Reawakening

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

So, feel like someone (I believe God) is trying to let me know that what I thought I should be aiming for is not. That other things are more important. That I don't need that particular promotion, it's not the right one for me. Some serendipitous things seem to be occurring along side this. I know most people will just dismiss this but wanted to write it down.

Whether it's a higher force or not just go with how you feel.

Or your inner voice? Instinct ( or our goddess) is of far more value than some male boss overlord.

I don't think of God as gendered myself actually, but there we go.

Many do doctor. And that's why Christianity is so patriarchal. Women are flawed and never good enough to reach the godhead. we will never have women priests because the true nature of the divine is male.

Are you sure it's not outside influences like partner or parents, or your own inner insecurities-maternal guilt, imposter syndrome- talking?

Women often question whether they deserve to progress, and worry how it will impact on other people. And there are often real life people happy to reinforce the questioning.

Nope. Everyone would support me in applying for head of department role, it is assumed by most that I'll go for it. But I don't want it. I want to have the time (and energy) to do school productions and to be an active member of a pastoral team. To support my students properly not just see them as numbers and grades. Something (and I believe someone) is reminding me of this. This is good.
When I started being aware of things in church, women weren't really encouraged to read or be Eucharistic ministers. They couldn't even be altar servers in our diocese. All this has changed. I genuinely believe had it not been for a human man stating that popes were infallible then change would be a heck of a lot quicker.

You think we have gender equality now doctor?

Nope. Didn't say that. It's a work in progress. But there has been progress. Regardless, what I'm currently thinking about has absolutely nothing to do with gender roles. There are other things I feel I should be doing in school, that I would be better at and Head of department would mean I had no time for those things.

Discerning what is the right thing for us can be hard - listening to what God is saying and trying to sort out his voice from the clamour of voices around us.

It sounds to me as if you are being called to do something - something that might take you away from the promotion track, but that might help you be more yourself, more the person you are meant to be.