finding a counsellor, need help post-Catholicism and with family stuff

[vezzie]

I was brought up Catholic and have a lot of respect for many of the Christians I have known, finding that many of them are very kind and positive forces in the world as well as often more philosophically sophisticated than the non-religious seem to assume (and often are themselves).

As an adult I am not able to belong to the church for many reasons and I feel very lost wih no one to discuss this with. I am expecting a child and have a partner but cannot do sacraments. I need help to come to terms with all this from a counsellor who is understanding of family things, religious things, philosophical things, and probably feminist things too. I have never met such a person. Please can anyone advise me on how to find a suitable counsellor?

thank you

A good counsellor will usually not try to tell you anything philosohical, so I don't think it really matters how much they know about catholicism etc. counselling is more about helping the person find the answers they need for themselves.

if you want answers, then a self help book may be better (although I think they're mostly facile) or even some good novels to cast what you're feeling in a different light. david lodge wrote a good one about the effects of catholicism called how far can you go? or, since I take it you're still a believer, could you talk to someone from a more liberal church?

Hi SenoraPostrophe,

Thank you for replying. I know counsellors dont tell you what to think but they aren't much use if they don't understand what you are confused about. I am not sure if I am a believer in fact. But I have had a tiny bit of standard issue NHS counselling (for depression) and the counsellor just didn't really know what I was talking about most of the time.
Thanks anyway - do you know how to find counsellors at all?

You could perhaps try spiritual direction? I guess it depends on how much you want to explore your beliefs?

whereabouts are you vezzie?

I agree that spiritual direction may be what you're looking for. Do you know an aproachable priest who may be able to pass on some names?

Hi HHIBTM and Tommy - I am in greater London. I don't know what spiritual direction is, I will google it.
I don't know any approachable priests, the only one I know in London is negative and scary.
thanks for the tip, I am off to research now.

but I'm not sure a philosohical problem is for a counsellor anyway. they are not the panacea many people believe them to be. I've not had to find one lately but I'd start with the yellow pages if you still want to go down that route.

you could also try the humanists if you don't find your answers from another priest