5yr old still withholding and refusing to use loo

[rubyblue]

Ds is now 5 and since he was 3 and had a painful poo, he has refused to use the loo for poos and withholds (sometimes for days) until he has a night nappy on and does it semi asleep. We have phoned advice lines, read books, been to GP who just prescribed laxatives.
We got firm with him and tried waking him and making him put the poo down the loo, wiping etc but he then just became really constipated.
I feel stressed and sad at this, we are fed up dealing with nappies and he knows it is not the same for other children as his younger sibling is happy to sit on loo.
We have almost given up any efforts, I guess just hoping he will get over it in time.

Any advice from anyone put there who has been through this?

You have my sympathy. 3 of my dc had a virus 2 years ago which left them all severely constipated. It was the most horrendous time ever! Dc3 was the worst affected, didn't poo for 16 days, despite having double the adult dose of senokot and lactulose, prescribed by GP!! He was severely ill by the time the GP prescribed suppositries. But thank God for those suppositries! I guess we were lucky in one respect, as eventually after weeks/months all dc got better.
What I didn't realise though until the GP explained, is that if the bowel becomes impacted for too long it stays in the stretched position and cannot then function properly, and sometimes will never function properly again.
My advice would be to keep up with the laxatives, go back to your GP and explain the situation again. Then stand firm, ask to be referred to a specialist clinic who will work with your ds to rectify the psychological part of the problem.

Hi Ruby
If you were to put a nappy on your DS in the day would he poo in it?

DD is almost 5 and would only poo in a nappy until about 8 months ago, she was scared that pooing on the loo would hurt. We tried everything, sat her on the loo reading her stories, singing songs pretending to blow bubbles (apparently the bubble blowing thing helps them to push down for a poo), but nothing worked, she would get upset me and DH would get upset and it was so stressful.

I called the HV for advice and she said not to worry as it's really common and that putting a nappy on DD was fine. So what we did was this, DD would tell us she needed a poo, we would put a nappy on but would tell her that she had to go to the bathroom and do it in private, this was a bit of a battle but after a few weeks she did it without fuss.

Once she felt at ease with going into the bathroom we then told her that she could have a nappy but she had to sit on the loo to poo, again it was a battle and we had a few tears and tantrums but she got it in the end.

When I was confident that she was comfortable with sitting on the loo I played a little trick on her, she said she needed a poo one night before bed so I put a nappy on but what she didn't know was that I'd cut a hole in the nappy so when she poo'd it went down the loo.

She was amazed and she was a bit cross with me for playing a trick on her but it paid off and we've never looked back.

I know how upsetting and frustrating it is, but try not to worry, It's only since speaking to other mums that i've realised just how common it is.

Good luck:)