April 2009 - Episode 11 - 'There's Something About Teutonic Penises....'

[Guimauve]

05 Mar: Kazkiss: ISABELLE FLORENCE 4lb 6oz & OLIVER THOMAS 3lb 7oz
15 Mar: Cakeforbrains: OSCAR WILLIAM 7lb 2oz
27 Mar: ZuluWarrior: Alexander James 7lb 15oz
28 Mar: FrogmellaMoonbeam: VIOLET ROSE 7lb 9oz

02 Apr: Oddeyes: ELEANOR 9lb 8oz
03 Apr: Bebemoo: MEGAN LILLIAN CONSTANCE
03 Apr: Bumpalump: JACOB 8lb
04 Apr: BabyBolat: KARAHAN 6lb 5oz
04 Apr: Kingbeat23: IRIS
05 Apr: JumeirahJane: MILLICENT ROSE 5lb 15oz
06 Apr: BoffinMum: FELIX DAVID GORDON 7lb 9oz
08 Apr: girlylala0807 JAMES EUAN
11 Apr: SpringySunshine: GEORGE NATHAN 8lb 15oz
11 Apr: RachelinScotland: CLEMENT JAMES 8lb 14oz
11 Apr: Lou031205: ISLA SOPHIA 7lb 9oz
11 Apr: Electra: ISABELLA CAROLINE 6lb 3oz
11 Apr: AuldAlliance: ALEXANDRE 7lb 6oz
12 Apr: Phdlife: Name TBA GIRL 9lb 3oz
13 Apr: MathsMummy27: AMELIA CHARLOTTE
15 Apr: Guimauve: HUGO GEORGE 9lb 2oz
15 Apr: Bronze: ISAAC JOHN 7lb 14oz
15 Apr: Kalikaroo: Name TBA BOY 8lb
16 Apr: PuzzleRocks: HOLLY ELIZABETH 8lb
16 Apr: Brettgirl: HANNAH GRACE 6lb 15oz
16 Apr: ReallyTired: Name TBA GIRL
18 Apr: Staryeyed: Name TBA BOY 7lb 11oz
18 Apr: Dawntigga: SAMUAL 5lb 11oz
20 Apr: Wrigglyfish: SEBASTIAN 9lb
20 Apr: Swaliswan: BETH 7lb 9oz
21 Apr: B52s: SAM MARTIN 7lb 9oz
21 Apr: Feierabend: HAZEL LOIS 7lb 9 oz
21 Apr: Mrsgboring: EDMUND 8lb 12oz
23 Apr: Tristalewjac: LEWIN 8lb 4oz
23 Apr: NuttyTaff: TIAHNA SKYE 8lb 8oz
23 Apr: Purplemonkeydishwasher: ISLA ELIZABETH 8lb 14oz
26 Apr: Carameli: THEO LAURENCE 7lb 6oz
26 Apr: Surprisenumber3: EVIE ANNE 8lb 2oz
26 Apr: Bicnod: OSCAR MATTHEW 8lb 1oz
27 Apr: Loobylaboobs: OLIVER STEPHEN 7lb 7oz
27 Apr: Gingersarah: VERONICA ROISIN 9lb 1oz
30 Apr: MegBusset: ARCHIE 8lb 15oz
30 Apr: Elpis: ISLA JESSICA 8lb 11oz
30 Apr: Ladyofmuswell: SAMUEL
01 May: Satheresitting: Name TBA BOY
03 May: Conkertree: Name ANGUS ANDREW 8lbs 8oz
06 May: Frekkles: HARRIS MERLIN 8lb 5.5oz

Hi bebe!
I meant to say that your DH sounds a little like mine, and that the buying boots scenario made me very angry on your behalf.
I wanted to suggest that you already are being mother to two children in many ways and that until your DH grows up and assumes a little more responsibility (financial and other), he's not really in a position to pressure you into anything.
Does that sound harsh?

BA has outed herself; she was bored stuck at home doing origami in a snowstorm in central Paris and posted in order to observe reactions in the interest of science and a book she is researching for. We should have known because she used the key words exW and Miami in her OP.

Auld thanks, really appreciate that, need to know that kind of thing if we are planning on moving. What are the options to study at the good schools?

VeryInterestedTiggaxx

No King, I said as much earlier. I agree with the posters who have consequently said it makes us look childish. It can get very "playground" in here sometimes.
I think it can be easy to forget about others feelings when all you are looking at is words on a screen. I know when I first joined MN I got carried away once and was quite rightly told off by Aitch. I do try to think before I post.
I'm not a SuperNanny fan but some of the cattiness is really uncalled for.

please refer once more to my name...

