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Original poster

I dislike my cat

26 replies

Sleepingtiger16 · 10/04/2019 21:57

Since having my baby 9 weeks ago I dislike my cat. Before she was doted on and a little spoilt, now I just find her annoying! Tonight she's hid under the cot and our bed because she doesn't want to go out - all I could think when trying to get her out is don't wake the fucking baby. My OH is All 'don't be mean to the cat' - i know it sounds harsh but I couldn't care less, she isn't my priority anymore.
Anyone else feel/felt this way?

OP posts:
MissPollyHadADolly19 · 10/04/2019 22:03

Poor catSad does sound abit harsh on your part tbh but sleep deprivation and having a newborn can make you feel totally different towards something or someone you once loved.

Shocksandboooos · 10/04/2019 22:06

It’s hormones. You will go back to loving her and some days will even prefer her to your absolute lunatic toddler child.

In the mean time, keep the bedroom door closed and try to be kind to her. Remember that her life has changed hugely too and she is trying to get used to something that she might be finding scary and stressful.

brodybear · 10/04/2019 22:08

Have you always put the cat out at night?

mrsm43s · 10/04/2019 22:10

You're feeling hormonal and super over protective of your baby.

It'll wear off soon, and you'll realise that your kitty is adorable:)

Honestly, don't worry!

hawleybits · 10/04/2019 22:11

No. Never. I don't understand how, just because you have a baby- you no longer care about your cat. People like you shouldn't have pets.

How sad for the cat. I suggest rehoming it to someone who will love it.

TheSultanofPingu · 10/04/2019 22:16

I never felt that way luckily. Hopefully your negative feelings towards your cat will change Sad

WhiskersPete · 10/04/2019 22:18

No - I have 6m DD and I still love and care for my cats. You can’t just give up on pets because a baby comes along. That’s really sad. I feel sorry for your cat.

RLOU30 · 10/04/2019 22:19

I felt the opposite. I was heartbroken for my dog when I brought my baby home last summer I thought I had ruined his life and I missed our special times. I actually cried for him the first week! All is good now he loves my son more than me ha!
It’s very early days for you and hormones are a bstard.

RLOU30 · 10/04/2019 22:20

He loves my son more than he loves me not more than I love my son haha just to clear that up!

zigzagzig · 10/04/2019 22:22

The exact same thing happened to me. It is hormones and not having anything left to give at the end of the day, as I've been feeding and cuddling all day. And the cat does make things harder. It's better on days when I've had sleep and time to myself. In the mean time, DH gives the cat extra love.

PP are overreacting, you are annoyed with your cat, not abusing him. People come on here and say they don't like their husbands after a baby arrives and don't get such responses Things will get better.

madcatladyforever · 10/04/2019 22:25

Right so another one who just ditches the cat as soon as a baby comes along. You don't deserve her. Take her to a shelter so she can find a decent owner and don't get any more pets. They are a lifetimes responsibility not just some cuddly toys to be chucked away when you get bored with her.

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 10/04/2019 22:28

I often dislike my cat a lot.
Usually around 1am when they yowl to come in and then stand a foot from the door without coming in.
Or when she yowls for food, I put food down, she sniffs, wanders off and yowls for food some more.

Most of the time shes okay tho.

VashtaNerada · 10/04/2019 22:29

You’re only nine weeks in! Give it time. As the baby grows up you’ll see how good it is to have a pet in the house with a child.

Woolly17 · 10/04/2019 22:31

It's a phase, your cat will settle down. When DD was very little the cats got super clingy and sometimes I was covered in baby and cats - and I'll admit it felt a bit like my space was being crowded. However, eventually you'll all settle into a new routine and you'll remember why you still quite like the little lunatic (talking about the cat here).

A couple of months in things started to get a bit better. My boycat used to keep me company when I breast fed (just snuggled up against me on one side - tolerating the odd kick from my daughter). The fatcat (a girl) will always come for a snuggle and purr once DD is in bed. The real issue now is how to get them all (DD & cats) to leave me alone when I go to the loo - it's really hard to juggle 1 toddler on one knee, 1 cat on the other and 1 cat trying to drape themselves across your shoulders while you have a pee.

