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Original poster

Christmas, secular or christian?

33 replies

lydialemon · 12/09/2004 23:15

First of all let me just say that I am not personally religious at all, although my children have been christened at DH's request for 'cultural' reasons and I went to C of E schools. I don't disbelieve in god/higher power per se, just not comfortable with structured religion.

I was just curious, after reading the thread on the Christmas Party meet up, how many people celebrate Christams primarily as a religious festival and how many (like me!) see it as more a general celebration now? I've never really considered whether people following different religions find the whole experience distasteful or uncomfortable? Do christians get hacked off with people like me hijacking their festival as an excuse to get together with friends and family?

I'm honestly, honestly not trying to be contentious, I am just really curious how other people approach this time of year. I love christmas, the tree, the big family get together, watching people open their pressies etc I just seem to leave the religious part out....

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 12/09/2004 23:19

A secular Xmas does nicely for me too, LL.

Tortington · 12/09/2004 23:25

i celebrate it as a Christs birthday. Christ isn't brought up all day til xmas dinner - then we say happy birthday to Him.

however. Work is reviewing its holiday policy - you know the compulsary 3 xmas days. its just not fair to non christians to take xmas off if they would rather work and have the 3 days at eid or diwali or to have a longer summer holiday!

SofiaAmes · 12/09/2004 23:53

My dh and I are both adamant atheists, but we LOVE christmas and celebrate it with gusto. We also do chanukah, passover, diwali etc. Basically anything that involves food, fun and presents. (non of those starving, giving things up holidays)

bloss · 13/09/2004 00:16

Message withdrawn

mummyloves · 13/09/2004 00:30

I'm the typical Christian ( I suppose only becuase I was christened into it without my consent but is quite happy with it!) who believes but doesn't go to church (in very small fits and bursts. VERY small). I remember loving Advent, harvest festival and all that from primary school. I suppose until I had DS it was easy for it to go by the wayside apart from in my head. I think you can still go to Ibiza and still be a thoroughly decent person!! As far as Christmas goes I just think whatever your religion, feel free to hijack! It's supposes to be such a lovely time of year, loving and giving and fun and all about looking after each other and caring that it doesn't matter does it? Now I've got DS we have a balance of both. I love santa and elves and presents and chocolate! and family, but I also love telling him the special Christmas story, taking it for what it is and telling him that it's great to be good and kind and helping people. And as he loves birthdays, we don't have a Christmas cake, be have a birthday cake for Jesus. he loves blowing the candles out! (I just make up an odd number of candles and tell him Jesus is like a mummy, he never tells his real age!).

Tortington · 13/09/2004 08:52

mummyloves that was beautiful!

muddaofsuburbia · 13/09/2004 09:08

Like Bloss, before I was a Christian our family always celebrated Christmas, but it was very Santa-centric if you see what I mean.

Now I'm a Christian I like to have a festival to remember when the creator of the universe set foot on this planet and changed my lif upside down as a result. Obviously that was probably in May and the Christians have nicked the day from the pagans, but hey!

I think non-Christians have done a pretty good job so far of sucking out most traces of Jesus from the festival. It was a long search last year to find an advent calendar that didn't count down to Hogmanay! What do Christians do about the whole Santa thing anyway? Not the St Nicholas story, but the whole"Santa gives you pressies, not Mummy and daddy" thing?

We go to church on Christmas Eve for the watchnight service at midnight and on Christmas morning too. Dh wears his kilt at Christmas and New Year - another reason to celebrate!

motherinferior · 13/09/2004 09:09

I'm an atheist, DP put himself down on the census as 'general faith' (????). We were both brought up in a fairly multi-faith way - his parents were Muslim/Christian, mine were agnostics but I was brought up knowing Hindu myths, Christianity, a bit about Buddhism and Islam and Jainism...I've started explaining Christmas to dd1 as a winter festival with the birth of a baby; I find I really like that idea, the birth of a baby in the depths of winter and the feast and the regeneration of the year. Oddly enough it means a lot to me suddenly. (Told DP who said he'd leave me if I turned into a happy-clappy.)

motherinferior · 13/09/2004 09:09

I do quite like a nice midnight service too - haven't been for years, but used to pop into the one in Norwich Cathedral years ago...