SIGH

Nutty sorry to hear about brother; I'm in Cardiff so let me know if I can do anything for you guys.
What else did I read? I cannot remember at this moment. I'm very tired dealing with my snotty teething, non-sleeper...here's some hot cocoa to help everyone else too....

Marking thread

Right dh and babino#2...

I paraphrased what was said on here. And brought up my concerns abt not even really being able to cope well some days now etc etc etc. We danced in fancy costumes, me in a big pink dress him in a red and golden outfit (sorry I digress into musical references at weird times it comes from them being the only films I saw growing up in OKLAHOMA! Wisconsin because my mother thought anything else would lead us into trouble with a capital T that rhymes with P... I could go on and on)
Any how! He listened and we went around and around (metaphorically dancing) and I pointed out that things like biking would need to take a second to the family especially if we had another close together. And he said he'd get his act together and get organised so there'd be no worries about money. Or trouble with biking and so he'd be able to help out more. HE said that if he really got on top of things then it wouldn't take him half as long to go train. I pointed out that I knew this, but I had mentioned this before we had even had Moo and he said he'd do all these things, but we still were having trouble. He got very quiet. then said he knew and he knew he wasn't really doing his fair share. He said he's been feeling like when ever he tries to do things for a crying Moo that she doesn't want him and he's no good at it and that she just wants me and I always know what to do. To which I laughed and said I had no fricking clue and just went through 'the list' until she settled....He said he'd try much harder and not be afraid to ask for help/suggestions when dealing with her.

And he said we'd look for a place in/around London t use as our home-base, but that we'd have to get rid of Kennedy (the cat) if that were the case. Which I agreed to since it's the only reasonable option.

Then I re-stated the fact that I really need to go home for my little sister's wedding and being preggy at the wrong time would mean I'd not be able to go and so I thought we should wait. He said that it wasn't like he wanted us preggy right away, it was just that he was thinking that it wouldn't be the most horrible thing if we did get preggy from any point onward and he didn't mean to put pressure on me. But only thought I'd want to 'get on with it' since we had waited longer than I had wanted to in the first place and he had forgotten about the up coming wedding (I only mention it like once or twice a week). So yes we should probably wait until we're in the clear before we return to trying.

Then we went to sleep and I woke up to Meg crying and Ben picked her up and bounced her around a bit then started talking at her in an annoyed voice and plonked her down on the bed beside me and said. SEE SHE JUST WANTS YOU AND MILK! So I took Meg and fed her (she was hungry) then put her back in bed and talked it all through with him again. Then we went to sleep again and in the morning as we were getting ready to leave I mentioned booking the hotel for next week (rather than letting it go until Sunday) and he said yeah, that would be a good idea, and then under his breath said, assuming there's money in the account still.......
......

oops that is very long...

I feel disheartened again. I was trying hard to be positive and after the initial talk I was feeling positive. But let's be completely honest he's not going to change is he? And no matter when the next baby comes I'm still going to be the one doing it all and dealing with him being disorganised too. so it'll be like having another child (as you point out Auld).
So the only thing I can do is be damn sure that I set things up so I still get the things I want. So I'm going to apply for my own savings and squirrel away some money. Because I am going to Grad School. I will get my Masters and then I will get my own career and. It just makes me so sad because part of me feels like I've been let down and that my 'things' aren't as important and are back burner. And my things have always been back burner because I lived in a big family and we didn't have lots of money...sigh. My chips have been thoroughly pissed on by the one who in reality I never ever thought would...

Oh that's right I wanted to say WFH I'm glad the MRI was quick and you got mum home and feed and getting back to herself. Such things are very trying. My g-ma is in and out of hospital for tests and things and it' horribly straining I know. Hang in there and hopefully everything needed to be accomplished was so you can get some answers.

[beggars belief emoticon]

I really cannot find the words to respond to that right now Bebe. I am too full of RAGE for you

But most importantly, you are right, he is not going to change. I am so very impressed that you were able to hold your temper. I would have been like this

Does 'How to talk so they listen' work on DHs??

Um, Puzzle, you are naughty, you got deleted!

