Waits for nappy to wee/poo

[tinypumpkin]

My DD2 is 3.5 and we are having such a nightmare with potty training. I am now trying the gently approach after a boot camp approach in the summer led to a refusal to even sit on the potty in the end. I am grateful she will at least try and sit on it now as that has taken months!

Anyway, she is getting better at wearing pants and trying (sitting on potty but not really trying!) We have used the usual rewards and positive encourage, praise etc. What she will do is to hold her wee / poo in until we eventually put a nappy on her. This can be at bed or if she has to go to nursery (not reliable enough for pants). She will agree that she is holding it in and it is driving me batty. I cannot make her wee/poo in the toilet or potty. We have books etc and stickers and choc for weeing/pooing in the right place etc.

Has anyone else had this and do you have any gems of wisdom to help us get over this? I really am at my wits end and can't believe we are still struggling with this.

Bump?

Could you try putting the nappy on her very loosely (ie not doing up the tabs properly) and getting her to sit on the potty with it on? Then take it off and leave it on the potty with its contents on proud display? Then go nuts and shower her with jelly bean/choc buttons?

My DD was like that. Would seat on the potty and wee/poo in her nappy. I found the more I insisted that she put down her pull-ups, the more she'd dig in her heels. I realised she found it traumatic and backed off for a bit.

In the meantime, we'd talk about it, I told her how great it would be not to have a wet/yukky nappy on, pointed out that so and so wore big boy/girl pants, and bought her a shockink pink trainer seat. It was a slow process but it worked. As soon as we had one full dry day, I sent her to CM without a nappy, and no accidents.

I'd say she'll do it when she's ready, and that maybe later than other kids her age, which is fine. I think your gently-gently approach is what she needs. It can be frustrating, I know, but DD was genuinely scared to 'let go' without a nappy, and it took a lot of gentle persuasion.

Also, cannot recommend bribes enough (sticker, choccy button every time she does a wee). Perhaps offer her one if she can sit on the potty and do a wee in her nappy, then tell her you'll give her 2 if she goes without. Good luck!

Thanks mistressploppy (very appropriate here!). I will try your idea, it is definitely worth a shot :)

Stickygotstuck, thank you for convincing me that DD will actually train. It feels not at the moment and I am getting slightly more stressed about it. I agree that is unhelpful though! I will keep up the talking and pointing out friends who wear big boy /girl pants. I do this already so will make even more of an effort to do that.

I think you could be onto something with the scared approach. I will also big up the rewards even more. Maybe we can make a reward chart together (agh!)

Thank you, I appreciate it :)

tinypumpkin, glad you are feeling more positive.
In DD's case it was most definitely fear. She trained just before 3yo (no nappy on, sat on potty) BUT we had to carry a trainer seat everywhere! Ended up buying a folding one and carried it around for a whole year. A bit of a pain, but you could see the terror in her eyes at the size of the hole ina normal toilet. I am not patient by nature, but having the folding seat made both our lives so much less stressful! She just andoned the bloody thing when she turned 4 (ie when she got tall enough to reach the toilet from the floor - she would go stiff and scream if I ever tried to pick her and put her on the toilet). She needed to be in control.

Is your DD quite cautious by nature? Mine is and the whole finding herself bare-bottomed after 2.5 years of nappies was too new, too much, too fast .

Stop putting nappies on her at all. If she has an accident at nursery she has an accident. Get some plastic sheets for her bed, you may well find she is actually dry.

Two other words: Chocolate buttons.