so after a long time of attempts and giving up, DS who's 3 and a half has done it all by himself (poos and wees)
Nursery, my family all kept saying 'he really should be trained now' and I kept saying he'll do it when he's ready, they all gave me rolled eyes and when I finally took the pressure off me and him, he's trained himself in 2 days.
He really wasn't ready everytime I tried and was trying to force him, I was upsetting him and me.
So my advice to anyone training, they will do it when they're good and ready not sooner! It's not a race and every child is different!