Any similar experiences - DS wees/poos when put on potty, but not asking to go on and not bothered by accidents...

[sheeplikessleep]

Started on Saturday.

DS1 is quite OK at sitting on potty and has done both wees and poos in it. Physically, he can wee and poo when he wants / needs and gets that the potty is now the place to do it when asked. He has had quite a few accidents, but they are moreoften 'dribbles' that I notice, put him on potty and he does a huge wee. Then he is very chuffed with himself.

BUT, he isn't asking to go on at all and when prompted, he says he doesn't need to wee (even though I know he does).

I'm not sure if this is going to work yet, as he isn't motivated or inclined to ask. He doesn't show any upset when he does have an accident (the dribbles he isn't noticing).

I'm putting him on every 20-30 minutes

We eked out the time, didn't ask, just put him on in return for a sweet. Even then, there were always accidents if he was away from home. He started to say i need a wee wee when he had done one and gradually learnt to stop after a dribble.

It has been about 3 weeks now and we do a combination of reminding him and leaving him to it. Doesn't usually need the sweeties. However, after 2 dry days including poos on the potty we bought him a buzz lightyear. we motivated him with this offer when we felt he was nearly there and could do it, just needed a push.

Since then have had a few poo accidents as he wasn't quite getting it until after the deed was done but went without asking us yesterday (although then did another one in his lunchtime sleep nappy!) We have said that Buzz is for big boys so no accidents so there is a veiled threat there - DS needs this as he is quite headstrong but don't know whether it is the right or wrong thing to do.

I would say, if he is happy to go on the potty, put him on as frequently as you think he needs it, don't worry about poos if you can get the wee sorted, just put them down the loo and get him to flush or try to get him to the potty as they are coming or just done to check there is no more. Once there are no wee accidents, eek out the time a bit so he gets used to saving it up, then start to share responsibility for weeing on the potty. Start with reminding and the stop reminding. You need the odd accident at that point for them to know when they need it. If DS started having an accident I would do the same as you are doing and tell him to try to hold it and finish off on the potty. That seemed to help him understand the sensation. Bribery does work if they haven't got the natural motivation. Doesn't have to be sweets can be toys or even going to somewhere 'big boyish' that you need to be out of nappies for.

Good luck!

thanks mumtof for posting, that's great. i agree with your slowly slowly approach and it seems to be working with ds1! we had a bit of a breakthrough today. we went out for the first time and after a disastrous first attempt with the potette (it collapsed under him as i hadn't put the legs down properly, eek!), he refused to sit on it for 3 hours. then he wee-ed himself. but to be honest, i was amazed he managed to hold on to it for 3 hours. no other accidents today. we're putting him on every hour and a half ish and he's starting to say 'yes' when we ask him if he needs to go on it. it genuinely felt like i didn't spend the whole time cajouling him to use the potty today, nor did he spend the entire day on it! hopefully he'll continue.