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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Won't poo on the potty - need some advice!

18 replies

BlameItOnTheBogey · 07/08/2011 11:25

We've been potty training DD for about ten days now. She's doing brilliantly. We haven't had an accident in over a week and she reliably tells us when she needs a wee. Early on, she accidentally did a poo in the potty and was horrified. She kept saying it was dirty and yuck. We told her it wasn't and gave her lots of praise but since then she is clearly holding her poos until nap time when her nappy is back on. This isn't great because, amongst other things, it means her sleep is now disturbed as we have to get her up and change her.

Has anyone else been through this? What is the solution? SHe's doing so well apart from that...
I'd be really grateful for any advice.
Thanks!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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joric · 07/08/2011 22:45

DD wouldn't poo in the potty or toilet for a long time- she was dry for ages before she did. She would wait until night pull ups were on and we had said night night- then as regular as clockwork she would appear at the top of the stairs and announce that she needed clean pull ups!!!! We let her get on with it...everything in small steps!!

ThinkingAboutBoden · 08/08/2011 08:26

Similar situation here albeit a shorter timeframe as only started training a week ago. Going well I think but the poos are definitely the issue......I did hear that it can take longer for them to get that bit but still, wondering how long it took before your DD started in the potty or toilet as opposed to saving it until naptime?

My son (2 since July) has managed the following.........pooed on the toilet on day 1 (fluke I think!), nothing the next day, in his pants the next day (boo :( ), nothing again, during his daytime nap the next day, nothing again and finally in his pants again yesterday although he managed to tell me after only letting a little poo out so we got to the toilet and he did the rest there.....do you think he might be getting it? :)

So, I am basically just waiting for him to get it and preparing myself for the possible poo clean-ups that could occur while we wait!

So, back to my original Q............just out of interest, how long was your DD doing the pull-up poos for?

ThinkingAboutBoden · 08/08/2011 08:28

Sorry - how long was your DD doing night time pull-up poos joric?

OP - wish you luck!

joric · 08/08/2011 16:58

She was between 3 and four!! She didn't soil her pants, always her pull ups! See info on bowel control here...

www.handsonscotland.co.uk/topics/toileting/general.html

Sorry :) I don't know how to link it- cut and paste only here!

joric · 08/08/2011 17:25

here's the link!

Pelvicflooragogo · 08/08/2011 18:14

Ah same here! DS never pooed on potty or loo - either soiling pants or night pull-ups. We've not been putting him in pull-ups for his daytime nap - been fine - have you considered that as the next step? It was on the advice of nursery - they said they tend to learn quicker allegedly...

My DS always walked off to another room to poo in his nappy so I think the interaction aspect is really off-putting for him. And learning to poo in a different position. I can understand it really - I wouldn't want to tell people I wanted to poo and then be manoeuvred into position for it!

ThinkingAboutBoden · 08/08/2011 18:24

Thank-you for answer and the link too - interesting time-frame listed there.

We had a success here today as DS said "poo Mummy" and we went to the toilet where he sat and did his poo! So, he might be getting it for now anyway!

He is young though I know. I really wouldn't be considering training but he started to ask for a wee and go and stand near the bathroom and tell us about poos etc. Thought I should let him lead....hope I don't live to regret it! Also, I am in the UK for the summer so it seemed a good idea to get on with it when we would be in the house a lot (no car here until my husband arrives for his holiday too) and have my Mum around too!

Good luck OP and thanks again for responses

p99gmb · 08/08/2011 19:07

ditch the nappy... yes, even at bedtime... we are week 2 today and not one single poo in the bed... it was the only way I could get a chance in having a poo on the toilet or potty.. sure, he's sometimes wet at night.. more often than not he's dry (bonus) - wees aren't a problem.. leave a potty in the bedroom too

Forget pull-ups... too confusing for them...

Serious cold turkey has worked amazingly (for us anyway) and he's only 2.4 -

Original poster

BlameItOnTheBogey · 08/08/2011 19:14

Ditch the nappy? Seriously? But surely then she will just poo in her bed?

We had a minor success today. She started saying 'toilet' instead of 'wee wee'. So instead of the potty we sat her on the loo and she did a poo. Might this be the start of a solution?

