Am I a stupid idealist? or do I just have a stupid friend???

[Chandra]

Don't know what I am writing this but someway I feel the need to speak to somebody about it. As a expat I have seen many attitudes that have left me wondering about why people can not be consistent... Can anybody explain me why some immigrants complain so much about racism and exclusion and later form groups that only admit people of their own race? how somebody can defend the gothic's right to be diferent only to tell me she is worried about working with a classmate just because she is fat??? Actually, she spent so much time explaining me how the fatness of this girl in her university clique was going to ruin her studies!!! Dear god, I felt just like walking out, how people can call themselves so humanist when they can discriminate so harshly somebody for the only reason of being fat?

I guess I need to get a life to stop paying attention to this contradictions.... rant over

Speaking as a fattish goth, I'm astonished at your acquaintance's attitude - the goth scene's full of ladies a darn sight bigger than me (I'm a 6' size 18).

I don't know - think some people are just ignorant. Why any normal person would comment on anyone's weight is beyond me - still p*ssed off after friend on phone in tears (she's a big girl & some idiot had said something hurtful to her) - & the other thread on here about being called 'fatty' in the street. And a size 14-16! That's bloody svelte is that!

It's got to be insecurity, hasn't it? Why ELSE would anyone bother worrying about others' appearance?

yes, actually the thing was that she was complaining that the girl was obese and that she would end up ruining their team work for a humanities related course because she would not be able to move fast in the library! when I mentioned that some times obesity is caused by health problems (I mentioned the case of too much Hidrocortisone for asthma in the 1970s) and she said that could only bring more problems to her studies!

I felt as if instead of being talking to a 40 yrs old woman I was talking to a 4 yrs old.

You have a stupid friend I'm afraid chandra

OMG Chandra she sounds very shallow is there no-one else you can talk to on the course?

it riles me when people slag people off for being fat. friedns husband 'cant talk to fat people' but he is an ignorant b alot of the time what makes him think they want to talkk to him, ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrr

I'm sorry, Chandra, but LOL and PSML at the idea of this hideous fat person letting the side down because she can't run fast in the Library! It's not Supermarket Sweep FFS! (I'm a librarian and I don't see many people cantering about between the stacks and the internet terminals)...ahem, life's too short frankly.
You have a seriously stupid friend. I despair of the human race sometimes.

It sounds as though your friend is somewhat lacking in the brains department. I can't help wondering if there is something about this other person that she is actually jealous of which makes her feel this strange need to put her down. My guess is that this larger woman is actually more intelligent than your friend and that your friend feels threatened by this.