we put our cat to slleep....

[ukrainianmum]

we had to put our cat to sleep today. Now every memeber of a family crying silently coz we didn''t tell my dd about it .
He has been with us for long 14 years. And my mum had a very special bond with this cat. And she was the one who made the final desicion and actually brought him there.
And she is in terrible state. I mean we all feel sorry but she seems like she cannot cope with it. Any ideas on how to help her? I mean maybe it is better to go and get a kitten right now or shall we stay away from pets disscusion for some time?
I really cannot see her crying all the time and asking same question over and over again "Did we do the right thing? or Did we rush?"
I don't know what to do or to say...

Oh, definitely, exasperated - heaven to me is all my old pets, relations and maybe unlimited chocolate too

Well I used a complete denial technique yesterday. I stayed overnight at my boyfriend's and came straight to work from there, avoiding the morning feeding session.

Not a huge success. Monday is normally a 'night off' from each other (i.e. a me-and-Charlie-night)and I felt a bit like an intruder even though I'd been invited. So now I'm having doubts about the future of our relationship!

Somebody please tell me there is some degree of normality about this. I can barely cope as it is.

It's something that only animal lovers can understand - I think it's because you are taking that power over their lives iykwim. You love them so much that you don't want them to suffer. To be honest I just wish we could do the same for people.

Totally normal - you just need to give yourself time.

FWIW, I think nights off are very healthy in any relationship, so don't have doubts about your boyfriend, especially when you are feeling like this.

This time next week you still won't be feeling great but you will be feeling a lot better than you are today. Honest

Sorry to all those who have recently lost cats

It's a big deal whatever the circumstances. We had to put ours to sleep a few weeks back too, kind of out of the blue although signs had been there for a while that she was not herself, which added a feeling of guilt to our grief.

You treat your cat like family, and therefore when they go you grieve like you do for a family member, a least this was the case for me. It definitely takes time before you can move on at all, but as others have said, it does happen.

A friend who had a cat die in similar circumstances has said I'll feel better by next Monday so since this is also your estimate Bella29 I'm going with that. Roll on next Monday I say!

Mind you, she also said it might pop into my mind for years

Yes fortyplus, it's the complete sense of responsibility that is the killer when it all goes horribly wrong.

What does FWIW mean?

FWIW = for what it's worth!

And yes, it will pop into your mind in the future but it will be less painful and you are more likely to think of the pleasant memories, not the sad ones

Sorry for your loss too, aDad.

Yes, it's the guilt that is the tricky emotion even if they have had the best life in the world it all boils down to those few minutes or hours when they pass away. Or it does at first.

It's a no-win situation really.

There's a glimmer of hope though. I bought my current house with my (then) 2 cats in mind - pedestrian street, quiet back lane and I've always hated it. I've been there 15 years and still haven't come to like the house.

I can sell it now!

Seems like the amnesty is over. Met my mother for lunch and we are back to my weight..............