I agree with Gui i wouldnt have been able to be sooo calm. I cant think if what else you could do. so just wanted to give big hugs. But i do think that he needs to know that you need to put the whole baby making thing on hold till he can prove that he can mature a bit. He obviously is not concerned about ensuring there is money to provide for the family he has at the moment so adding another baby to the mix really will not help. Ohhh sorry i am on your behalf now and sometimes wish us mn could form a gang to visits some DHs to give them a bit of a wake up call! (just realised that sounded violent I just meant a good talking too.

where did puzzle get deleted what did she say>?

oooh and nutts ; hope you are ok love and your brother is on the mend. what a horrible thing to happen over christmas. [hugs emoticon]

Puzzle - why you get deleted?

bebe - I kinda thought this might happen, sorry. They are like tectonic plates, changes takes forever. I find retraining them is a bit like a puppy, keep a rolled up newspaper handy and a pocket full of treats. Metaphorically for both - never hit a dog in my life but I did attack the exh with a newspaper once.

AhThoseWereTheDaysTiggaxx

How embarrassing is that? Right after I claim to moderate what I post I get deleted here. Explanation why is on FB. I feel like I have really arrived.

Bebe - I'm so sorry. I don't really know what to say. Would it be too drastic to threaten him with going home to the States for a while unless he gets his act together?

OMG - Puzzle, I just tried to look you up on FB to find out why you got deleted and I can't get on your page....have you been deleted there too???...blimmin' 'eck it must've been bad!!!

Unfortunately there is no money for me to go home and to be honest I'd be even more upset I think and let's be honest again...things would completely fall apart if I wasn't around to nag him.
WHY? Why do I have to nag?
I know he's not doing it to be mean. Or because he doesn't care. He's got some sort of block about it and he cannot get around it. And the thing is I don't have the time to properly sort things (or so I feel) because of Moo. I'm thinking of getting someone to watch her for a couple of hours...maybe the neighbors or maybe my ILs and then sit down and go through and What? what?!? I don't know what more can I do? Walk him through it I guess again. Get it all current and up to date with the timesheets. Leave nothing untied so to speak and then listen to the alarms I've made and remind him to do them each week again and again and again until it finally happens without me asking (i.e. until he retires).

Tigga, it varies from place to place, and over time as well. Often the rarer subjects, like Latin or Chinese, are only available in the "better" schools, so if you vaunt your child's eagerness to do that subject, you can shift out of your catchment area. Ditto for "European classes" (where some subjects are taught in French and others in another European language, but don't get me started on how crap some of the geography/history/maths teachers' English is). And in Aix, for example, there is a "lycée international", with bilingual teaching, which is fed into from a specific "collège" with tests for pupils wishing to get in.
Basically teachers always know how to get round the rules and avoid putting their kids in bad schools/classes.
FWIW I think the preschool and primary system is amazing here, given the limited resources and the crap the gvmt spouts. DS1 has a fabulous teacher, and they do amazing things for 4-5yr olds.
After that it gets a bit more complex. But that's another long post about what is going wrong with the "collèges" and lycées? And don't get me going on current teacher training reforms, which I am sure are going to worsen standards drastically.
Where are you interested in moving to? When?

Bebe, I'm so sorry. It sounds as if you are in a slightly similar position to mine, but worse because you've not finished studying and got work. I don't know what to advise, but I agree that you are very calm and collected, and that you have to work out some strategies so that your needs don't always come last.

Nutty, any news of your DB?
WFH, hope your mum is OK.
King, how is Iris?

Puzzle, your FB page is unavailable!

AA - Have managed to get dioralyte 7oz down her and a beaker of water...no poo or vomit, but no food either so it's a given. Hasn't really been fussed about food until now, so am gonna hold out for as long as i can if possible and then see how we get on tomorrow. Was meant to be sorting out everything for work next week but have been housebound with illness, snow and general malaise in the house.

Ah well

King my mom suggested watered down flat sprite/7up too. She said she was told that the sugars in it helped. Not sure if such things are 'acceptable' now. Maybe even watered down EBM or F would do some good (and be far better for I).

Puzzle I can't even get onto the Fanjo Warriors site! What is it with you?

Sounds to me like Iris is on the mend. FWIW the current advice with bf babies is to just keep feeding them breast milk, so surely a bit of watered down formula can't do any harm? Being hungry on top of feeling sick is horrible.

Auld thanks for the thorough explanation, it's very interesting the way the education system works differently in each country. I don't get how children can be taught in an appropriate way without streaming, I understand there is no real streaming in the UK either so shall see how my girls get on. Or am I wrong?

Bebe that's just incredible. I don't know what to suggest apart from don't get pregnant right now!