Still wetting pants at nursery

[mumoftwolilboys]

DS1 (3.5) was forced to withdraw from his pre-reception (long story) from wetting his pants and he's now back at nursery. Whilst he wasn't doing too badly at school, he is now having daily accidents at nursery, on a bad day up to 5. It seems very linked to how he feels emotionally, and when he misbehaves most he also has the most wee accidents that day. He's perfectly fine with us and usually goes to the toilet himself or tells us. The only time he has accidents with us is when I take him to toddler playgroups (presumably playgroup is very much like nursery), or straight after nursery/swimming class. It's recently became very noticable, well, since being 'expelled' from school, it's got a lot worse.

We don't quite know what to do and have tried every tactic and strategy that we've heard of, read and suggested to us.

We feel very alone, it seems like all other 3.5 year olds are 'potty trained' except ours. We don't even know what he is.... potty trained with us but not at school/nursery?? Half-and-half Potty Trained? Is there an article somewhere that states a good statistic on how many 3.5 year old boys are actually completely potty trained? I know it's 9 months away, but we are getting extremely concerned about DS1 starting school next Sept.

Any comments/suggestions welcomed. Thank you.

We are in a similar position - In fact my little boy has wet 3 times and pooed twice !! V worried about school. I think it will just click. Boys are definitely more difficult than girls.

Sorry meant to say today

Am I right in thinking your DS was asked to leave pre school because he is still potty training? That is outrageous! Depending (clearly) on how it was handled, this might have made him feel very negative about himself and his wetting. Surely people working in an early years setting could have handled this more tactfully?

That aside, I would like to say, don't start stressing about what will happen a year or so down the line - a lot of ground can be covered in a year.

Secondly, don't feel too alone. Whilst the majority of kids are 'dry' at 3.5y, there are plenty who aren't. My DS1 'trained' at 2.5y, but still had accidents for a year after that. He was wet at night until 5.5y (when we used a bedwetting alarm, which helped him train over a period of about a month, with a couple of accidents per month after that for about another 6mths). Even though I knew a certain percentage of 5y.o.s are still wet at night, I was starting to feel panicky about it (although I tried not let my anxiety show to my DS).

As your DS becomes older, and more articulate, you could discuss strategies for avoiding wetting incidents with him. I am sure you have tried all the approaches such as reward charts, only putting him in pants and elasticated joggers - so he can get them off quickly, regular reminders to use the loo, encouraging him to take responsibility for putting his wet clothes in the laundry etc. Have a look at the ERIC website, which may have some other tips - it deals with daytime wetting as well as night time leaks www.eric.org.uk

Above all, try not to stress too much. With lots of positive praise, encouragement and patience, he will get there .

God, my children would have been kicked out of primary school up to about year 4 (age 8) if their regular pant-wetting had been that much of an issue! Maybe he needs a different pre-school. DS was still crapping in his pants at nearly 4. They just took a looooong time to get the hang of it.

Thanks for reply and nice just to hear that I'm not alone. I was starting to get really down speaking to a lot of people who agree that most children should be trained by now.

yes, we were asked to withdraw him as soon as he went back after half term. We had no choice as he wasn't allowed into school so what could we do?! The way they did it was absolutely appalling. But apparently they have every right to do that despite that being wrong technically and morally about the whole thing, which is probably why they have agreed to pay us back deposit and a little bit of the fees, of which we've still not seen a single penny.

He's now at two nurseries, happy-ish, but keeps asking to go back to his pre-reception. (Tough luck for him I guess seeing as he's been kicked out). Not sure if that's making his accidents at nursery worse. His behaviour has definitely gone really bad as he suddenly started hitting, biting and spitting.

We've just had a whole Christmas period whereby he's had only a couple of accidents(too excited over Christmas kind of accidents, so we had no issues with that), but in general we never ever had to remind him or take him to the toilet. He goes himself or asks if we're out and about. Even the occassional little patches he used do hasn't happened. He's back at nursery today and if he comes back with 5 pairs of soggy wet pants once again like he always does after a holiday... I don't know what I'll do!

We have had lots of wet pants over Christmas - some days 5 or 6 pairs.

feel desperate about it - anyone any ideas? We have been potty training for nearly 11 months now!!!

Ds1 is 4 and has accidents most days he just holds it too long and if not reminded wets himself