Can I ask a daft question about Ramadan and fasting please?

[streetdog]

DD is about to move to a school with a very high Muslim population As the kids are 13 to 19 I am guessing most of them will be fasting.

Does it bother your children if someone is eating at lunch? Does it make it harder?

I would like to ask a question too if I may. Basically, it's a fast between 2.45am (I know it varies) and 9.30pm ish. So do you just have a meal at 9.30? I'm assuming you don't set your alarm for 2am to have a bit more? Do you lose weight? Do you eat certain things, or just your normal stuff?

I'm interested to hear the answer to this too.

DD is at an all girls school with a high Muslim population.

She feels guilty for eating / drinking in front of her fasting friends.

My colleague is fasting at the moment.. She says her children are exempt.. They can do it if they want to but it's not enforced.. She gets up in the night for a big meal.. Then walks about to digest it before going back to bed!!!
Also if AF is visiting she's exempt.. Also she doesn't come to lunch with us for the while..

I think all the muslims are busy cooking, they will eat in about an hour and a half!

From DS's best mate. 12 yrs old.

"The first few days of fasting is really hard and it's quite difficult if people are eating round you. After a few days you settle in to it and it gets easier. Just don't talk loads about what your going to eat at break time then lunch time please!"

That is very helpful thank you!

I worked in a school were 70% of the children were Muslim but it was primary and I don't think any of ours fasted so no experience.

Is it before Sunrise and after sunset you can eat and drink?

Also if AF is visiting she's exempt.

Not technically exempt. My Muslim friends dread their periods coming when they're fasting as you're not allowed to fast while on your period but have to make up the requisite number of fast days once you've stopped. This means that you could fast for most of a day then come on in the evening (before dark) and the day's fast would be discounted.

In Muslim countries, many non-Muslims who are not fasting try to be discreet about their daytime meals and not eat in public but it doesn't bother people as such - they don't expect anyone else to be fasting so they're not annoyed by it.

Mostly, the custom is to have an iftar at the break of the fast in the evening - a big occasion where family and friends are invited. And then everyone gets up early and eats again just before the fast starts in the morning.

I feel sorry for Muslims up north when Ramadan falls at this time of year - in the middle of Norway at the moment they have a 20 hour fast and it'll be longer further north.

Oh Fink that is tough

What happens if you're actually north of the Arctic Circle?

Muslims in countries with 24 daylight can follow Mecca timing I think.
Most Muslims are fine with people eating around them.
People break the fast with something light, usually water and a date followed by something like soup. They will eat a big meal a bit later with sweets and fruit.
You're supposed to wake up at suhoor for prayers and people will usually drink and eat a bit then.
Muslims who can't fast (periods, unwell, pregnant etc) can either make up their fast anytime in the year (can save it for winter!) or pay a tithe to the mosque to feed people in need.

Thank you. This is all really interesting actually!

Fasting is harder this year because most of 2016 ramadan days in the UK are before the summer solstice (21st June). Which means sunset is later each day and sunrise is earlier each day so the time within which one can eat shrinks a few minutes either end!
ramadan is very joyful, definitely not the solemnity of Lent. the meals are usually elaborate- some people gain weight because of the Rich food neighbours send food round to each other, knowing so many are engaged in it gives you the resolve to carrry on.and it's often the case one has to talk unsuitable people out of fasting 'you have an exemption FGS, use it!' rather than talking people into fasting.
And No the world shouldn't stop because one is fasting. the kids at your DDs new school who are doing it have to see others eating as they're the ones opting out of eating not others opting in to eating!

STBXH cooks during the day and then sort of roams around and starts warming food up so its all ready on the table for breaking his fast.

He used to have dates and milk and the. Literally plough straight into soup, then a main, then juice and fruit.

He would get up early to eat again before sunrise, and (back when we were happy) if we had had sex he would shower before sunrise as well so he was clean going into the new day.

The questions I have are about women in menopause...
Do they still fast? Even with all the hormones and changes? Cos a women having her period is exempt.

Also, women are allowed to wear gold cos we 'cleanse' our blood supply by having a period so what happens to a woman after menopause? She will no longer 'cleanse' so does she have to stop wearing gold??

I've never heard of the gold-period situation. I read that men don't wear gold as they used to show off with it and be elaborate.

Gold leaches its mineral through the skin and into the blood stream apparently.
Men don't wear it as they don't 'cleanse' their blood supply. Women do,

That's what STBXH and his friends told me anyway!
He never could answer the menopause questions though!

I think that's probably just a superstition from wherever he's from. In my xh's culture men don't wear gold because of the adornment thing. They have very strict delineation between men's and women's things and there is no crossover, full stop.

We've just spent our second Ramadan in Riyadh, which is a very conservative Islamic city.
It's illegal for anyone, whatever their religion, to eat or drink in public between first light (03.30am) and sunset (6.50pm). Most of the shops shut during these hours too, and all restaurants and cafes are shut.
Every single Muslim I know here has been fasting, from age 9 upwards, including those pregnant, ill and on their period. Many of the younger children fast from mid-morning onwards.
The 2000+ mosques in the city had extra long prayers from the speakers following each prayer call. Each evening for the month all the mosques had loud recitation of the Q'ran from 8.15 until 11pm. The last few nights of the month, the recitation went on until 2am, with the next prayer call at 3.30am. Not much sleep!
A fascinating experience.

What happens if you're actually north of the Arctic Circle?

I asked someone this, you either take the time from the nearest city or use the time in Mecca.

Some Muslims use Mecca time anyway.

My Muslim friends don't want others to not eat around them, they want people to carry on as normal.

You are not aloud to fast if you are pregnant or on your period (are you sure they were fasting and u wasnt just assuming they were), when u are pregnant you have to make sure u keep all the nutrients and enough food for the baby so it's not aloud that is like making a newborn baby fast and you just wouldn't, and period u have to be clean to pray or fast and if you are menstruating then you are not clean so you are not aloud to fast or pray, also if you have young children you do not have to fast if you don't want because you may need more energy running around after the toddlers or breastfeeding and if you are traveling far away you can leave it that day as long as you start again the next day and add a extra day on at the end of ramadan.

You have to fast while pregnant unless you have genuine reason to fear harm for you or the baby, and the same while breast feeding. People seem to have different experiences of this. I found I became very weak if I fasted while pregnant but bfing fine. Would be nice if you could leave the fast cos ur running around after kids but don't think you can!

It is up to the pregnant/breastfeeding individual to decide if she feels weel enough to fast and it is obligatory for her to break it if she feels any harm. It is forbidden for a woman with her period or postnatal bleeding to fast.

The gold-period issue is nonsense, there is a lot of cultural ideas out there that have nothing to do with religion. Men are not allowed to wear gold or silk as it is a luxury adornment. I think many scholars said that platinum (or any other metal that is more precious than gold) is also forbidden for men.