Do I re-home my cat?

[LazyLinePainterJane]

This might be a bit long, please bear with me.

I have 2 cats, brother and sister, 4 years old. In the last couple of months, one of them has decided that she doesn't want to live with us any more, so it seems.

She went missing about 8 weeks ago and I was devastated. We have had them since they were kittens and she was always "my" cat. I reported her missing on her microchip. Turned out a couple of weeks later that an elderly woman who had recently lost her husband in my street was feeding her and letting her sleep on her bed. I was relieved that she was not dead and accepted that cats go where they choose and that she might come back.

I went to see this woman who felt guilty, like she has stolen my cat but we agreed to "share" her of sorts, I was thinking that she would come back to us and the woman is not really prepared to look after her full time.

Anyway, now what has happened is that there is something wrong with the cat (am taking her to the vets tomorrow morning) and this woman is not prepared to take her to the vets. I am happy to do so, and I would be happy if the cat would come back here, but she doesn't want to be here any more and keeps trying to get back to this woman. I have said to this woman that if she doesn't want to feed her, she should stop letting her in, the cat will look after herself but she does it anyway.

So what the arse do I do? The cat won't stay here, everyone in the area knows she is mine, so if they start feeding her, she is always my responsibility to look after, but we end up in this ridiculous situation where I have random people knocking on my door telling me things that are going on with a cat I never see, I end up going round with a cat carrier and bringing her back again, and again she leaves.

I do not want to lose the cat but the only thing I can think of is to rehome her out of the area in a quiet house (seems to be what she wants) where we don't end up in this preposterous half and half situation. Is there anything I am not thinking of?

Well done if you have read this much crap about a cat!

cant you keep the cat in for a while and see if she becomes more homely again after alot of fuss etc

if not then i would still class her as yours and let the cat come and go as it is in there nature

i would def try the keeping it in for now though get litter tray etc and have as house cat for now and see if she settles

no other advise im afraid but if settles with old lady maybe its the fuss she is after so maybe fuss her more whilst kept in and she may settle more

sorry for rubbish advise but i would hate for you not to have the cat anymore and would hope if made house cat for now she may vcalm down for you and temptation of others foods wont be there to intise her

hmm house cat possibility but would be very tricky to implement. Our other cat would not stand for not being able to go outside and not sure how easy it would be to keep a cat who is desperate to escape inside.

Our cats have always had their territory inside our house, he lives upstairs, she lives downstairs. In this womans house, she sleeps in the middle of the bed so I can totally see why she wants to be there, she is not top cat here.

I think that the issue is the woman and not the cat. She doesn't seem to understand that cats come and go and you cannot control them. She seemed to decide that as my cat was in her garden she was a stray, despite the collar bell and microchip notice tagged round her neck.

The issue is that if I keep her as mine and let her roam, which I would be happy to do, I understand that this is their nature and there would always be food here for her, that she will again be half taken in by other neighbours who then fatten her up (she is twice the size she should be since I last saw her) and return her whenever there is an issue. It's difficult, I am happy to do things like pay to Frontline her, but I never see her, so I end up trawling houses looking for my bleeding cat to pass on the flea treatment!

it is madness!

i have no other advise im afraid if you'd feel happy to see her go then i guess re home her but would be a shame to seperate from her brother

im a big softie so probably not the right person to give advise lol but i guess what you think is best then do it

Oh I don't want to re-home her, I just hate this bizarre situation where she lives at this womans house and I pay for all her healthcare. I wish she would come home

She is in the spare room now, I think I will give it a go keeping her inside for a while, see if I can "reset" her.

thank you.

hope it works bless her maybe she needs to feel important in the home give lots of treats for short while lol you know how us women like to feel important ha ha

good luck xx

It sounds to me like there is a conflict of sorts between your 2 cats - they have obviously never mixed well if they have separate areas of your house.
Maybe your female cat would be happier in the long run if you did rehome her.

I understand that you are prepared to take responsibility for her, which is very admirable, but I'm not sure how effectively you would be able to do that given the level of contact you have with her.

I don't think your cats would be bothered about the fact that they are brother and sister if you did rehome her. They don't seem very close as they are now.

It annoys me when other people take it upon themselves to feed and interfere with someone else's animals, and then the minute any vets fees come into the equation they aren't interested. For all this woman knew your cat could have needed a special diet and could have caused all sorts of problems by feeding her.

Perhaps ask the vet for details of rehomeing organisations? If I were in this situation I think I would be looking very hard at rehoming. But it would perhaps be best if her new home wasn't too local - or the new owners could end up in the same problem.

It's a tricky situation.

Well I took her to the vets today and it looks like she has had an allergic reaction of sorts to something. She has bald raw patches on her body and her hair is falling out in these areas. This woman of course sees fit to keep feeding her but not take her to the vets when her skin falls off

banzooki, they did used to get on, they used to sleep in a shoe box together when they were small enough, just once they hit adulthood they decided they didn't like each other. I agree that it doesn't matter at to brother and sister-ness for rehoming.

I am going to try and keep her in for a few weeks, at least until she is fully healed and I know there is nothing wring with her and then see if she stays here after that. If not, I shall have to re-home her I guess.

Thanks guys.

hope all turns out ok for you both would be a shame to lose her xx hope she feels better soon too

Could you perhaps tell the woman that you took the cat to the vets and it turns out it needs a special diet and could she please stop feeding her. Maybe then the cat won't be so interested and more likely to come home.

Thanks bronze yes I think I will tell her the vet says it is an allergic reaction to some food so she has to stop feeding her, after all she doesn't know what the vet has said.

I did think about getting one of those "don't feed me" collars but of course there are downsides, if she did really go missing i wouldn't want her to starve.

My oldest cat (15) has fecked off to the neighbours for the last year (due to the 2 extra cats and a bouncy dog) however she has a replaced hip (at a cost of £1200 8 years ago) and a special old-cat diet so I went round all the neighbours and posted a letter through requesting not to feed her as she was on a special diet. It worked brilliantly. She comes in every morning and night for food.

She will absolutely come back if you can persuade no fecker to feed her.

I would be happy as anything if my fifteen year old had a snooze in the house but I'm just really grateful to see her twice a day.

They really are chancers (cats that is, not cat stealing pensioners ) aren't they laurie?

Maybe you are right laurie..will look at making some flyers for the neighbourhood.