Feeling the pressure

[mistermagpie]

DS will be 2.5 in a couple of weeks. I have a group of friends who all had babies the same month he was born or the month after and we are the only ones who are not 'potty training' yet. It's starting to make me feel a bit twitchy as they talk about it all the time and spend a lot of time congratulating each other (and the children) about it.

My DS isn't ready. He just isn't. Emotionally he has no desire to be rid of nappies and physically he doesn't know when he needs a wee. He can tell me when he's done/doing a poo but not that he needs one. We have a potty and one of those mini toilet seats in the bathroom, he knows what they are and what they are for but says no every time he is offered an opportunity to use them.

But my friends are making me feel like maybe I should be doing something other than waiting for him to be ready. I also feel like maybe I'm holding him back somehow by not pushing him? I don't know...

Any advice?

Yes - wait until he is ready. I've just potty trained DS at 3.5 and it's been so easy because I waited. The worst thing for me would've been to be one of those mums who spends any day out in the toilet or nagging at their DC about needing the toilet like I saw so many other mums of DC the same age do. They're only young once!

That sounds early for a boy to me. In our NCT group the girls were more or less totally potty trained between 2.3 and 2.8 but none of the boys were before 3.2 at the earliest. We are now at 3.6 and a couple still aren’t reliably potty trained. I wouldn’t sweat it at the moment.

My girl was 3, but it happened in just over a week. When she was ready, she did it. Dry at night a month later. 2.5 is very early for a boy. Just in case you are worried, early potty training is not a sign of intelligence. DD is now a barrister.

If it's really bothering you, why not do a little bit?
When you need a wee, take him and put him in the potty. Then you are both sat down and he may go. He is then in the routine and habit. He may start asking to go.
If he is t ready, it's good habits to start, and then when he is ready it becomes easier.

For what it's worth, my ds was two and started saying no nappy, no no. And taking me by the hand to go to the toilet.
He had been coming to the loo with me for he six months prior, as we lived in an unsafe bomb site at the time. And when I had a wee or poo, I talked him through it. I really think it helped him see it as normal and helped him develop.

I do feel a bit reassured by your comments, thanks!

I couldn't physically sit him on the potty to be honest, well I could, but he'd just get off again! He's not the kind of child who will really comply if he doesn't want to, getting him into the car seat etc is a battle. When I've asked him he will sit on it for two seconds and then get up.

He is fascinated by toilet habits though, as weird little boys are. He has a nine-month old brother and is obsessed by his poos! He also likes to watch me and daddy use the 'big toilet'. I ask if he fancies trying it but he just says 'nope'. He has very good speech for his age, so I'm confident he can understand what I'm telling him but he just isn't interested.

As ever, my advice is read the Oh Crap potty training book & see what you think. Her ideas and rationale really made sense to me.

My DS wasn't interested at all until he was 3 but when he was ready he did it 3 weeks. He had a friend at nursery who's mum persevered from 2.5 for nearly a year. He just wasn't ready. Poor boy had multiple accidents everyday and was so stressed out by it all.
Wait until he's ready and don't feel under pressure from anyone!