Started today - worried DD may perhaps not be ready?

[littleduck]

Hi there

Just properly started DD potty training today. Most of the children in her class at nursery are potty trained (she is 2 yrs 5 months). She loves going to the loo at nursery and is very independent and likes to pull her trousers and pull-ups, up and down. We bought a potty ages ago and just put it in the bathroom so it was there if she wanted to use it or was curious. She used to follow me into the loo and would sometimes sit on the potty and do a wee - not all the time but sometimes. Lots of praise when she managed it. She has pooed twice on the potty in the past, rather through good timing than because she said she wanted to, first time she was very upset by it, second time a bit upset but less so, again we gave her lots of praise.

Recently she has been getting up in the morning and saying 'it's wet' (referring to her nappy) and has actually told me she did a poo in her nappy and asked me to put it down the loo. She tells when she's doind/done poo or wee but not that she's about to do it. I thought she might perhaps be ready to start, especially as so interested in the loo at nursery, so we went together to choose some big girl pants and then made a start today.

I told her yesterday that she could wear her pants today, and this morning she actually said 'don't want nappy' and put the pants on very happily. She has managed a wee in the potty twice (once following bribery with a sticker as she was wriggling like mad as if she needed a wee) but we have now had about 6 wet pairs of pants and 3 dirty pairs. Just done a mammoth wee on the floor, poor little sausage. When she's been wet or dirty today she's told me she's messy and asked for clean pants. Her naptime nappy was pretty much dry after a nap of nearly 1.5 hrs.

Is this about standard for day 1 or is this just an indication that she isn't really ready yet? Nursery said to stick with it and not to use nappies/pull ups except for naps or night time but I don't want to put her through this if she's not ready.

Any thoughts very welcome.

I would say she isn't ready and wait a few more months. 2 years and 5 months is very young anyway to be toilet trained imo.

I always wait till mine are about 3. Makes the whole thing much easier and not stressful at all.

Thanks for the reply cece.
DP was in charge this morning and DD was not keen on wearing her big girl pants at all so he just let her wear a nappy. I wonder if he should have persevered with the pants but on other hand wonder if maybe she just isn't ready.

Any other advice gratefully received

I think she sounds totally ready! I would say it is completely normal to have loads of wet / dirty pants for the first few days and then suddenly they seem to get it. My 3 were like that anyway. First day or 2 were generally more wees on floor and a couple in the potty by day 3 about evens and by day 4 more in potty than floor and by the end of a week basically there. I'd suggest the first day or two it might be easier for her to wear a skirt with no knickers. If I were you I'd go for it now while she is showing an interest and seems fairly keen. I found bribery worked a treat with all of mine (the lure of a chocolate button usually helped them to perform!)

Thanks Nelly - your reply is really encouraging, however things seem to have gone backwards at this end!

I was trying to get her to come with me to the potty every half hour or so yesterday morning to see if we could get a few more wees in the potty rather than the floor (I'd been more or less leaving it to her on Day 1 to tell me as she is very stubborn and is more likely to do something if she thinks it's her idea rather than mine) but she wouldn't come at all and ended up getting very upset by being asked. She said 'no potty' and 'don't want potty'.

She then said she wanted a nappy and didn't want her big girl pants. At that point it didn't seem worth upsetting her any more about the process and so we put her back in a nappy. She seemed to cheer up rather after that. Later on in the afternoon I told her that I was going to go and do a wee-wee and she immediately said 'my do a wee-wee', at which point she raced off to the potty, took down her trousers (after I'd undone the button), undid her nappy, sat on the potty and did a big wee! We gave her lots and lots of praise and she seemed happy.

Similarly after her bath last night we ended up having a little race to the bathroom to see who could do a wee-wee first (she won) - it was only a little wee but still lots of praise.

Today she is very anti the potty and said she didn't want her pants, just wants to be in a nappy, has refused point blank to come to the bathroom with me and said 'no potty, don't want it' when she saw the picture of a potty on the front of a potty training book which was lying about.

I don't want potty training to be traumatic for her and don't want her to be upset by her potty. I thought about taking the potty out of the bathroom and putting it away for a while but then thought maybe just leave it there - it's been there for ages and so would be odd for it to go away. I wonder if we should just drop the whole thing and try again in a month or so rather than everyone getting stressed about it. She is very stubborn as I say so if she decides she doesn't want to do something then that's it and clearly we can't force her and wouldn't want to do that even if we could.

What do people think?