DS3 - 3yrs 3 months - attempting potty training - help!

[MaMoTTaT]

Yes I know it's late - I wasn't in a "place" to do it before the summer holidays, been away for most of the summer so doing it now,

Well trying to - it's day 2 of properly going for it. (we've had the odd day since getting home and before the holidays of wearing pants)

Yesterday was good - all but one wee in the potty.

However,

a) he NEVER says he needs a wee
b) he NEVER tells me when he's wet..

I seem to recall I had this with DS1 and it took about 2 months for him to crack it (DS2 was a breeze - I took his nappy off and clicked my fingers and he was trained - well almost..) and 8/9/10+ accidents a day for the first few weeks......

I don't want it taking 2 months...........with a massive increase in washing again like that..........

HELP!

please.........

record today so far - 2 in trousers (that he didn't tell me about) 0 in the potty or toilet

please can someone give me some advice???

So far today - 4 wees and 1 poo in pants - 0 in toilet or potty.

And he's not told me about any of them

Sorry I am having the same problem but DS is 3 years and 7 months! If after a week it is still not working I would stop and try again in another month if I were you. I had the same thing with DD but by 4 she was fine. Don't worry it will click with him soon!

thing is I'm not sure how nursery will be about him being in nappies? I didn't think to ask - and as the other 2 were September and November babies they were quite a bit older when they start. It's just a pre-school one - so they only take them from 3 so don't know what they'll do about children in nappies

I posted a similar thread a couple of weeks ago about my DS who never asked to go. After about a week or so he just suddenly seemed to "get it" and has been dry for the last few days.
I suspect it just "clicked" but my method involved large "rewards" for potty or toilet use (chocolate buttons plus stickers - after 10 stickers he'd get a day out of his choice).
And - this is going to be controversial - I made it quite clear that I did not like cleaning up the mess that accidents caused. I didn't tell him off exactly and didn't punish - but I was certainly "harsher" than "oh well, nevermind, next time try to get it in the potty etc etc". This hasn't led to any problems with retention or anything like that - in fact just today he was boasting about the massive poo he'd just done in the potty

see Gargula - I have memories of DS1 - who I did the same as you've done with your DS..........but it was 3 weeks of EVERY toilet moment being done in the pants, and then much longer of several accidents a day .

Hmm,
Ok. Another idea I've read about is: making them help clean up any mess (I didn't dare try this as i could just picture the chaos that would result)
Just thinking about it - we also gave ds a "potty toy" each time he asked to go. But i think we got into a pickle with our various reward procedures and i'm not sure he understood it all.
Peer pressure? ds goes so much better when he is with his little friends who are asking to go. Nursery will probably help loads?

Sometimes children will not ask to go. Try asking him every half hour (5 minutes) if he wants to go. If you think that he does, and he says he doesn't, try telling him you need to go and suggests he sits on his potty while you sit on the toilet.

Dione - we already tried that one - last time we tried potty training he demanded to go back into nappies by 3pm each day as he was getting fed up of me asking.

He follows me to the toilet, wants to wipe me - "pretends" to go (on the toilet after me - but refuses to sit omn the potty up there) ........comes downstairs soaks himself and doesn't say a word.

No great words of advice but we're trying with DS1 who is also 3.3 years. He has done one wee on the potty today (day 2) but 4 accidents which only 1 has he told me about. We'll try for a week maybe and see if we see any improvement.

As for nursery, at DS1s nursery they are fine about nappies, but are encouraging him to sit on the toilet when he is changed. We have had a couple of previous attempts when others were potty training but it didn't work for DS1. Hopefully your DS3 will be OK in nappies.

Don't worry about the nursery- I've been told that they don't mind if they're in nappies (or pull-ups) so long as they can call you to change a stinky one if necessary.

With ds2 (2.10) I had two very fraught days earlier this summer where we stayed in, I asked him every half hour if he needed the potty and without fail, every time I turned my back for 2 seconds he went on the floor. I gave up then.

Then when we were on holiday he was running around the apartment a lot naked he actually tried to get himself on the loo, so when we came home we were nappies off. Lots of potties- one in every room (dead cheapo ones from Tesco's/Wilkinsons) and enormous amounts of praise when he did the deed properly. Even ds1 (14) does huge praise etc for him and ds2 loves it.

So, wee-wise, it's now sorted- but I took a much more relaxed line with it. Nearly offhand- 'Oh you can use the potty if you want, or have a nappy on. Of course, we use the potty.' etc etc. Now he tells us he needs the potty/loo. Or takes himself- he's very keen on being naked so it makes it easier.

The only trouble we're having is the poo- for some reason that's best done on the floor and we aren't too offhand with that, I have to say. We say 'Oh no, we don't do poos on the floor. We do them in the potty' etc etc.

Which actually, now I read it back, makes me soound very Joyce Grenfell, but who cares. It seems to be working.