My friend is preaching tonight.

[eekihaveadate]

I haven't really got a faith. And I can't go to hear him anyway because I have my DC here and need to pick one up at 7.30 and it's too far away from me and I don't really do church.

I'm frantically praying for him though.

What on earth is going on in my head?

When I didn't have a faith and didn't do church I used to find myself praying and think - what on earth? Why am I doing this? Something about it just felt right, even though it was all wrong and unexpected.

Now I think that it was God tapping on my shoulder -- hey, I'm here. I'm not saying it will be that for you though.

In the meantime I hope your friend's sermon went well, and that you feel at peace with your prayers for him.

niminypiminy that's kind of how I feel. it's complicated. I used to have a faith, a really strong faith, then my life got crap and horrible and I just thought well fuck you God.

And now I'm becoming more and more drawn to the Church and faith and I am resisting.

I think.

Don't know how it went for him yet - he said he'll ring when it's over. He's very nervous. It's his home church and he doesn't usually speak there.

I hope it went well for him. It's a big thing to preach, especially to your home church.

And, well, I basically dragged my feet all the way to church; in the end it was a case of 'enough already, God, I'll stop turning my back on you, ok?' But anyway, whatever you do about church and faith, it will be ok.

niminy that's exactly how I feel. I am literally dragging my feet.

I may have promised if he tells me the time and place when he's next preaching I'll go and listen.

Just as long as the sky doesn't rent asunder and there's not a big God pointy finger and loud booming voice going "begone harlot Jezebel" as soon as I step over the threshold

He thinks it went well. He was very very nervous and felt sick.

He's now home in his trackies eating chocolate cake and having a coffee.

I didn't realise how tense I was until I heard it had gone well!

That's great.

I don't think the sky-rent-asunder-pointy-finger-Jezebel thing will happen

on the sky renting asunder.

I feel like I have come home with him and I'm worried that he'll judge me and that it's all mixed up in my head with turning back to God because of him, not because of God.

Damn and blast.

As the hymn goes, there's a wideness in God's mercy that is wider than the sea.

But, give yourself time. Things can sometimes sort themselves out if you leave them be, and sometimes you can get clearer on things by not thinking about them for a while. If you don't mind, I'll keep you in my prayers tonight.

Thank you

eek I've been there and it can be scary. for you no matter what happens. Thinking of you.

Glad his preaching went well. You talking and listening to God can happen without going to church if you don't feel ready.

I think he'll be incredibly chuffed that him preaching has prompted you to go back to church! Also remember that God is a God of love & forgiveness, not judgypantsness.

LOL

I am seeing him tonight ....

Aw, have a good time. He sounds lovely.

Have a great time tonight but remember the three monotheistic 'religions' are all patriarchal and all invented in the same area, namely an illiterate region. Why didn't this god person appear in China, where at least many people could write? Oh, sorry, they had their gods.

"Look in my eyes, what do you see?
The cult of personality.
I know your anger, I know your dreams,
I've been everything you wanna be,
I'm the cult of personality"

^ That is religion in a 26 year old rock song. Living Colour, if you're interested. The only problem I have with the song is Vernon plays too many notes. Like Mozart did.

Ummmm that area wasn't an illiterate region, at least not by the time Christianity and Islam started. Christianity started in Roman-occupied Palestine, very definitely not illiterate. I'm not sure what literacy has to do with this anyway.

Nice one crescentmoon.

Literacy has no connection to morality or compassion - are literate people supposed to be more human?

Illiterate people are easier to convert though- look at the power of the church in the middle ages - or many other areas of the world where literacy rates are poor.
Controlling the printed word gave the church enormous power over the uneducated masses.

I think the point doctor was making is a common criticism of god's choice of region for propagating the 'true religion'. Why not choose somewhere with the highest percentage of literate adults thereby increasing the number of people to record events. Nowt to do with morality, just sheer common sense.

I agree that these ME countries were not backward. However literacy and education were in the hands of the elite, not the common peasant. Estimates put the figure around 10% literate.

I went to church today for the first time in 6 or 7 years.

The hymns were apt. The sermon was apt. The people were welcoming and I cried.

I'm really glad to hear that you went along, ivory, and that it 'felt right'. If it makes you feel better, I stayed away for nearly 30 years. It still felt right when I went back - like 'coming home' - and I have stayed and, I think, will stay. Good luck...