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Original poster

Catholic masses

23 replies

smurfgirl · 25/09/2007 17:37

I am getting married in a Catholic church next year but its not my local church, its where I grew up. The priest has said its ine but obviously I need to attend mass where I do live and do my marriage preparation here.

But I have to work Sunday mornings now and my partner works Sundays anyway and so gettig to Sunday morning mass is harder and harder and there are no Saturday evening masses.

There are weekday ones but my mum says that these don't count? So does this mean we have to move Church in order to attend a Saturday evening mass, I really don't want to because I love my church but Sunday mornings are near to impossible

OP posts:

Original poster

smurfgirl · 25/09/2007 17:37

Oh and won't a priest think we a bad for moving church so we can fufil the mass requirements for our wedding.

OP posts:

Aimsmum · 25/09/2007 17:43

Message withdrawn

ladymuck · 25/09/2007 17:44

I think that the idea that missing mass of Sunday (o other holyday of obligation) is a tad old-fashioned even by Catholic standards. Are there any Sunday evening services where you are? If not I would have expected a weekday service to be fine - the priest will mainly be concerned that quite often a homily isn't given during the week. But so long as your parish priest is satisfied that you are a regular communicant that is what matters.

Original poster

smurfgirl · 25/09/2007 18:06

Aimsmum we could go to a weekday service at the church I attend now.

OP posts:

Aimsmum · 25/09/2007 18:16

Message withdrawn

TellusMater · 25/09/2007 18:19

Did you know that you will have to lie to get your licence BTW? Apparently (unless this has changed in the last 7 years), you can only marry in a Catholic church that is your regular place of worship. So legally this is better

Original poster

smurfgirl · 25/09/2007 19:03

Well as both priests agreed to me marrying somewhere else and th church is in my parents parish I am not worried about that side of things!!

OP posts:

TellusMater · 25/09/2007 19:15

No - you have to lie to the registrar when you go and get your licence. Nothing to do with the priests at all. We were in the same situation as you, and when we told the registrar we were getting married in a different place, she raised her eyebrows and told us that it if we worshiped in a different church to that in which we were marrying, our licence would be invalid. I think we're legally married despite our little white lie

fawkeoff · 25/09/2007 19:19

can't you just go to mass on a saturday evening??? lots of people go then that for their own reasons cannot make it on a sunday????

fawkeoff · 25/09/2007 19:20

sorry didnt read the thread properly why does your church not have a saturday evening???

MrsBadger · 25/09/2007 19:32

am not up on exactly how catholic parishes are administered, but is there a Saturday evening mass 'linked' to your own church?

It just occurs to me that lots of the less well-attended Anglican churches near me have listings saying things like 'Holy Communion 10am, Evening Service 6pm at St Nicholas' as they can't get enough people for a seperate evening service there.

Alambil · 25/09/2007 19:42

surely God listens whether you collectively pray on a Friday, Wednesday or Sunday??!

Weekday masses count - tis probably the same service, different day (to cater for weekend-workers perhaps)

MaryBS · 25/09/2007 21:29

Your best bet is a Saturday evening mass, as that "counts" as a Sunday mass.

Unless your priest is very liberal, take it from me, a weekday one won't count!

Alambil · 26/09/2007 09:44

not wishing to be nosey, but.... why don't weekday masses count? (can't fathom that God cares, just seems like beurocracy (sp) to me.. sorry, don't mean to offend - just surprised)

MaryAnnSingleton · 26/09/2007 09:46

of course weekday masses count !!

MaryAnnSingleton · 26/09/2007 09:47

you could supplement it with Benediction too -if they have it - my favourite !

SueBaroo · 26/09/2007 10:33

Yes, they count, but they don't qualify as meeting the obligation to attend mass on the sabbath - Saturday masses squeak in because the church views the sabbath as starting on the Saturday evening.

It doesn't 'matter' in the wider sense, but I think missing mass on days of obligation counts as venial sin and should be confessed.

Original poster

smurfgirl · 26/09/2007 15:23

TellusMater - nobody has said anything to me? From what I have read you can marry outside the parish with the permission of the priest and I have that?? Hmm, I shall have to investigate. Although I wonder if it doesn't matter because my parents live in that Parish??

OP posts:

Original poster

smurfgirl · 26/09/2007 15:25

Oh and I have found another local Catholic church that does a Saturday evening service, I am gutted to have to change churches though and feel like a bit of a fraud changing just for the wedding because otherwise I would just go on a weekday and a sunday when i can.

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 26/09/2007 15:48

Is this a new thing? We've been married 14 years and at the time no-one asked us about church attendance?

MaryBS · 28/09/2007 08:27

It does vary from priest to priest I think.

Smurfgirl, don't worry about feeling a fraud. To some extent its man's laws you are obeying, not God's. Yes we're told to keep the Sabbath day holy (although strictly speaking that would be Saturday, not Sunday!), but God knows what is in your heart, and you are worshipping him to the best of your ability, given you need to work.

As my mother's still RC, I hope you don't mind, but I asked her what would happen if you regularly can't get to church on a Sunday because of work, and there is no Saturday service. I was curious to see what her priest (who's a lovely man) would say.

Oh and my sister married in the church we grew up, not the one she goes to mass in. Her's was complicated by the fact that inadvertently, she'd been going to a church that wasn't her nearest one (she'd only lived there a year), and she needed permission to marry from a priest whose church she didn't go to!

lucyellensmum · 28/09/2007 08:48

My preist, God bless him, is stuck in the dark ages. I love him to bits but he is totally perplexed and worried by the fact that i am an unmarried mother!! Every time he sees me and DP he tries to persuade us to get married. The thing is, my DP is not religious and he doesnt want to get married. I would like to, but not out of church and i dont think it would be right for us to marry in church if DP is only doing it for me and not for his own religeous convictions. We did attend mass regularly but dd is only 2 and we found it really difficult.

Sorry, bit of a hijack.

I think, smurfgirl, in gods eyes, if you are commited and love each other i cannot see how which church you attend, or whether or not you go to mass each week is relevant.

I wish you both the very best

TellusMater · 28/09/2007 14:24

Smurfgirl - it was a civil thing. Nothing to do with the church. We had to go to the registrar in the city where we lived to collect a licence, which we then had to give to our priest (or rather my mum's priest). Nothing to do with the church at all. Bt perhaps they have changed the rules since we got married - they've certainly changed the rules on where you can marry.

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