1 year and still heartbroken

[Sundayisworst]

It’s a year exactly since I lost my beloved cat. I’m holding his ashes and crying. I feel I will never recover from the pain. I miss him so much and he suffered. I’m guilt stricken. I failed him. Life is so so hard. I want him back. I want to re live his last year and not to have let him down.
I don’t know why I’m posting but my heart is broken. My beautiful loyal little boy

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s very easy to look back and feel guilty, but your love for your beautiful boy shines through in your post; I’m sure you made the best decisions you could for him, based on the information you had. He’d have known how loved he
was

Thank you. I loved him so much and I made decisions that failed him. I had a funeral. He was in the chapel of rest. I breathed his last breath with him when he died

So sorry op.
My boy was hit by a car and I was devastated, although the pain has lessened, 6 years on I do still miss him.
I did get a new cat who has helped heal my heart somewhat, but I don’t love her nearly as much as my boy that I miss so much. I think I’ve closed my heart off a little so I don’t ever feel that pain again.

Try to take comfort in the fact he was loved and had a happy life with you, and he felt you hold him as he drifted off and knew he was loved. You didn’t fail him, failing him would be letting him continue on in pain or neglecting him. You let him drift peacefully off whilst giving him comfort. So sorry you are hurting op

I’m so sorry for you too. I don’t think I could have another pet. I feel so heartbroken. Sadly he did suffer. For a whole year. I made so many awful mistakes

your post properly broke my heart.
I’ve never lost a pet but the way you write about him… it’s so full of love. that doesn’t just vanish.
I hope one day the love you feel is louder than the guilt. you were there. that matters.
sending you so much love.

They were mistakes though, that you made. Mistakes. You didn’t know at the time that they were mistakes.

And you don’t know what would have happened if you had made different decisions either. You did what you thought was right at the time.

Thank you. You’re so kind. I have been sleeping the past two nights with his ashes in bed with me. He was a part of me and I am always going to miss him and love him

Thank you. Yes I will always beat myself up but I loved him so much

So sorry its so hard.
I've just posted about my one who died one year today and another 9 months later.