new but not new

[SeekingJesus]

I've been going to church for years but have not been much for a couple of years.
Now I am having counselling for some really hard stuff and something that has happened after this started was that I felt compelled to go to church. I've been three times now, three times I've ended up crying.
Yesterday I was at the point of wanting to die. I went to sit in church and cried. I was talking to somebody and one of the things that they said was about having Jesus in my heart. I honestly don't feel I have that, I've not let anybody in let alone God or Jesus but I do think God has been getting me to go to church.
I went this morning and I am going to a service tonight (different church). I don't know where to go with this, how do I let Jesus into my heart?

John 14:12-14 says,

"12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." (KJV)

So you can pray and ask in Jesus' name and if you believe on Jesus, and His works, you can believe your prayer will be granted.

As for what this belief involves ask yourself if you believe in what Jesus stands for, what He said and did, as written in the Bible. If you do, He is in your heart.

How to believe this? Practically, believing in anything means dismissing doubts or not letting doubts overrule your thinking - thus still leaving your mind open to possibilities. Or you can face your doubts head on and examine their plausibility. Whichever you feel most comfortable with.

It sounds like you have experienced some very difficult experiences. I think you need to give yourself time to heal from them. Regarding feelings not everyone feels different immediately, it is often a process which takes time.

I hope you find a place of more calm and peace soon.

Dear SeekingJesus

I am an atheist so perhaps not the best person to give advice on letting Jesus into your heart! But I wanted to let you know that I have been touched by your post and am thinking of you.

The fact that you are going to church is a good sign. It shows that you realise you are worth saving, in a secular as much as a spiritual sense. Churches are often peaceful and uplifting places – I have wept in a church myself and found it healing. So please keep going even if you think you are not feeling the ‘right’ things internally.

I don’t think you should feel bad at all if there is no sense of Jesus being present at the moment. You cannot will yourself into feeling a particular way. Just be gentle with yourself and see what happens.

I also like going for walks in nature to help me feel more connected into the world. Maybe that would be something for you too.

Kind people to talk to about thoughts and feelings can help too. That’s not always easy to arrange, I know, but I do believe very strongly that such people are out there for all of us.

Sending you love, strength and hope for better times,

Outwith x

SeekingJesus- perhaps your answer does not lie in religion.

Many of us know that god does not exist.

Thanks all.
Capsium, from what you said, He is in my heart.
Outwith, country walks are good, I do that often.
Antumba, thanks, but I think that it is.

You're very welcome, *SeekingJesus'.

seeking I have always believed in God, in Jesus being the son of God and in what he stood for but about a year ago I realised I didn't feel the love and presence others talked about. thinking and exploring this led to the conclusion that it was because I didn't know him. I believed in his existence in the same way I believed in the existence of my local butcher no doubts but no love as I didn't know him. So I have spent this last year getting to know him. Through every kind of book about him, through podcasts, sermons, films, discussion, music and prayer. And I feel very differently now to a year ago. He is part of me, today in the Easter Sunday service I felt the love and presence in a way I would never have felt before getting to know him. It has taken time and I would say I still feel at the early stages of my journey but it is a journey I am so glad I started. So I would say take your time, get to know him and be kind to yourself in the meantime. It sounds as if you are having a tough time but there is nothing you can't come back from.

That's a lovely post QoF :)

Hi SeekingJesus. I'm so sorry to hear you've been having a tough time and it's good you're having counselling. It sounds like you've felt a pull towards God in all of this, which you are exploring. That's great. Some people find it really helpful to think in terms of 'letting Jesus into your heart' - that language can embody an opening of ourselves to God, not merely in theory but letting God into our emotions, feelings and thoughts, into the deepest parts of us. that's generally what is meant when people say 'letting Jesus into their heart.' Others find that language less helpful and think more in terms of asking Jesus to be part of their life in all areas - mind, body, spirit.

There's a verse in Revelation that can help. '20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.' Perhaps you can think of opening the door of your life (or heart, if you find that more helpful) and inviting Jesus in to come and eat with you - to share an informal and intimate meal where you can share your deepest thoughts and emotions and difficulties - the bad as well as the good. There is no mechanical way to do this, it's simply a case of making a decision, if you want to do that. To say the words, perhaps - please come in, or to sit and pray quietly. You might not feel in a place you are ready to do this, yet. You might prefer to explore more first, to go along to church more for example or perhaps see if there is someone you can talk to - the vicar, perhaps? Something like an Alpha course could be of help to you to explore the issues around faith a bit more.

It does sound like you already have a belief, and as caps said, that you already have Jesus in your life/heart etc. Some people say they had a head knowledge but went on to find a heart knowledge, like QoF, so perhaps it's this you could pursue. Please feel free to ask any questions here and explore it with the MNers here if you would like to. :)

I have felt a pull towards it, all I want to do is go to church. I've had some conversations with the local vicar, she's been very helpful in encouraging me to explore the idea.
I was at church the other day and sat in my car beforehand and prayed to God to be there and for Jesus to be known to me. The only times I've felt calm recently have been in church or when I've prayed with somebody.