Potty training a three and a half year old

[leonardavine]

We have been potty training DD1 for 2 weeks now. Wees were difficult as she had stage fright and couldnt let go so she would hold for 3-4 hours and then flood 400 mls! after relaxing and a week later she is taking herself to the potty for wees but will not let us know when she needs to go when we are out and cant perform unless she needs to ie before we are going out and when being toileted when out and about she just wets herself. Poos are a complete nighmare. Just poos in her pants. She did 3 for her dad one day and the next back in hre pants again. Am reluctant to go back to nappies cos she has come so far and will be 4 in November, plus she has proved she can do it! Help please!

Not sure I can help but I had similar with DD1, she was 3.9 when we finally got her out of pull ups. She just refused to wee whilst out and about until she was in pain, and then I had to physically hold her on a toilet and she would scream and cry but the (huge amount of) wee would come out and she would be happy. I can't remember now how we got past that (sorry), but poos were a similar issue, and she would do it in her pants when she was falling asleep. Holding on caused constipation and ultimately some bleeding and pain which I think was an anal fissure. Sorry that's not the most heartening of stories, but it seemed to sort itself out once she started school.

I am in exactly the same position. We waited because I haven't been very well, and also DD showed no interest whatsoever. She wouldn't even tell me when she was dirty. She's 3.5 now and we're on day 5 of potty training with NO success so far. I just got rid of the nappies because I thought she was old enough that it wouldn't take too long. I think that assumption might have been a mistake!

She's happy to wear pants, happy to sit on the potty and toilet, but just won't do anything in them. She didn't do a poo for three days, and has just held her bladder for 5 1/2 hours. She flooded her pants 5 minutes after getting off the toilet.

The positives are that she will now come and tell me when she has had an accident, and also I think she has some control - she normally goes on the floor rather than on the sofa or bed or where she is sitting, which is preferable I guess.

We'll keep going, it's good to vent though! If anyone has any advice I too would be very grateful :)