Mindfulness/meditation/ways of coping

[Eleanor04]

Can anyone suggest any exercises - maybe mindfulness - maybe meditation - that may help me right now? I'm feeling overwhelmed with life, in particular with my work. I actually have three jobs - one is full time - and, in their own ways, each one is causing me great difficulties. I'm unsupported (by a horrible coincidence, in all 3 jobs) and frankly I am exhausted. I have to get through things and am kind of coping by throwing myself into my family - listening to music - reading a bit but certainly not sleeping at all well.

Anyway, I am a stranger to mindfulness etc but I don't want to be! I'd like a way of coping during the day at work and of coping with - and even overcoming - the burdens of this and the part-time jobs. One answer is to give up at least one of them but they all involve people I don't want to let down and, actually, the income is necessary right now.

I do pray and have a faith (shaky at times but mostly intact) but sometimes wonder if I'm not being a little ignored! Many thanks for any suggestions.

Hi sorry to hear about all your trouble and Stress. There are some great free guided meditation apps out there that you could try. I find them very relaxing. Might be worth a try or maybe some aromatherapy or carrying some healing crystals. On the crystal front I recommend clear quartz as it is a good all rounder. I hope it gets better for you soon

I'm not surprised you're stressed with three jobs and not getting any support. Is there anything you can do in practical terms to lighten the load or to get some help? Can you start looking at changes you could make in the future?

Mindfulness can certainly help. I always recommend this book (don't be put off by the reference to depression) and this website as good starting points. Mindfulness can really help you, but it takes a bit of commitment in the first few weeks and months to learn the techniques - maybe start small with something like the three minute breathing space meditation on the website, so that learning how to relax doesn't become yet another thing you need to do. The book is a complete programme so you can work through it at your own pace - the cd is really helpful.

Many thanks, Velvet and pineapple - these are great ideas and I'm going to follow them up. I'm about to look at your links, Velvet.
They say that troubles often come in threes - all too true in my case - and I need to cope with at least one of the jobs with equanimity or I'll be completely drained of all energy - and hope. More and more, I think that being able to still the mind is a very, very useful and necessary skill.

Eleanor, I hope your job situation looks brighter soon. Not being supported in your workplace(s) is awful.

Here are some of the things I do to de-stress.

Listen to Guided Meditations

I have an unquiet mind – I find it incredibly difficult to switch off worries. From time to time The Honest Guys on YouTube have come to my rescue with their guided meditations. I know they sound like a dodgy used car dealership but check them out and see what you think.

www.youtube.com/user/TheHonestGuys

Take a Forest Bath

There is a tree-lined path near my house leading down to woodland and a river. I love to walk there and lose myself in the sights and sounds of nature. I’ve only recently discovered that I am practising the art of Shinrin-yoku (forest bathing in Japanese).

If you can find the time at all, try to get out into nature – even a short walk in a town or city park can provide respite from the frantic busy-ness of modern life.

Write a ‘Disgruntled of Mumsnetland’ letter

I have sometimes found it helpful to write down on paper – or type into the computer – an account of the situation that is troubling me as if I’m writing a letter of complaint to an interested party. I try to present my case as accurately and as eloquently as I can. The act of getting it all down seems to stop horribly repetitive half-formed thoughts whirling in the murk of my brain. It seems to allow me to let go of the issue for a while.

In your case, it might also prove practical in the long term to document the problems you are experiencing at work.

I really hope you can find something that works for you. Best wishes for a calmer future.

Although I practice mindfulness too- with great effect- I am goinfg to suggest that this may not be the answer to your problems.

It sounds as if you are having an entirely "normal" reaction to a difficult situation.

I would suggest that you take some time to seriously re-evaluate your situation. Working so much is not good for your health in the long run, I would be looking at some serious changes rather than working out ways of "coping".
X

Dear Eleanor04, you say you are unsupported in all 3 jobs. Time to support yourself in an energetic perspective.

There is only one person who will take control of this for you, and it's you. Working 3 jobs cannot be easy, and if overwhelmed is your operating mode for the majority of the time, you are heading for physical and emotional burnout, not good for you or anyone.

If you are able to identify the difficulties the jobs are causing you - can you detach yourself and look at the situations objectively? What would you say to a friend who was in your circumstance?

