Catholic parish don't respond.

[NorthernDancer]

Having made the decision that I am ready to prepare to be received into the Roman Catholic church, I emailed our local priest, explained where I am in my spiritual journey and asked if it was possible for us to meet, so he could guide me. No response.

About a month later, I saw in the parish newsletter that they were showing a series of films in the parish rooms on a Tuesday evening.There was no other information. This time I emailed the parish office and asked a number of questions including what time the sessions would be and whether this was RCIA by any other name. I also explained that I have a pre existing commitment on that evening in alternate weeks and I needed to work out whether I could dovetail the two , if it was appropriate for me to attend.

I received a brief acknowledgement to say that the lady in the office would ask the priest when he was back from his holiday.. This was fairly time critical because the first session was last night. I have heard nothing more.

Is this usual? In bald terms , I had expected more enthusiasm for a potential new recruit , and i'm actually very disappointed.

Catholics, please restore my wobbling faith.

Can't you just go to a service and talk to the priest afterwards ?

How have you come to the decision to join the Catholic church? I would suggest you go to mass and get to know the local community, the lady in the parish office may well be a volunteer. Speak to the priest after mass, there is usually shared refreshments afterwards to break fast and it's a nice way to get to know people.
I must say that if your faith can be shaken so easily maybe you need to spend more time reflecting on what you actually believe in.

i’m not catholic

Anglican vicars are insanely busy. People in the church office are usually volunteers although occasionally someone is paid. (Usually paid badly)

they aren’t going to arrange 1:1 with you, nor are they going to change dates on an announced and publicised event.

the usual way you speak to people in this situation is that you go to the church, usually for a service and speak then.

Have you actually started attending?
Joining a church is not usually something that happens by email.

You start by attending.
You find out about events by listening to the notices at the end of the service.
You get a 1:1 with the priest by going to confession.

The priest will not be spending much time twiddling his thumbs browsing through emails and it will be easy to miss one.

If you want enthusiasm for a new convert, then you’re looking in the wrong place. Catholics do not proselytise. If you want to convert, then no-one is going to chase you up to do it. You don’t need a sit down with Father, just go to Mass, shake his hand afterwards and maybe do RCIA next year.

I'm sorry you've been met with silence at what is such an important point in your journey. I can understand why you're disappointed, particularly when you've taken the step of reaching out and are looking for guidance.

Sadly, I don't think it's unheard of for parish communication to be rather poor. Priests can be stretched very thinly, and the lady in the parish office may well be a part-time volunteer doing her best alongside other commitments. That might explain the delay, although it doesn't make your disappointment any less understandable. Even a brief reply to acknowledge your enquiry and explain when someone could get back to you would have been helpful.

Please don't take this as a reflection of the Church herself, or of how welcome you are. The Church is so much bigger than the shortcomings of any individual parish. You're not a recruit or a number; you're a soul seeking Christ and wanting to enter into the fullness of the faith.

I'd encourage you not to give up just yet. Perhaps try calling the parish office or approaching the priest after Mass, and if you still get nowhere, there's absolutely nothing wrong with contacting another nearby Catholic parish. You deserve to be accompanied and guided through this process.

I'll pray that you find a welcoming parish and that this disappointment doesn't overshadow the faith that's brought you to this point. Please don't let the failings of people put you off the beauty of what you're seeking. ❤️

P.S. there is a Christian mumsnet forum that you might find useful or enjoyable.

This is your best bet. I was a bit taken aback to be told I had to write to the PP and ask to join the RCIA, when I’d already spoken to one of the curates about it. But that was 20 years ago, and it is still the best thing I have ever done.

Are you already going to that church? Do you know the priest? If not, how have you decided it’s right for you to become Catholic? Are you going to another church, for example? It seems an unusual thing to be trying to sort out via email.

In my experience of church going and people starting the RCIA, they’re usually people who’ve already been going to church for a while (in some instances, many years) and speak to the priest in person. Our church hasn’t long started this year’s RCIA and have been saying for weeks building up to it, ‘if anyone would like to sign up or is considering it, please stay after mass to talk to me’ so there have been lots of opportunities for people to do this.

