First Holy Communion

[unfitmother]

My DD receives the Sacrament soon and I need a dress for her.
I hate the way girls are 'tarted up' for their first Holy Communion. I remember at DS's how a couple of the girls spent the whole mass fiddling with their ridiculous outfits.
The dresses on specialist websites are awful, I hate the Bride of Christ look!
I would like something inexpensive,pretty, yet understated for my very girly DD. Has anyone any suggestions?

Try looking at Next? Did you want something white/bridesmaidy or more special occasiony?

Hate is a very strong word, just because they are not up to your own very tasteful high standards does not mean that God loves them or their 'tasteless' parents any less.

And what does the "bride of Christ look" involve?

Hi, unfitmother. How does your dd see it? My own dd, despite careful feminist training, was very keen to have the whole white-veiled-rosebud look .

And, erm, cough, I too liked it at eight much to my own mother's disgust.

Agree it's not necessary from an adult point of view, but it may be a big part of the pleasure of it for your dd, like birthday cake candles and Christmas trees.

I suppose you could argue that any ritual/ceremonial is unnecessary, but that's slightly at odds with being RC - I mean, we have priests in long gowns and silky chasubles and lots of lace and bells and smells... as I see it, first commmunion is one of the few days on which little girls get to be part of the dressing-up ceremonials.

Maybe you could compromise? How about a simple white dress and flowers in her hair, but ditch the veil? My dd in the end wore my veil... maybe you could cut the cost if that's an issue by borrowing one? It's also kinda a nice tradition.

M&S are doing communion dresses this year - haven't seen them in RL, only on the website, but they look reasonably restrained.

I think John Lewis also have some plainish ones and I think Debenhams had one in white (rather than ivory) in their bridal section. I would avoid the speciality shops/websites as they tend to veer towards the meringue look... though there is one (based in Kent iirc) which has been recommended on MN in previous years which had a lovely one in white linen.

Sometimes some of the French catalogues like La Redoute/Vertboudet have nice summer dresses in white. As does Monsoon.

Very few girls wore veils when my dd did hers a few years ago (and the ones that did wear them looked ridiculous (imo)!

DD has a gorgeous ivory bridesmaid dress from John Lewis, very simple and tasteful, so they may do something similar in white?

DD is quite girly but recoiled in horror at the "Linzi Joy" collection in town, she wants something pretty, and our parish leans towards the full-on look...have no idea what we'll end up with, so long as she's comfortable I'll go along with it.

A fair few in dds First Holy communion wore veils - not over their faces, but prettily over their hair. dd had a very simple white dress that was reduced in Monsoon. I think she looked beautiful.

Just Dresses is good for ideas - they have meringues but also some simpler things with sleeves (I hate the assumption that 'occasion' or 'party' dress always means bare arms)

agree that a summer or party dress that just happens to be white eg thus is a very good plan, but I can see her preference may be for polyester satin...

Grapefruitmoon, love your name! The Tom Waits song, I assume?

I have a slight bias against veils secured with crowns, I confess, but it's probably just disguised ethnic prejudice. Otherwise, a veil is just an elaborate mantilla, surely.

Yes Abbey, changed for Halloween a few years ago and decided I preferred it to my previous nickname! (There is a Raindogs about also...)

DD is very girly and would love to dress up. Whilst I want someting special to mark the sanctity of the occasion, I don't want her outfit to be the most important part of the day. I would be happy with a short veil, if she wants one.
So many of the specialist web-sites have only long dresses which I definately don't want.
There are some nices dresses at BHS but tend to be ivory bridemaid dresses. I would like white.
I have looked at M&S but they all appeared to be long, will look at John Lewis next.
Thanks!

I got dd's in Debenhams - it wasn't in the wedding section, was just a nice simple white party dress, calf length.

Great, I'll go there next week, that is just what I'm after.

Dunno if this helps - dd's dress came from Bois de rose in Paris - think they would probably ship. It was short and white cotton, smocked. Wiht a short sash of the same fabric. Very plain, and a bit old-fashioned.

Hahaha! I have also recoiled in horror at the Linzi Joy or whatever, collection.

I did find a gorgeous (if pricey) handmade french linen dress on a US website. I showed DH, expecting him to weep with the beauty of it. He just flatly said "She's Catholic, not Amish."

And shoes. Talk to me about shoes. DD has paddle feet, so won't fit into white startrite by then (I wanted to go for the mary jane and ankle sock look. She can't walk in the ballet pump style they sell in monsoon. What are we to do?

Vertbaudet

There is a new company based in Britain that has had a lot of press coverage in Ireland about getting back to basics with Holy Communion Dresses that have simple elegant designs they are called Trumpets and Tiaras. Also many of their dresses, veils, tiaras etc are all made in the UK.

I know you posted a while ago but I have just got my daughter a very short veil secured by a comb for the back of her head from Debenhams.

I loved my long veil and dress in the 1970s. It was, however, fairly plain.