Help with 3 year old DD please!

[Macarena1990]

DD was 3 in February. We attempted potty training just after christmas but she really wasn't getting it i.e. only doing a wee after sitting on the potty for ages. She started to get distressed so we gave up.

Since then she has point blank refused to sit on the potty. She has however sat on the toilet a couple of times since we bought her a training seat. She hasn't actually managed to do anything on there though and I'm worried about making her anxious if I leave her on there for ages... what next??? Thanks!

I'm in a similar position. My dd is 3.5 and still not toilet trained. She also wouldn't sit on the potty, we had a couple of weeks where she was successfully using the toilet a few months ago but we've hit a real stumbling block and she is completely refusing to go. I'm just trying to persevere and keep telling myself it will happen one day.

Have you tried giving her a book to look at while she's sitting on the toilet? Or a toy to play with? Anything to keep her sitting there a bit longer and hopefully distract her a bit so she doesn't start to get anxious. Try and remain light and breezy when she doesn't go so it doesn't become too big a deal in her head. Also we have got a lot of toddler books about using the potty/toilet from the library, me and dd read them together and she does take an interest so I'm hoping it will all start to get her moving in the right direction.

Good luck!

Have you tried just popping her in knickers? I know she will wet herself but sometimes it's the dislike of this feeling that spurs them on to trying the potty. Also, bribe with Whatever they like the most - they soon forget the bribe when it becomes second nature.
One of my 3 dcs responded well to one of those awful singing potties that sing when you wee- I hated it but it got him going!

Have you tried a few days in the house with no bottoms on? Every time she starts to see, move her to the toilet/potty saying hold it so she can link the feeling of needing to wee with actually doing it. Otherwise you're relying on pot luck as to whether she goes when she's on the toilet.

The Oh Crap book is a good read. She is older than the author recommends but I still think there are a lot of valuable points and strategies in it.

Thanks for all the advice.. we have made a breakthrough!

DD (12) sat her on the loo this afternoon and success! Made a massive deal about it involving stickers and a sweet. Then when we were all playing a game 10 minutes later, she announced that she needed another wee and ran up the stairs and did another. Adamant that she doesn't want to wear knickers though, so will leave her in pull ups and ask agajn in a few days. Hopefully we are on the right track now!!

My kids were thrilled to help flush the loo and wave “bye bye” to the poo or pee as it disappeared! This was their favourite game while toilet training. Neither of them liked the potty, and they much preferred sitting on a child seat on the loo. I think they maybe felt this was more grown up, and they wanted to be
“big girls”. I gave lots of praise when they first managed, and they were v proud of themselves, which I think helped. But I started at 2 years old, before nappies became too much of a convenient habit.