Why won't god help me?

spookycharlotte121 · 2010-06-03T15:21:30+00:00

I have been praying and praying that he just ease up and give me a break but things keep getting worse and worse in life. I dont understand it. Im trying not to lose faith but right now I feel like he has abandoned me or is punishing me.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 03/06/2010 16:39

Have you spoken to your minister/priest about this? I'm not a believer so can't help, but I know the churches are there to support their members.

MrsBadger · 03/06/2010 18:12

without being harsh, have you done anything else to improve your situation except pray?

helps those who help themselves etc etc...

Mousey84 · 03/06/2010 18:45

Im a "baby christian" so I cant pretend to know it all, but someone told me that sometimes when we ask for something the answer is no, or not yet.

I dont know whats going on in your life, but like mrsbadger says, maybe there are steps you could be taking to help ease the situation.

ZZZenAgain · 03/06/2010 18:55

pray differently charlotte. Pray to be given strength, courage, wisdom. Pray that someone will enter your life who can guide you to solve a specific problem.

It could be the answer is no, because there is a need for you to grow. It isn't all light and easy I'm afraid and it is nice to think we are gambolling little lambs of God but the world stays as tough as it always was.

I don't know your situation but what is the major problem right now? Can you define that foryourself (not necessarily here), pray specifically about that and read and listen.I think many many people have prayed like crazy in desperate situations and help didn't come - I think of those poor Jewish mothers in the Holocaust for instance. I bet they prayed harder than I ever have but you cannot "make" God do soemthing. If your prayer is good, the Bible does say some of the things we can pray for and your intention is right and it is God's will, your prayers get answered butin his own time

ZZZenAgain · 03/06/2010 18:57

should say, your prayers may get answered, I don't think there is a guarantee

catinthehat2 · 03/06/2010 19:01

What about asking for strength to deal with crap instead?

You might never have a particularly straightforward or easy life, but you might actually be designed to take it on full tilt though you don't know it yet.

Original poster

spookycharlotte121 · 03/06/2010 20:57

I just feel like all this has gone on for so long. I just want some peace in life.

I feel like every day is a battle just to do things that are so simple and I really do feel like there is a black cloud lingering over my family. We have been through so much.... too much. I dont wish it on anyone else but it just seems like everything always lands on our door step.

I know I sound a bit woe is me but Im emotionally exhausted. I feel like god has previously been there through all the crap but I cant hear him anymore and I just feel a bit lost.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 03/06/2010 21:01

Well, spooky, if I win the EuroMillions tomorrow, I'll be happy to play God and give you, and several others I know on here, a break.

Thinking of you and wishing you the best.

Pattertwig · 03/06/2010 21:19

how about a book like Wastelands or something to help focus your spirit?

Pattertwig · 03/06/2010 21:29

have just been thinking bout this a little bit...

I just clicked a song I love by Amy Grant (I need a silent night) and it came up with the verse from Psalm 29 that says:

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace."

I just wondered - do you pray the scriptures?

I mean like telling God that you are part of "his people" and therefore are promised peace and strength... Sometimes we need to pray His words over ourselves instead of just praying for help in a general way.

How about that? Would you like some help in composing an archive of scripture to claim for yourself? After all, it's already been promised - you may as well ask for your share!

lou031205 · 03/06/2010 21:32

" 31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." Isiah 40:31

Spooky, read job. Life sucks sometimes, but God is there to hold our hand, not make us immune.

Original poster

spookycharlotte121 · 03/06/2010 23:34

I have lost touch a bit with church.

Since I moved out from my mums its hard to get there as its 20 mins from me and with 2 kids to get ready we rarely get there on time.

I will have a look when i go to bed. thanks.

OP posts:

ZZZenAgain · 04/06/2010 08:38

Can you face getting up a bit earlier every morning, before the kids are upon you? Pray for guidance, read a little and then take a bit of time to just connect. Then I would in your position pray for healing and inner peace.

Have personally never come across a church where the incumbent is not willing to pray with a distressed member for soemthing such as guidance, healing and peace. Don't worry about asking for help.

permanentvacation · 04/06/2010 08:41

I'm not sure how old your children are, but whenever I talk to Christians with pre-school children (especially if there is more than one pre-school child) they usually say that things are harder than they imagined. In terms of managing spiritually, maintaining a prayer life and all of the things that people associate with spirituality become squeezed out by the overwhelming demands of bringing up small children. If this is your situation, then at least know that it is usual and not because you are a spiritual failure. I found it very difficult to maintain the pattern of prayer/spirituality from my pre-children days once my children turned up. Partly it requires a shift in how you go about relating to God (I can say more if you want to hear more) and partly it is recognising that life with pre-school children is temporary, and in a few years time some sort of balance will start to return.

Anyway, I may be talking about the wrong thing so I won't witter on anymore. Do know that any prayer said is never wasted - I always say that prayer will never make anything worse, and might just make it better.

