Dd scared to poo after constipation

[Iusedtobeawerewolf]

Dd will be 4 in December. She has been day time potty trained since she was 2 and we have never had any problems and very few accidents. She has just started to be dry at night times.

She has always been funny about pooing and will only do it at home or if I am with her. She would hold it in all day at nursery and do it when she got home. Same at her dad's she will not poo at his house and will hold it in until she gets home to me.

She had her first ever poo accident a few months ago at nursery and they told me she had been really quiet all day and not moved from the quiet corner and refused to play with anyone. I knew as soon as I walked in that she had pooed or she needed a poo.

About 2 weeks ago she hadn't had a poo for about 5 days which is unusual for her as she usually goes every day. When she eventually went she was in agony, screaming in pain etc. It was awful and she was on the toilet for 2 hours and I had to try and pull it out of her bum.

The next day the same thing happened and the poor thing was shaking and in such a state over it.

I gave her more water and more fruit during the day to try and help her.

The following day she didn't wake me up in the morning which is odd as she is an early riser and always comes in to me to wake me up. I went into her and she was really quiet in her bed and said she didn't want to get out. I could smell poo as soon as I walked in so asked if she had had an accident and she started crying.

She had pooed herself and instead of coming to tell me she just sat in it for God knows how long. I felt awful.

She has only had the one poo accident before but when she had wee accidents I never told her off or anything like that so I don't understand why she was scared to come and tell me.

So fast forward a few days and she hasn't been to the toilet again and I know when she needs a poo as she goes really quiet but she has been avoiding going and lying about needing one.

Tonight she has woke up crying. I went into see her and she has pooed again. I cleaned her up and gave her a hug etc and tried to tell her she needs to tell me if she needs a poo and she needs to go as soon as she needs one.

Does anyone have any advice on how to stop this from becoming a regular thing?

Hi OP - not really the same situation but my DS was potty/toilet trained in July he was 3.4yro. It took a while to get him to poo on potty (once he had done it on potty- toilet wasn't a problem) but he used to just do it in his pants. He wouldn't say he needed one, despite me asking at least 20 times a day cos i knew his routine when in nappies. He would hold it in all day at nursery and as soon as we got home he'd do it in his pants. By the time I'd cut him out of and disposed of the 50th pair of undies I just told him it wasn't nice to be pooing in his pants and he could definitely be a big boy and go to potty / toilet. And to my complete surprise this worked !! He now just goes to toilet by himself.
Your DD obviously sounds like she was a bit embarrassed by what happened at nursery? Has she only just started doing this ? Has she used potty /toilet previously? During the night van you bot revert back to a pull up for a while?