased the time we were out for. We're 10 days in and are able to go out all day (accompanied by the potty of course). Still going commando though, haven't introduced pants yet.

I had the same issue with DS1. I think as soon as he saw them he thought they were a nappy, plus they were a snug fit - all a bit nappy-esque in his mind. He didn’t want them on and as soon as he did, cue accidents. Then we bought pants that were an age or so up for him, so they didn’t feel tight and were easy to pull down. We also put them on stealth like - popped them in his trousers and slipped both on together so he thought he was just going commando as before. Worked a treat!

Thanks @MelonB, I will have to have a look at the Oh Crap method, I'm dreading starting training and need all the advice I can get!