potty training and nursery

[MrsFT]

We've been training DD (2) for about 3 weeks and she is in pants apart from naps and nightime. All wees and poos are on the potty/toilet, although we have an accident every 3 days on average. She mostly tells me when she needs to go, or if its been a while I ask her. She is very proud of herself and knows she is a 'big girl'.

However at nursery she has about 1 accident a day - because of this they are insisting she wears pull ups until she is accident free. However, whenever she wears a pull ups she reverts back to nappy mode and does all her business in them. So it feels like a massive step back and is undoing all that we've achieved - plus she is now v confused.

I was very cross after finding out this - they didn't even tell me they just put her in a pull up and I had to ask why. Has anyone else experienced a similar situation? would it be reasonable to insist that they persevere with her in pants? I can't see how changing her clothes creates any more work than changing a nappy.

Thanks

No the nursery should not put her in pull ups, in fact where i work we don't use them for the training children at all unless they have diarrhea and we are sending them home. As you do we use only pants during the day and nappies for sleep. Ask the nursery to put her in pants, and only pull up and nappies for sleep. I would speak to the room leader, and the manager if that doesn't work.

It will only confuse her if she is put back in nappies for nursery which essentially is what a pull up is. They should know that.

Totally agree with cookielove. I am a nursery nurse and work with toddlers. My biggest bugbear is when parents put their children back in nappies because they have accidents at nursery. I want them to be in knickers because I know that they will get there but switching between nappies and knickers is just so confusing for the child.
Speak to your child's key-person.

Send in a pair of cloth pull ups if they are being awkward and insist on nappies for naps only

well, this is exactly what I came on to talk about. You have my sympathies. DH is clean and dry at home and in the car and during his naps at home (after 2 weeks of training) with the odd accident when out and about.

Nursery stance is "he's not ready" as he is two. They are insisting on pull ups for toilet training. I don't have pull ups (I have expensive nappies to use up and don't see what the difference is and frankly I expect, neither would he). Nursery WILL NOT consider a potty ("we don't DO potties here"). Nursery say to me things like "he didn't tell us he needed to go" and "he only does a dribble when we put him on the toilet, not a real pee". He went in his pants today. He had a poo accident. He was then put in nappy. As soon as we got home he told me he needed a pee and did one (a big one!) and has been clean and dry since.

I am SOOOOO annoyed at their lack of support. Of course I can't expect the same care and attention as I give him but I do expect SOME care and attention to his needs. It is a tiny nursery with approx 15 children. The other annoying this is that all of this is in their policy, which they kindly provided us with when DH almost blew a gasket over this with them last week (their lack of flexibility).

Please someone tell me HOW to have this conversation with the owner/manager (who has been the one saying no). I strongly suspect DS simply does not feel supported there.

thidsalright - i am so sad for you and your little boy, i don't know how you can possibly resolve this issue as it is in their policy they seem to think that this is the right way of doing things. Could you ask if you could bring in your own potty, as they must not have them if they are saying no to them, personally i would write a formal letter, informing that your child potty training and he needs to be reminded or sent to the potty x amount of times a day, and at no point should he be put in nappies, as you don't want you'll child to become upset and distressed over this development stage when he is already doing so well, e.t.c

note> i assume in your first line you mean that your ds is clean and dry and not your dh, i assume he has been clean and dry for a good few years

yes, DH is clean and dry

we would move nursery if he didn't seem so attached to the other children. I understand from other threads (did a search) that the potty thing is because they don't want to clean it out (surely easier than cleaning poo in pants though?!)

I don't want to hijack your thread OP, just wanted to say that management may not be that supportive either. makes me really mad the way they make you feel like yours is the first child ever to have accidents....

Poo in pants you just bin, (unless the parents insist we keep them) so essentially its just like a nappy, any who they are lazy and need a kick up the bum, and this is from someone who is always potty training, and cleaning wee up from the floor.

Thanks everyone. I had another chat with the manager and I think expressed my feelings without being aggressive! I said that I didn't expect them to deal with loads of accidents, but 1 a day is no more work than nappies. They still weren't going to budge however, although reluctantly agreed that we could try towelling training pants.

Anyway when I picked her up she surprisingly still in the pants she'd arrived in that morning (no accidents). I was told 'we thought we'd try pants as I could see u were no happy'. Well yes, I'm paying through the nose for a service and I expect a bit in return!

I think the problem is that they deem her as not ready due to being quite young - most of the 2 yr olds are still in nappies. Also, they seem to think that 'ready' means them being told when child needs the loo, rather than them needing to do some prompting at the same time.

Anyway no accidents here at home either!

Don't think 2 is too young.
I have 4 children and all nurseries i went to were very anti pull ups.they agreed that was confusing to have pants one day then pull ups the next
they had a 'toileting schedule' and also took them when they asked. Was never a problem to change wet pants!