Should I give up? Please help!

[cooperbug]

DS will be 3 in December and I just started to toilet train him on Tuesday following a trip to the health visitor who said if I didn't get started I would miss the opportunity. I might add here that I have a 10 week old baby who has been keeping me busy!

She said to bypass the potty because of his age and simply make a big deal of the fact he's a big boy now and time to wear big boy pants as nappies are for babies.

Anyway on Tuesday we got on fairly well and he only had a couple of accidents. I tried him on the toilet approx every hour and when he weed he got a sticker on his chart or a chocolate star which he responded well to. On Wednesday he was at nursery and again they said he did well, just two accidents with four successful toilet trips.

Yesterday he was at my mother in laws house who said that he was reluctant to go and sit on the toilet a lot and he only managed to go twice with three accidents.

However the main issue has been today. He clearly needed a poo this morning having not had one since Tuesday morning (he usually goes daily). I encouraged him to come to the toilet try which he would not do. He screamed and ran around the house hysterically and when I picked him up to put him on the toilet he made himself rigid. This resulted in him having a massive wee on the hallway floor. He was still uncomfortable after this so I put a pull up happy on for him which he passed a very large and solid bowel movement into. After this i put pants straight back on him but he's had four accidents today and will not go to the toilet now without a massive fuss kicking and screaming.

Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what to do as he was doing so well and I'm feeling so stressed about it which clearly he is now too!

Personally I’d go back to nappies for now and retry when you can stay with him for at least 3 days (more if you can).

I like the Oh Crap method. He’s a bit older than she recommends but it might be worth a read? One thing she recommends is not using underwear at first because it can give them the secure feeling of a nappy so you could stop putting pants on.

Then think about how you’re actually teaching him what to do- how is he linking the feeling of needing to wee with actually weeing? Putting him on the toilet too frequently isn’t great because they also need to build up the muscles in the bladder to hold more wee. Try to look out for the sign he’s about to wee and move him to the potty/toilet so he can link the feeling.

It’s not easy with a 10 week old. My DD states refusing nappies when my DS was 6 weeks so I’ve been there!!

Thanks for your reply. So I kept at it and he’s done fantastic the last two days.

It may sound like a step back but I’ve taken the emphasis away from the toilet and been putting him on the potty instead. He has managed to do a wee every time and even a poo on there this morning.

He’s not really at the stage of asking to go himself yet (has just done that the once when we were out on Saturday) but I am so proud of him.

Sounds like you’ve both done really well!

I don’t think the potty is a step back. I’d keep going with it for the next few weeks and then start offering the toilet or the potty. My DD just gradually phased the potty out.

Personally I think that communicating that they need to wee comes in time. That’s the way Oh Crap looks at it anyway (my only reference in all of this! 😂)

Hope the next few days go well.

I’ll have to get that book. Sounds interesting!

Yeah I’ve said to my husband can I have a reward present too 😂