3.5 year old DS refuses to be potty trained

[connyrabbit]

We have tried everything, all shapes and sizes of potties and loo seats, "Cars" underpants (you don't want to pee on Lightning McQueen do you?), padded underpants, floating balls in the loo (aim for the balls), ...

He has managed to in the past a couple of times, coaxed by a childminder we had a year ago. It never happened again.

Yesterday i tried bribery (again) with something he really wanted, and that led to an absolute meltdown.
He's physically ready as he knows when the pee/pooh is coming because he goes to hide behind something.

What do I try now? All his friends have been potty trained for months or years.

Big school is looming and I can't think what to try next.
Child psychologist??

Help!!

If you've been trying on and off for a year or more, maybe it's as much stubborn-ness as anything? Or that he's fed up with the idea? How about just not making any attempt for a while. Assuming school in September, you could just not do anything for 3 or 4 months or more. Leave a step-stool available near the loo, but keep him in nappies (or pull-ups or whatever he's currently in). He may choose to use the toilet once the pressure is off.

Leave it for now, too much pressure.

DS2 was 3.10 when he finally stopped using nappies and DS1 was 3.7.
Both were fine for school.

Am sure your DS will get there.

I am having almost the same issues as you. Are you any further forward?

my ds is 3.2 and we are not having any luck - i've tried bribery with chocolate, got him fireman sam undies and said sam doesn't want to be weed on etc!

I've decieded to leave it for March and try again in April as he just cries now if i go to get his undies.
I'll be checking back to see if anyone has got anymore help!

I took my 3.5 year old shopping for some big boy pants after having told him that when he stopped wearing nappies I would buy him something special that he wanted. The special present was £50 but it was something I knew he really wanted and I figured I would save that amount in nappies in a month or so.

Anyway he did really well! He had a few accidents in the first few days but we just said not to worry, everyone has accidents and he was trying really hard. Within a week he was absolutely sorted and enjoying his new playmobil .

I had previously been getting concerned as we had tried a few times but he was just so not interested and when I could tell he was lacking interest whenI raised the subject the last time around rather than battle it out with him I decided that bribery and corruption were the way forward!

Good luck all xxx

OP, you have my sympathy, it sounds much like what we're going through here! I just logged on hoping for advice for a similar situation. My DS is 3.5 and is saying he wants to carry on wearing nappies - he just basically doesn't want to move on. I've tried lots of things (different potties, fun pants, bribery with toys and chocolate etc) and had some success for a day or two but then he wants to go back to nappies and has a total meltdown if I try to insist that this is a long term goal, not just for a day or two!

I think maybe the other posters are right and we're going to try just taking the pressure off for a while...

dc1 didn't show any interest.
we went shopping with him just before his third birthday, bought a big pack of nappies + a toy and told him when the nappies are empty there are no more.
took him 2 days to get dry, another day in night nappies (we used different ones so not to confuse with the day nappies).

I've a very stubborn 3.5 year old DS too. He will constipate himself rather than use a toilet for poos and squeals like the hounds of hell are after him if we try and get him to use a toilet for wees. Although we have had a little more success with a padded Cars toilet seat (most voiced complaint is that the toilet/potty is too cold for his bum and he's tall so I thought maybe the potty just wasn't comfortable) but he's still not there yet. He doesn't mind about wearing big boy pants because he's "only middle sized big" I'm very very aware that big school is coming (less than a month after he turns 4) and that everyone else I know has come out the other side a long time ago :(

Me too. I know DS2 (3) is capable but he doesn't want to.

i tried last week and he just took himself upstairs and put nappies and trousers back on.

But last week he did get out of the bath to do a poo on his potty,

Am thinking of just not having any nappies but not making a big deal of it and seeing what happens. Is that a recipe for disaster?

Me also! :) DS is also 3.5 and apart from sometimes weeing on the loo just before bed when I sit him there, he's content to sit in his own squidgy nappies and would just wallow in filth forever getting more and more bad tempered. He doesn't seem to know if he's about to go and the one day I tried pants he wee-ed every 20-30 minutes til I gave up after about 6 hours. It was awful.
Dunno if he has special needs as I suspect his Dad (my XP) might be aspergers, but judging by the rest of you despairing on here its not unheard of to take a while to train and be developmentally okay.
I don't know when I should start worrying seriously. I've reverted to nappies with bribes if he uses the loo but he doesn't seem to care.

My 3.5 yr old has just learnt to go to the potty sucessfully for the past 3 weeks has been totally dry in the daytime but not yet at night. It took 2 months to finally get there properly and i thank the nursery she goes to in supporting me with it. Because most of the nursery are toilet trained i know i had to persivear with it and it paid off! It took a lot of pacience and a lot of accidents to get there. Just go with the flow give it a few more weeks and make sure u do not revert back to pullups/nappies exept for at night as they confuse the child. And if in a few weeks he's still not ready leave it for a while until u think he's interested. Goodluck hope things go well my children were all late on potty but i can assure u by school starting they were dry, dont worry