Help! 3.5 year old won't poo on toilet!

[Louisa111]

We have tried everything... she's great now with her wees.. has been great since she turned 3 skipped the potty and went straight and used the toilet but having a headache when it comes to poos. She won't poo on the toilet just in her pants or nighttime pull-ups.

We've tried ignoring the situation, we've tried bribing her with a gift if she does it and we've also acted upset and nothing works. She knows where it should be as after she has done it she says " whoops it should be on the toilet" almost slightly mocking me the way she says it.
Do I just hope she cracks it herself or is there anything else I can try?? Xx

This is very very common right into the first school years. Eric has a page on it www.eric.org.uk/pdf-children-who-will-only-poo-in-a-nappy

Ds was the same. We read him a book called 'Liam Goes Poo on the Toilet.'. It worked a treat. The next day he asked to poo on the toilet like Liam. However, he chickened out half way through the job. I had to cuddle him on the loo while he pooed! He finally did it and we phoned Daddy at work to tell him. From then on he was fine. I think it was just a bit of fear of the unknown.

Thankyou will definitely try a few tips from Eric and also I'll have to get the book... I'm glad to hear it's common x

Hi OP,
Just wanted to share my recent experience. My son started potty training aged 3.2. Was not ready before but one day said "no more nappies" so off we went.
However it became clear very quickly he would not go for a poo. He would not even tell us it was coming. He did in his pants and carried on playing. He screamed as soon as we said we needed to change him. Horrible.
For some time we tried to incite him. At least try make him sit on the toilet. NO! He would not even sit on the potty. We read books on poo but no.
After 3 months I called the health visitors because he was holding it in and started to suffer from constipation. They advised a jar to fill with pompoms. Rules were strict. Jar was only for him telling us he needed to poo or for using the potty (for wee too). Once a pompom was in we could not take it away (so it's not a bargain or threat).
HV warned me it may not work but said to do that consistently for a month.
Result: still no poo in potty but he had stopped holding it in and everything was much more relaxed around potty issues. That was a step forward for me.

Now aged 3.10 my son poos on the potty. What happened? He's just gone through a huge growth spurt (talks and thinks more like a child, he's in the process of dropping the nap, has marathon nights) and I believe that this is what has done it. He still poos in his night nappy first thing in the morning if he can but if poo comes at a different time he now tells us and goes on potty.

My view is that just like some children walk in 3 days and others take 3 months, some children do potty training all in one go and others spread out the process over months.

No one really wants to talk about it (because it's gross and a nightmare).
My top tip in the meantime, buy degradable sacks (like they use in hospital) so you can put all dirty clothes in the sack directly in the washing machine. It simplified the washing process and kept my stress levels down.