@LauritaEvitamy church is exactly the same. Loads of opportunities to sign up.

I don't have experience with Catholic churches, but plenty with CofE and URC. They all have very informative websites, links to weekly newsletters, details of weekly activities etc Have you checked for something like that?

Former Catholic (now Anglican) here. In the Catholic faith there is an obligation to attend mass weekly. It’s not optional. And you confess if you don’t go. If you’re serious about Catholicism specifically, you need to show up religiously. That’s why no one is giving you a reply. My Irish Catholic family even find any nearby Catholic church when they’re on holiday. You need to show up to be taken seriously. Having said that there’s also the chance you’re in a bad parish where everyone just goes through the motions for a handful of octogenarians. They also exist. Don’t just go by written declarations of what a religion is supposed to be like. See what the followers and leaders are really like in practice. Have you considered Lutheranism or High Church Anglican? They are a bit more flexible. Good luck.

VanillaSpiceCandle has it absolutely right. Catholics take things very cautiously when dealing with potential converts. It's only fair to let people take things quietly and gently, with no pressure. We see conversion as literally lifechanging and not to be rushed into, which is why even when you start RCIA it will be from September until Easter minimum. We don't want a situation where somebody becomes a Catholic, then a few years later lapses when emotions fade and they realise what a commitment it is.

Rather than e mailing go to mass , introduce yourself after the service and speak to the priest. This will demonstrate proactively and a keen interest.

Yes I know what you mean. The course at our church isn’t explained as a conversion course or becoming Catholic course but a chance to explore the possibility, with no obligation to actually do it at the end of the course. I assume other churches are the same.

And you confess if you don’t go

More or less unheard of now, I should think.

Certainly the Catholic Churches I know of do have websites and news letters.

I had a similar experience with the parish I live in and came to the conclusion the admin side wasn’t as efficient as it could be. Understandable, as no doubt relying on volunteers and there’s so many other things they have going on. I notice this year that there is a named contact for enquiries about the course, so maybe communication has improved.
My job in a neighboring family of parishes involves contact with the churches there and their RCIA / Sycamore program is run in a much more accessible way, so I did the course with them instead.
If I hadn’t had the links with the other parish, including attending weekday masses at one of the churches, I would have started by attending Mass at my local parish. I’m sure they would have been very welcoming.
Attendance at every session wasn’t mandatory, but I’m not sure every other week would have been adequate. A different aspect of Faith was explored at every session. Only the Priest or Deacons/organisers will be able to tell you that though. What was mandatory was attendance ‘regularly’ at Sunday Mass or Saturday Vigil and it was commonly accepted that this meant weekly. There were also invitations to ceremonies such as the Rite Of Election at the diocesan cathedral.
We used the Sycamore program, with a book written by Fr Stephen Wang and short films aimed at sparking discussion and contemplation.

I wonder what will happen to the Sycamore programme now Fr Stephen Wang Is bishop of A&B. He won’t have the time any more.

Go to mass. Sit where you feel comfortable- arrive about 10 minutes before if you can.
Afterwards try to find the priest and set up a meeting time or grab an older parishioners and ask if they can help.
Sometimes the priests are spread very thin.

I’m in Ireland, where the average age for a Catholic priest is over 70, and many have come out of retirement because the alternative is no priest at all — the priest of my parents’ parish is 78 and looking after a total of five parishes alone, with occasional help from visiting priests. I doubt he’s keeping up with email, or able to meet one to one with a potential convert.

I wonder why you don’t just talk to your priest after Mass?

Are you attending mass? That is the first step to catholicism. Just sit in the pew every week or even multiple times a week.

if you are attending, you will learn about confirmation classes and just general adult study groups.

The videos and book he wrote can still be used as a resource, I would have thought. He presents the topics but doesn’t have any more involvement than that. He did send us all a personal best wishes though, as one of our priests met him in Rome while we were on the course!

I met him when he came to my parish church which is the cathedral to do some filming. He’s lovely

He is! He made what can be a big life decision (conversion as an adult) so thought-provoking and yet still accessible. I go back to the book sometimes if I’m not sure about something, or need directed meditation on my faith.