MmeTrueBlueberry · 04/06/2010 18:26

It is a good idea to keep a prayer diary, which you can then look back on and realise that God does answer prayer.

God doesn't answer every prayer because you may be asking for something that is unreasonable.

And in your prayer times, are you listening to God? He may be giving you direction and you are missing it. What is your bible reading routine?

I would suggest that you get support from other Christians. Christianity is not a solo religion - it is all about relationships. Are you in a women's bible study, or a home group? Does your church have pastoral assistants?

indigobarbie · 04/06/2010 20:07

I sometimes think that God gives us the answers we need but we don't always get the messages in the way we might expect.

Also if going through a particularly bad time I ask for help in seeing situations from all sides and not just my own to gain perspective. I then quite often receive thoughts about things and can see from a different point of view. Sometimes this can be helpful.

I often wonder if the choices we make in life or the things that happen do actually happen for part of our learning or experience on earth.

chenge · 04/06/2010 22:16

its hard to imagine that God would not answer us when we pray for something,God doesn't always answer our prayers in the way we ask of Him,sometimes you pray for that and God gives you something else,you pray for healing and like Paul.God instead will give you the strength to hold on,,

just remember what you are going through He knows it all,and He says He will never leave nor forsake you,,that is a promise,,the bible has got 365 DO NOT BE AFRAIDS,,for every day that you are alive,,God is telling you to not be afraid because He is with you,,i hope your situation gets better and that God gives you the strength and peace of mind you need,,and that He will reveal Himself to you in His way,,

Waswondering · 04/06/2010 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suziewoozie · 05/06/2010 08:59

Bad things happen in life. God can't stop bad things happening to people, but he can help you to get through them. Pray for the strength and grace that you need, and ask for his guidance to deal with whatever it is that life has dealt you. He cannot and will not interfere in your own free will - you may need to change things yourself in your life, you don't say what your problems are. If that is the case, pray for the strength and support to make those changes. It may be that there is a lesson to learn, that you need help to understand - pray for understanding as well, and ask for others to pray for you. Don't pray in the kind of way that asks Him to take away whatever problem you have, or miraculously solve your problems, it really does not work like that. Pray with a trusting heart that He knows what is best for you, ask for the help that He knows you need, and the grace to accept that, even if it is not quite what you expected. God bless you. x

hannahsaunt · 05/06/2010 14:08

Spookycharlotte - the passage that helped the most when I was at my absolute lowest and in utter torment was Psalm 23 - "even though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death ..." It made me realise that God doesn't carry us over the valley, or round the valley but we go through - together; there isn't a get out clause from the valley but we are not abandoned to it alone either; we are accompanied, held, guided and comforted through it. And there is an end; one day, somehow.

MmeTrueBlueberry · 06/06/2010 15:19

Another good scripture reading is the first few verses of the book of James.

MaryBS · 06/06/2010 17:45

One of my most comforting phrases is from Julian of Norwich, who heard God telling her this in a vision, when she asked him about suffering and sin "sin is necessary, but all will be well and all will be well and all manner of things will be well". It says to me "God knows why it has to be like this, but it is, but it in the end it will all turn out alright". And I take "in the end" to mean not in this life.

Adrian Plass has written a couple of EXCELLENT books for Christians who are struggling, I really like what he writes because he speaks of his own troubles, but also has a good sense of humour. Not only that but the bible passages he quotes are so apt!

The Unlocking

When you walk

Mousey84 · 07/06/2010 13:39

How has your weekend been charlotte? Been thinking and praying for you.

chenge · 08/06/2010 14:14

its hard to imagine that God would not answer us when we pray for something,God doesn't always answer our prayers in the way we ask of Him,sometimes you pray for that and God gives you something else,you pray for healing and like Paul.God instead will give you the strength to hold on,,

just remember what you are going through He knows it all,and He says He will never leave nor forsake you,,that is a promise,,the bible has got 365 DO NOT BE AFRAIDS,,for every day that you are alive,,God is telling you to not be afraid because He is with you,,i hope your situation gets better and that God gives you the strength and peace of mind you need,,and that He will reveal Himself to you in His way,,

VeroVero · 10/06/2010 15:08

Dont think God left you, he never does, but sometimes we have a tendency to try and make Him do things, instead of take a step back and allow Him to guide us. When you pray remember to be firstly thankful - too often we come to Him with requests forgetting all the great things He has done for us (think how woudl you feel if your child didnt thank you). Also minister to God through a scripture, when you are deeply in the prayer ask God to help you understand teh situation and open Bible randomly - I have done it plenty of times and there was always an answer to what I have been asking. Think about the scripture He gave you and it will help you.

The lst but not least thing is you have to meet God half way - what I mean is if you pray for a car why dont you work on getting your license at the same time;-))))

God bess,
Veronica