What is this religion?

[AlexTurnersmicropone]

Our oldest son has been with his girlfriend about 4 years now, they are early 20's. GF's family seem to be getting more religious, Dad reads bible every evening, they believe Ethiopia is some kind of promised land, they're very secretive about it, and very insular, our son asked us a while ago not to tell anyone else about it, DS has been living with them for a few months, we feel hurt because he never wants to spend time with us, he'll shoot by, stop for about 10 minutes and goes, like he does the bare minimum. Girlfriend has never eaten with us, and never socialises with us, like ever. He has now told us he and they are not celebrating Christmas and not to get them anything and he's spending Christmas day with them, we do feel very hurt. He says it's not Rastafari, both parents have Jamaican backgrounds, any clues?

I thought it was Rastafari. Sounds most odd. What kind of religion tells people to keep quiet about it?

I think it sounds like Rastafari but I always get told it isn't. I wish I knew, I feel like they are manipulating him whatever it is, but the more we say the more we drive him away.

I don't understand why thy just cant say what it is. If it isn't Rastafari then maybe its just some little unknown sect, I'm guessing its got links with Christianity if the Dad is reading the Bible?

How annoying for you. Do you know where the family live?

Yes I know exactly where they live, just 2 miles from us, but we've never felt welcome. I don't understand why it's such a secret either.

I have no idea what to suggest, but if I were in your shoes I think I would be visiting them a bit more often, welcome or not. Was everything fine between you until he linked up with this family?

They've been together about 4 years now, but the religion thing has crept up. The split up for about 3/4 months at Christmas last year, then when our son's birthday came up, they, the family, sent a card saying they missed him, which I thought was a bit weird.

In four years the girl has never ever sat down and had a meal with us, four years.

Would you consider going round to the parents and letting them know that you miss your son and wish they would encourage him to go and visit you or that they all come round sometimes?

What does your son say about the lack of contact with you?

I think it would drive him further away. We're going to stay neutral for now and circumspect for now. Yes we've always had a good relationship with him.

When you invite him and GF for a meal how do they excuse not accepting the invitation?
Rasta's celebrate 7th Jan as Christmas so see if any sign of that when time comes.
I think you are right to just maintain a non confrontational relationship with him. Do they go to church anywhere? Could you ask to join them at church to see what it is like?

If we'd cooked a meal at home, he would eat it, she would stay upstairs or sit down on settee and not partake. If we're going out, as we did recently for a meal, an excuse of illness was made at the last minute.
I don't think they go to church, but couldn't be absolutely sure on that, I get the impression it's something they do at home.

Have you sent him a text? Just saying you love and miss him? I guess you may have. Could you tell him this? Not talking won't help either.

He came round this evening and had tea with us, had a really nice hour, we didn't mention Christmas. I always tell him I love him.

I am not an expert on this, but I know that the Ethiopian orthodox church is incredibly ancient but has developed its version of Christianity somewhat in parallel with the rest of the world, with a few different bits about Ethiopia thrown in (possibly led by national identity politics over the years!) So this is what I think of when you mention a version of Christianity centred around Ethiopia. Worth learning some more about, I am sure, if it's important to your son.

Thanks for those suggestions, will do some reading.