Are your workplaces emotionally draining? Are you taking on board other people's 'stuff' as your own? I am willing to bet that you are one of the kindest and most thoughtful people in the place, and just by being yourself, you are picking up on others vibes and these are affecting your body.

So. What to do about this then? One place to start is by taking responsibility for your actions and responses, and ensuring that your boundaries with others - laying your expectations of how you will accept to be treated are made very clear. Having boundaries in place can really assist with the whole emotional tiredness etc

May I mention Qigong? It can serve as a ten minute a day practise, and actually clears and shifts the body from blockages of energetic nature and yucky feelings. There are videos on you tube, that will get you started if you feel like this. The Zen part of the Qigong work is wonderful to allow the mind to become still.

Eleanor, Hug a tree! Let yourself be allowed to get some fresh air. It gives you some brain down time and perspective. Leave your mobile off for a while, get OFF the internet. Do something in your own spare time (if you can) that allows you to be by yourself. This can be processing time for your brain. It helps.

Sometimes when we are overwhelmed we are not holding ourselves in stable emotions- because everything is getting on top of us. Yoga is one way to stretch the body of all tensions, and tense muscles hold trauma in the body.

Doing something you truly love each day, that makes you smile can really go a long way to bringing back some balance. Make this your priority. Yourself. You deserve to maintain a balanced connection with you.

If you can get some meditation space, then you may feel guided to connect with your heartspace. Just make the connection and let yourself be. See what happens.

with love, IB x

I've been looking for some kind of meditation/mindfulness but I am slightly put off by them as they seem to be of a non-Christian faith.
I'd like to try and find some good resources for them which are Christian.
OP, have you come across any?

I hope that you are coping better, no wonder you are so stressed. Sorry to hijack your post.

The 8 weeks mindfulness workbook was recommended to me and I'm currently working through it.

Fearfully what puts you off mindfulness that is non-Christian, and how do you define non-Christian mindfulness?

Not sure if pineapple is still around, but I'd be interested in what healing crystals. Full disclosure - I'm sceptical that such a thing would exist.

I've seen quite a bit that was basically Buddhist, I'd prefer something with a Christian basis.

What's wrong with Buddhism? What would mindfulness with a religious (e.g. Christian) basis look like?

Hmm, perhaps I should have said "god/gods basis" rather than "religious basis"?

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/s/ref=is_box_books?k=Illustrated+happiness+trap

These are what were recommended recently during ACT therapy.

Meditation always sends me to sleep but she did also recommend a couple of apps. I will look for the list she gave us.

Nothing is wrong with Buddhism, just I want something with a Christian basis as I'm a Christian and so I think it's preferable for me. It might not be for anybody else.
Something like this

Sorry, I meant what's wrong with Buddishm-based mindfulness. In what way would it cause conflict with a belief in a god or gods?

I don't know that it would, it's just that I'd prefer something based on Christianity since I (obviously?) read the bible and so I think that's what I'd prefer -something which is from my religion rather than a different one.

I'm not a Buddhist, but I don't believe it's a religion at all, so I wasn't sure how Buddhism-based mindfulness would conflict with a belief in a god or gods.

I don't know either.

Perhaps it's worth not ruling it out then?

Vivacia you might find this interesting.

I don't need to rule it out but it's not what I want - if I couldn't find anything Christian then I'd probably go for it. But if I can kill two birds with one stone and find something to increase my faith and help me to relax then it's a time saver :)

Can you explain why you think I would find it interesting. I don't mean that as rude as it comes across in writing, it's just that you were the one who referred to Buddhism as another religion, and my point all along is that it isn't a religion and most mainstream religious people wouldn't think it in conflict with their faith.

I'm glad you didn't mean it to sound rude :) I just thought it was an interesting article, no ulterior motive or anything, it just seemed interesting.

You can practice mindfulness in a completely secular way. It doesn't have to be Buddhist in any way.

However it is a form of meditation as practised in Buddhism. But that shouldn't conflict with any other faith. And as far as faiths/belief systems/philosophies/ religions go I'd say Buddhism is the least conflicting!

Tiz that's the book that I started Mindfulness with. It's pretty intense.