I'm really uncertain about the idea to ditch the nappy altogether. She's pretty young and I just don't think it is realistic to expect her to go hours through the night and not make a mess.

But if we haven't sorted this soon, I may be prepared to try anything....

Thanks to everyone who has replied; keen to hear from anyone else who has a solution.

OP posts:

Original poster

BlameItOnTheBogey · 08/08/2011 19:15

Oh I see you leave a potty in the bedroom. She's still in a cot so that won't work for us.

OP posts:

nickschick · 08/08/2011 19:24

I think that a young child whilst being potty trained finds the release of the poop quite scarey its almost like releasing part of them iyswim?

Im inclined to think toilet over potty for poops as the poop is quickly flushed away -in a sense your cutting out the middle man -the potty,and you are encouraging them to use the next phase - it sounds vile but I allowed my own children to see me sat on the loo so they knew it was 'safe' and ok.

joric · 08/08/2011 22:42

We let DD lead too thinkingaboutboden - I also think 'potty training' is a gradual thing but that's just my experience and all children are different.
The time-line on link is interesting, especially this bit:
by the age of four or five, children generally are starting to become aware of the social stigma attached to wetting or soiling themselves. They become very conscious of the response of other children and the possible repulsion of adults who have to deal with the hygiene issues. This can lead to anxiety in the child as well as their carers, which can make the problem worse.
I think that it's important to 'normalise' going to the toilet when they are little- there was a lot of 'ooh, well done' when she went!!! :o
When they are approaching school age, it is probably appropriate to emphasise that it should be done in private.
Most children lead themselves though I would say.

Beamur · 08/08/2011 22:48

I think it's not unusual for there to be a time lag from being dry to being able and happy to poo in potty/toilet. I think it took DD several months, although it was clear she knew when she needed to poo, but she would hold it in all day and then poo once the night nappy was on and she was alone - she would then call down and tell us she needed a clean nappy. It was a bit of a pain, but it does pass.
The staff at DD's nursery said that many of the toddlers did the same - they would be in pants at nursery and were clean and dry and would ask to wee, but rarely pooed - they were saving it for home.
I wouldn't ditch the night nappy either as you will probably end up with mess and an upset child.

joric · 08/08/2011 23:03

Beamur! Exactly the same here! funny little people arn't they?! Apparently , none of my friend's DC did this...(?!) I think some parents are desperate for DC to be clean and dry and risk toilet training becoming a bit of a race!
Agree about night pull ups- DD liked the security of them fir a while after they were needed!

Beamur · 08/08/2011 23:10

I don't get the race either, sure it is more convenient, but they all get there in the end. I think in the end DD told me she didn't need the pull ups at night any more and has never had a night accident.
We tried 'cold turkey' but it was a disaster, DD got very upset and kept fretting about the accidents, so we went back to nappies and took it more slowly.
She got there in the end with a little prompting and lots of encouragement (and a big fat bribe - I promised her a scooter when she started using the potty) and was clean and dry with hardly any accidents.

joric · 08/08/2011 23:58

Ditto Beamur! ::o

Hybrid · 10/08/2011 23:09

We've only just been training over the last week (DS 2.2 years) and only because he just started taking himself off to the potty without prompting. The poo thing was an issue for us as well and, from what my friends tell me, for a lot of their kids too. One friend recommended we line the potty with a nappy so they can see it's there and it can make them feel much more comfortable/normalise doing a poo. We tried it with success and 3 days later, he actually took himself off for a poo minus the nappy!

Might be worth a try?

From what I can gather though, really does seem like a ridiculously common problem! And actually, that whole holding it in at nursery thing makes sense - how many people do you know who can't go for a poo at work and automatically save it for the safe confines of their home!

HauntedLittleLunatic · 10/08/2011 23:16

It sounds as though you have made a bit of progress...I was about to suggest you try poos direct in teh toilet. That is how we did it. What helped was that we bought a box of Kandoo wipes and sat them proudly on the cistern. We explained they could use a special "poo poo wipe" when they did a poo in the toiet. Once they have got the hang of that for a couple of packets worth of Kandoos you forget to buy them and wean them off Kandoo's once they are established on the toilet.

In any case Poos direct in teh toilet is a lot more hygenic and much easier to deal with in a practicle sense.

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