Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

worth remembering

29 replies

heifer · 22/06/2007 08:47

SATAN'S MEETING: (Read even if you're busy. Very well written.)

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.

In his opening address he said,

"We can't keep people from going to pray."

"We can't keep them from reading their holy books and knowing the truth."

"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their
GOD."

"Once they gain that connection with GOD, our power over them is broken."

"So let them go to their prayers; let them have their covered dish dinners,

BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship
with GOD.."

"This is what I want you to do," said the devil:

"Distract them from gaining hold of their GOD and maintaining that vital
connection throughout their day!"

"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.

"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes
to occupy their minds," he answered.

"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow."

"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work
6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty
lifestyles."

"Keep them from spending time with their children."

"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the
pressures of work!"

"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small
voice."

"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive." To
keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to
it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music
constantly."

"This will jam their minds and break that union with God."

"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers."

"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."

"Invade their driving moments with billboards."

"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs,
sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free
products, services and false hopes.."

"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands
will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become
dissatisfied with their wives. "

"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night."

"Give them headaches too! "

"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to
look elsewhere."

"That will fragment their families quickly!"

"Give them distractions to distract them from teaching their children the
real meaning of life."

"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive."

"Have them return from their recreation exhausted."

"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation.
Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies
instead."

"Keep them busy, busy, busy!"

"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and
small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."

"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power
from GOD."

"Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health
and family for the good of the cause."

"It will work!"

"It will work!"

It was quite a plan!

The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing people everywhere to
get busier and more rushed, going here and there.

Having little time for their God or their families.

Having no time to tell others about the power of GOD to change lives.

I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?

You be the judge!!!!!

Does "BUSY" mean: B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke?

OP posts:
Wisteria · 22/06/2007 15:17

You forgot a line 'spending hours on Mumsnet so no floors get washed or tea gets prepared, so all families starve to death!'

mosschops30 · 22/06/2007 15:21

oh FGS I refuse to think I am working under satan just because I am skinny/work hard/dh works hard/listen to music/watch tv etc etc.

I'm sure God would not wish me to sit on my arse reading the bible all day.

Please go peddle this internet drivel elsewhere

Wisteria · 22/06/2007 15:21

I thought it was a joke!

heifer · 22/06/2007 16:12

Wisteria - don't worry, it was meant as light hearted humour..

mosschops30 - Up yours - I will peddle whatever I wish on MN! (under the MNHQ guidelines of course)...

OP posts:
mosschops30 · 22/06/2007 16:17

ooh now now, looks like you wont be going to heaven anytime with an attitude like that

heifer · 22/06/2007 16:29

actually I believe I behaved extremely saintly after reading your post!

Twas a hell of a lot nicer than what I originally thought....

Seems to me, that you have had a sense of humour byepass....

OP posts:
mosschops30 · 22/06/2007 16:31

oh sorry I didnt realise it was meant to be humour!!!!!!!

heifer · 22/06/2007 16:37

Well Wisteria did!

Was posted in a light hearted humourous way..
although obviously some truth in it! but not meant to be taken to extreme (as you obviously did)...

OP posts:
heifer · 22/06/2007 17:22

Actually MossChops, thinking about it, it is totally irrelevant whether it was meant as humour or not...

Your response was totally unjustified even if I was trying to peddle my beliefs onto you...

OP posts:
Wisteria · 22/06/2007 18:37

Aha! I see Satan has crept in to MN - ROFL
Bless you my children - now say sorry to each other and ten hail mary's apiece xx have a good weekend!

belgo · 22/06/2007 18:42

Yes, I also want to add a line about mumsnet

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 22/06/2007 18:47

Well.. I saw the sense in it AND it made me laugh!

And Mosschops, being skinny is good! It's being too tired, bust and fat to shag your husband that will make him stray. Allegedly!

heifer · 22/06/2007 19:01

Shiny - I'm in trouble then!..

Wisteria - shaln't... [strop]

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 22/06/2007 19:02
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 22/06/2007 19:06

Sorry, meant busy not anything related to busty! I'm sure that's good as well... keep his eyes off those models in the mags on the coffee table!

Wisteria · 22/06/2007 19:23

Now Heifer I shall expect to see you in the confessional bright and early tomorrow for that wicked display of disobedience, flagellation may be required...

heifer · 22/06/2007 19:27

sorry wisteria - no confessions for me (COE me)....

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 22/06/2007 19:28
heifer · 22/06/2007 19:29

think I would like to know a little more about the flagellation though..

would it score me higher points on the are you a slut type thread.. as I need all the points I can get! (mum being a sunday school teacher has badly influenced me)...

OP posts:
heifer · 22/06/2007 19:29

rhubard - what are you like!

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 22/06/2007 19:30
Rhubarb · 22/06/2007 19:31
heifer · 22/06/2007 19:35

lol rhubard - can't be baptised twice (was baptised united reformed church) so sorry, another one bites the dust I'm afraid...

Is this your mission to convert?

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 22/06/2007 19:36

I've just exorcised the CofE demon from you so actually, yes you can be baptised catholic, so nerrr!

Welcome to the true religion!

Now let's prepare you for your first Holy Communion shall we?

heifer · 22/06/2007 19:38

not if I have to wear another naff white dress!

OP posts: