Nursery insisting on pull ups

[Boringscottishmum]

So first time posting, so sorry if not concise!

Wee one has been toilet trained since just after two- her insistence wanted to use toilet like mummy and took to it ok

A few wee problems since then as she has some kidney problems but is generally ok with more dry days than wet

Started school nursery a few weeks ago when turned three and has been a nightmare. Wet at nursery and won't tell them she needs toilet. Still largely dry at home though. So I am sure is a regression rather than not being toilet trained

However school nursery are. Ow insisting she isn't ready and they don't have the staff to keep changing her- or to simply take her to the toilet every hour or so (she's there for less than three hours and I take her when dropped off and picked up).
Iniyiallybthey asked for some strange toddler pant liner things for "health and safety" as carpet getting wet- wasn't happy but complied.

now insisting that they feel she needs pull ups. And give it a few weeks over Easter holidays again to "try again"

Hubby and I are t really happy. Pull ups are a huge backwards step, and she doesn't like them as they are "for babies and night time for big girls". And TBH I've been here already and whilst the school may be off for Easter I am most certainly not and don't want to regress hugely

No idea what to do- don't like being a bolshy parent (which is unlike me in adult work life)- but feel this is wrong way to go completely for wee one

Any advice?

I think that is poor. I have heard of nurseries insisting on pull ups for training, but it sounds like your DD has been trained for a long time. It sounds to me like it is a stress reaction to starting nursery? I would start by insisting they take her to the toilet every hour - thats only twice if you do it on drop off and pick up, hardly an unreasonable request. If they refuse I would be looking for another arrangement.

What about trying cloth training pants? They look and feel more like normal pants and are washable. They have a built in liner to catch anything but she will feel wet so will have to put a clean pair on if she does not get to the loo. The nursery can't object, I would not have thought though. No issues about their carpet/seats etc and they'd have to change a dirty nappy anyway.

But I agree, this is a stress issue - pull ups do not solve this. She probably won't need to go every hour. What about when she arrives, mid morning, lunch and mid afternoon for reminders and again if she looks uncomfortable.

Keep her home from nursery till she's properly dry. Or send her in pull ups.

My DC regressed at school nursery - I couldn't blame her, they were disgusting by morning breaktime. I wouldn't have wanted to use them either. School worked with me to remind her to go frequently, and gave her a sticker at the end of the day if she had drunk water and been to the toilet.

Llangennith before having kids that would have been my reaction. However whilst I have no issue with keeping her off nursery- don't need for childcare- she seems to enjoy it and is an only child so am keen she doesn't miss out on social side
Given her renal problems she may not be "properly dry" (if you mean dry all day every day for weeks on end) for a good long while. But she is largely dry with us at home with only occasional (maybe 1/2 a week) accidents.
I am certain this is regression due to new environment of nursery (have a HC background so am more than certain). It's more how to deal with the nursery that I am not sure of.

Hobbits not even a whole day. It's an afternoon 3 hour session. So that's what I'm struggling to understand why they can't just agree to take her. They say they ask her and she says no and then two minutes later she is wet.

I wouldn't be happy. If she is basically dry at home then she is capable at nursery with the right support.

Are there other local nurseries with places? I would be tempted to look elsewhere

Try just one week at home to get her dry and try to find out (from her) what the problem is at nursery.

They really should be working with you, taking her to the toilet,star chart,rewards until she settles in.
I have worked with toilet refusers or those that say no because they're busy playing and I'm afraid I don't really give them a choice about it! They are only 3 and need an adult to guide them - we are not just there to teach them numbers etc but also this fundamental developmental step.

They need to help her to establish her routine there, ffs! Lots of chances to wee without feeling scheduled, make sure the loos aren;t so minging she can't perform and give her a discreet method to communicate that she needs to go outwith scheduled times.

The latter may be the pertinent issue, here, if she is otherwise mature.

And they need to find a wy to tactfully tell her to go, rather than sk and have her refuse!

Thanks. That was my feeling as well. Will speak with them tommorow and see from there