Postnatal anxiety over baby health

[HopefulMother1]

Hi all. I had a baby 5 weeks ago who has wandering eyes. Sometimes they are normal and aligned, but noticeably they also often stray outwards, one or the other usually. This is my third child, and I love being a mother. My two other children are my little friends. I dreamed of the day we'd have three kids and, with a complete family, start doing fun holidays and building memories together. Now, because of this eye issue and associated developmental/neurological issues that i found down the Google rabbit hole, I am now definitely suffering with anxiety and low feelings. My husband is wonderful and positive, and the health visitor convinced him that such issues usually resolve in the first few months once the baby's eyes coordinate, but I'm not so sure given what others have posted on Mumsnet. To top it off, my husband is back working in the office during the week, I have to care for my other two kids for tge remaining summer hols, and baby has terrible colic that keeps me up all night. I could do with a friend. Anyone suffering anxiety postnatally and needing someone to talk to, please feel free to talk to me.

It is better to stay calm and wait for a few months rather than panicking. Children in their early development stage often go through several phases. I being a new mother as well can relate to your situation, I used to notice every little detail and get worried about all of it but then gradually started to observe the changes which arrive in a child and all the worries start getting sorted on their own.

I really hope to good God you're right @TheNewFinch . I have never felt so low. I will indeed try to ride out the next few weeks/ months amd hope my fears disappear. Thank you for replying to my post. I'm in such a lonely place. I really appreciate it.

Don't worry OP - my toddler's eyes did that. It was a sign that he was tired. He's now a very healthy 2.5yo, with perfectly aligned eyes.

Thank you @ToddlersAreBananas for the reassurance. It's so nice to hear a similar, positive experience.

Aw sorry to hear you're going through this health anxiety, OP. I had a huge amout of health anxiety for DD too when she was very young. Thank God she's just over 1 and as she's grown the anxiety has almost gone away, but remember how overwhelmingly panicky it feels. When they're small it's so scary isn't it. DD also had eyes often pointing in different directions, but it disappeared as she got older, she doesn't have that issue any more. Sending you a hug

Thank you @mcrlover . I wish I could snap my fingers and not feel this way. Thank you for the warm message - and it truly helps to know that perhaps there are more positive cases like my baby's than I know.

Just to add, I have read cases of eyes pointing in (cross-eyed) that have worked out well, just not so much eyes pointing outwards. That's where my anxiety comes in.

I have woken up feeling awful, not helped admittedly by the bleak weather. My head has been overrun all night with worries. I've slept very little. My hubby gave me a big hug this morning and said he is sure all will be okay, but I know he is probably saying that to quell my fears. We did look over videos of our first who came with his own set of worries that worked out to be nothing, but I can't help but worry that my luck has run out on the "it's nothing" front. I am looking after my two other kids and wondering how I will make it through another day like this, let alone another 3-4 months. Staring at the baby, praying that it is all in my head and resolves as everyone says it will. It is such a weight to bear.

Have you spoken to your health visitor or GP about how you’re feeling, OP? It’s so difficult - I had similar after the birth of one of my children. I remember the fear. Baby will have lots of checks as you know, and most things resolve. But I know that doesn’t help with the anxiety.

I reached out to my HV today @coloursquare . She has said she will visit me on 11th September - which feels like a century away. Not sure how I'll be by then....

Another day of posting on here to help order my thoughts. I've had a terrible night with the baby. He just wouldn't settle at all. He cried pretty much all night - regardless of being fed, burped, changed, hugged, held.... He sleeps most the day and when he is awake, unless held and fed, he just cries. He does not ever just sit peacefully in his rocker or lie peacefully anywhere. This is so different from my other kids. There is not a moment of peace with him unless he is asleep. That isnt normal. It's making me worry. I'm just in a constant state of worry about his health and all of his behaviours just make that worse. Writing my thoughts here is the only thing that is helping my mental state.