Papillon · 13/09/2004 09:15

dh really detests (strong word but true of him) Christmas for both the religious and the commercial reasons. But I like to have a special day still and it is very family focused time for me. So I kept on about it and we decided to call it the festival of lights as there are many beautiful lights then.

Thats our new approach since dd arrived.

aloha · 13/09/2004 10:26

Christmas, as the Christians here agree, predates Christianity in everything but name, indeed, the birth of Christ was grafted onto existing Winter Festivals because early Christians knew that people were not likely to want to give up their traditions. For those reasons, I feel entirely comfortable about celebrating Christmas as a non-religious person. Presents, lights, trees, santa, mulled wine, paper chains, White Christmas and It's A Wonderful Life on the telly - the lot. Winter festivals have existed almost as long as mankind, with fires, lights, logs, green branches, all sorts. And there is certainly nothing specifically Christian about presents!

Original poster
lydialemon · 13/09/2004 10:27

So, do you think the christmas party should be a different sort of party, but still with balloons,crackers and Santa Claus? Or am I being a bit anal and should go and worry about something more important? The important thing is MNers getting together and I suppose I'm a bit worried that people might be put off by the christian link that has no relevance to the actual reason we're doing it IYSWIM.

Actually I think I might be overthinking this far too much.

OP posts:
Cam · 13/09/2004 16:04

We do both, we go to the christmas carol teddy bear service on Christmas Eve and then go home and have supper by candlelight. I always feel a great sense of peace and calm on Christmas Eve. Then Christmas Day and Boxing Day are secular orgies of eating drinking and making merry.

Ameriscot2004 · 26/09/2004 16:01

Christian all the way...

glitterfairy · 26/09/2004 16:24

Ah Aloha you put me in a christmas mood and I so totally agree. Its a wonderful life is one of my fave films. I even do glittery footsteps for santa coming up the stairs towards the kids rooms. I am a sucker for the camp glamour of it all I am afraid but religion no nice story though it is and I love carols.

fisil · 26/09/2004 16:51

I'm christian and so there is a fair bit of church going and christian-ness involved in our Christmas. But what I love most about Christmas is that it is a festival for everyone, and we should do more to make sure that everyone is able to share in the fun of Christmas as much as possible!

glitterfairy · 26/09/2004 17:31

I totally agree as it seems like everyones birthday all rolled into one.

gothicmama · 26/09/2004 17:36

our house - story of christmas - well it is nice about taking in people etc. pagan ritual of greenery and yule log plus santa

glitterfairy · 26/09/2004 17:37

Sounds good GM how are you?

gothicmama · 26/09/2004 17:38

ab fab Gf how are you I'm looking forward to All Saints eve at the mo.

glitterfairy · 26/09/2004 17:43

Good glad you are ok. I am just getting depressed at the whole winter thing it is not my fave time of the year. ANyway have booked sunshine trip for boxing day with Beets and her family so need to concentrate on the fact that there will be sun in the middle of the winter for me this year.

gothicmama · 26/09/2004 17:44

I love winter but I am glad you have some sunshine to look forward to it will help you recharge

aloha · 26/09/2004 18:09

Oooh, very envious. Would love to do that. Lovely christmas, then off to the sun. Bliss. But will be 8 months pregnant so not really a possibility even if we win the lottery...
Had a 'christmassy' moment yesterday taking ds to a cafe and then leaving and finding it nearly dark...

Lonelymum · 26/09/2004 18:42

I went through a religious phase in my youth (converted to Roman Catholicism) and I have to say the best Christmases for me were the ones when it had a religious meaning for me. After years of just being a family-gathering-giving -presents sort of event (still very special) I do find myself yearning for the old days. As my children grow older, I look forward to when they are old enough to stay up late and go to midnight mass because some of my happoest memories ever go back to those masses and then chatting to friends until about 3 in the morning. It was a great feeling, chewing the fat (is that the phrase?) and then waking up on Christmas morning full of goodwill to all men (and some women!)

jodee · 26/09/2004 18:54

Ditto the other Christians who have posted here.

Wrapping paper in the Co-op already, alongside horrible Halloween masks right by the door so ds (4.5) can't miss them. He thinks they are pretty scary so we might be shopping elsewhere for a while.