Help, what am I doing wrong?

[nicemarmot]

DS is 3.6 and is still yet to ever manage a pee on a potty or toilet. During the summer we tried 2 days of toilet training without success. More recently I've been trying a more slow approach- trying a bit of pant & toilet time every day. He had been happy to wear pants (had chosen some Thomas pants) & become happy to use trainer seat on the toilet (sometimes with the help of a story or ipad). Have been using mini cheddars as a reward for going on the toilet (sweets aren't of much interest). Yesterday I took him to the toilet and then he did a wee on the carpet 5 minutes later but showed no sign that he needed to go- I don't think he ever recognises that he needs to go. Tried longer stints of pant time on Saturday & Sunday but after a couple of accidents he got a bit upset & asked for a nappy. At nursery this morning he took himself to the loo & took off his nappy (has done this before telling staff he's done a wee but don't believe he has)- staff offered him the option of pants which he took up but then got upset after having an accident and insisted on having a nappy back on.

Sorry for the long post but am I missing something? Getting nervous now that school is less than a year off. Not sure if I should back off for a bit?

Hello,

If I were you I would throw the nappies away - pull up and training pants and nappies are just confusing for them (and at night too). If you keep putting nappies back on then he will not know when to go for a wee and when to hold it in. It is what delayed my 3 year old (trained at 3.3) for so long. I would give up the rewards too-I think it adds pressure and i also think the act of going and feeling proud of themselves is enough. My daughter was over the moon the first time she went for a wee on the potty. She had many accidents after but now she goes to the loo all by herself and says she is a 'big girl'. I think the fact they are doing somehting on their own is reward enough.

Try getting rid of the nappies (do it a a ritual with him, perhaps?). He will get it soon.

Hi , what I have observed is that if you keep telling the child again and again that he/she has to go and pee in the potty they gradually understand .I told my daughter for 5 continuous days that she has to use the toilet and not pee in the pants .First three days she just looked at me while I explained to her that she has wet her pants and should pee in the potty instead .Fifth day she started indicating that she has to pee.We do have accidents but I continue the process of telling her ...and once you have started the training dont go back ....be patient and calm .IT will be successful ..all the best !!!

Hi hun.

I agree with the above. I was given some advice from a friend very similar. My little one is 2.6 (a little younger than your babe) she loves her potty but as she won't use a toilet I have to put a nappy on her most of the time. We tried knickers but she would usually wet/soil through. I was told to stop using nappies all together and just try and get her used to knickers and the way they are used. I at this point can't do that due to our daily schedule but she doesn't wear a nappy at home now so is happy to use the potty and getting used to knickers. It's usually easier said then done though. Keep trying, the fact that you're asking for advice shows that you're doing the right thing :)