Breastfeeding - painful, fed up, feeling down

[Muse84]

I'm exclusively BFing my 5 week old. He's doing well and putting on weight. I am not doing well. It's always been painful but there seem to be good days then bad. I know his latch isn't great, on the right side especially.

I've been to BF cafes and even enlisted help of lactation consultant.

The problem is, his latch is ok ish when they're watching and I just accept everything is fine.

Now I have a blocked duct for the second time in right breast. The bottom half is bright red and sore. He clicks when he's on this nipple (lactation consultant thinks it's to control fast let down)- and the nipple is often white when he's finished so I know latch isn't good.

But how the hell can I get a good portion of breast into his mouth? If I place lower areola on his bottom lip, there is NO way my nipple - which is somewhere near his nose - is also getting into that tiny mouth. I often end up just shoving nipple in and hoping for the best.

I know I'm unlikely to get the help I need based on my description. I'm just fed up. I know the theory behind getting a good latch but for me, it seems physically impossible. I'm so frustrated and upset

Has anyone else had this and managed to find a good technique???

Maybe try experimenting with different positions? I struggled with the latching too I can't really explain how it got resolved, I just kept shoving it in there! There was a period in the early days where it was too sore and I had to rely on shields to keep going for a few days. Tried different positions etc and over time it just got better, now 13 weeks it doesn't hurt at all. Sorry that's probably not helpful! I used lots of guides online for different positions to try.
I hope you find a solution that works for you!

I really struggled with breast feeding until about 8 weeks in. I tried every kind of hold, position, lying down, sitting up, DS looked like a vampire sometimes there was so much blood. The thing that got it for me was giving up trying to position DS and just let him figure it out for himself, I think I just got comfy in an armchair and left him to wobble his little head into position himself rather than me trying to guide him. I think it’s called biological nursing because you’re just letting the baby’s own instinct kick in. www.llli.org/faq/positioning.html
www.llli.org/btissue5pg04

I agree with the above person. I found it better to let baby latch rather than me latching him on. Relax in the bath, skin to skin and see how it goes.

Also google Flipple technique. I know people who have had great success with this.

Good info on trouble-shooting clicking sound here: kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/clicking-when-nursing/

And managing fast let down here: kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/clicking-when-nursing/

I'd check out the red, sore breast too if you can. Try not to panic - breastfeeding is definitely not physically impossible for you- your baby is thriving. It just takes time and help for both of you to learn how to feed well. That was my big stumbling block - I thought it would come naturally but ut's a learning curve.

I found that putting my dS in the "rugby ball" position helped him latch correctly, after a week or so of having every feed in that position he learnt to latch easily in other positions. If you feel he's not latched properly, reposition him until he is- 1 bad latch can cause days of pain

Rugby ball hold and laying on my side in bed, were the only 2 positions I could manage.

It was always my right boob more than the other.

Have you had a posterior tongue tie ruled out? This sounds very like both of my DC and I only discovered the cause with my second.

Lip tie is also a possibilty but rarely looked at. Tongue tie needs to be mentioned a fair bit also, before they take notice.

Maybe try laying in bed on your side with baby next to you... my dd loves to feed like this and when I'm struggling with her latching and feeding this is the only way she will decide to latch

I found breast feeding really hard too. It certainly isn’t easy, both of my two DS were breastfeed. In the early days, and 5 weeks are still early days I would sometimes give my baby a bottle of formula at night just to help me recover and start again in the morning. It worked for me. I fed DS1 for a year and DS2 for 9 Months. Cabbage leaves in my bra also helped. Look after yourself OP.

If you’re anywhere near London I can recommend a great lactation consultant.

Another vote for flipple technique from me - basically press down on areola right next to nipple so that nipple is pointing towards you, then move baby’s head so he latches over nipple and gets a good mouthful of breast.

I still found it very difficult at five weeks, can totally empathise.

Thank you everyone for your advice and support. It's been a tough night and morning, but getting tips and reassurance that others went through the same (and came out the other side) makes a real difference

I went through the same. I typed deep latch technique into YouTube and watched videos of other women doing it. That really helped me. :)