Dd (6) asking lots of qs about death .......please help....

[PrincessD]

Hi There
Im a new mner so hope I am doing this properly. My dd is 6 and last week she asked me if people get put into a hole in the ground when they die and are covered in mud. She seemed quite distressed re creepy crawlies etc so I explained about the body going into a coffin but the soul (heart) goes to be with God in Heaven. She was happy enough with this but now is asking more qs ... what do I say? I don't want to give her nightmares.

Try to be as honest as you can with your answers but keep them to things she can relate to.

There are books available that discuss death and dysing but can;t think of the titles at the mo.

THis is a normal things for kids of this age to be interested in.

Thanks . Will check out some books on the subject, good to know its normal, shes my eldest so nothing to compare to.

I agree you should be as honest as possible. Death is an uncomftorable subject for us all but its even scarrier if you don't understand it as much as you can. See this as an opportunity. Discuss it with her as much as she wants.

My DD is almost 6 and she asked lots of questions when my grandad died a few months ago.

I tried to be honest with her but also tried to keep it simple. For the most part I tried to just answer what she as asking. She would think about what we talked about and come back a few days later with more questions. It was a lot of trial and error though - first she thought maybe people get to heaven on a special bus. Then when she realised they get buried in the ground she was upset because how would they get the bus. So we talked about the difference between their body being buried and their soul going to heaven. We talked a lot about the difference between the bits of you that help you eat and breathe and the bits that make you a special or unique. WE also talked a lot about feelings - about being sad but also about trying to hold onto happy memories.

There were a bunch of threads about this - try searching the archives.

Goodbye Mog is a good book.

You could try taking your dd to a churchyard, they are usually peaceful places with trees and flowers. I take my dcs to play in the churchyard in our village.

We talk about an 'inside person' and an 'outside person'. We also believe in angels and dd1 likes to pray to her angels and have statues of them in her room.

When dd1's friend died we were totally honest with her - that she couldn't play with him or see him any more. She still misses him now over a year later. We found photos helped and she sometimes drew pictures of him. HTH.

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My dd1 isn't scared of dying either, but she is scared of me dying and keeps telling me all teh time that she doesn't want me to die. Then she says that when we die we will be in heaven together and can play together for ever which just breaks me up.