Apoiads · 10/04/2019 22:32

Of course a baby is going to come higher on the pecking order than a cat!
Let your DH be kind to the cat, since he's so concerned, while you can focus on the baby.

Apoiads · 10/04/2019 22:35

You can't be all things to all people/cats.

Your sole focus right now needs to be the baby. I would certainly forgive you for saying 'get that damned cat out of the room!'

Original poster
Sleepingtiger16 · 11/04/2019 04:06

Thank you for all the kind UNDERSTANDING comments! Last night she annoyed the hell out of me as she went under our bed where baby's cot is so I'm wedged between cot and bed trying to get her out. Needless to say I got stuck and we'd just got baby off to sleep!!! I did say to OH just pick her up to put her out but no, he wanted to just shake her treats (which usually works but she was ignoring them, she's getting wiley).

Yes, she's usually in all day and out at night catting about!

I'm hardly abusing her, she's being fed and watered and I still fuss her sometimes. I just don't have the same 'devoted' feelings as I once did - there's no way she will be re-homed jeez!! And to those saying I shouldn't have pets, fuck off!

It's exactly that, I have no extra to give as I'm so busy with baby. I've said the same to my OH about him fussing her more - does he heck!

Yes the yowling and scratching does my head in, especially when the second she's in she wants to go back out!!

I was just interested to know if anyone else had found themselves in a similar situation ☺️

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleepingtiger16 · 11/04/2019 04:07

@zigzagzig - YES, and thank you!! Exactly how I feel Star

OP posts:
Poppins2016 · 11/04/2019 04:21

Definitely hormones. I got home from hospital and my cats looked so... feline. Grin Before, they were my babies whereas after having my DS, he is my baby and is my first priority.
For the first 3 months or so I didn't really 'have time' (beyond feeding), the physical lap space or the emotional space for the cats and my DH had to take over fussing them! I tried to ensure that I made time to give them attention (so they wouldn't feel pushed out - one of them in particular is very bonded to me), but I had to really actively think about it.

I can happily report that now DS is 6 months old, things are back to normal... The cats are fussed over, they enjoy my lap (often sharing with DS) and I instinctively give them attention as before. They also (thankfully) have accepted DS and actively request strokes from him, which is exceptionally cute and endearing.

Poppins2016 · 11/04/2019 04:27

I should add (for the benefit of some of the posters above)... I didn't stop caring for my cats. I simply had a shift of focus! Completely natural. In fact, my mother described this feeling (to an extent) with her children! And finding someone (or an animal) annoying doesn't mean you don't love them...

Poppins2016 · 11/04/2019 04:33

The real issue now is how to get them all (DD & cats) to leave me alone when I go to the loo - it's really hard to juggle 1 toddler on one knee, 1 cat on the other and 1 cat trying to drape themselves across your shoulders while you have a pee.

Oh no, I'm doomed... Two out of my three cats try to follow me into the loo... (I admit that they're often allowed to succeed)! I hadn't even considered the child aspect when DS is older!

SleepingSloth · 11/04/2019 04:49

Poor cat. She has a new baby to get used to, new smells, new things and her owner who she loves is now acting differently towards her. Try to imagine how she feels.

I know having a new baby can be very overwhelming but your cat is part of your family too. I think its normal to feel you don't have time but you have to find time, and cats don't really require much. Also your child will most likely love your cat when she is older.

The cat may not be your first priority, but you signed up to look after her and she deserves to be looked after and fussed, she's relies on you. Make time. I say that as someone who had very difficult births that took months to recover from and babies that didn't sleep well. We had 2 cats at the time our children were babies, life was busy, we were still kind to our cats.

exWifebeginsat40 · 11/04/2019 05:08

in fairness, your cat doesn’t like you either.

BloodyDisgrace · 11/04/2019 15:25

I feel for the cat. Hopefully she might find a better owner one day. You know, when they are pissed off they leave.

Woolly17 · 12/04/2019 15:06

@Poppins2016 I turn the telly on (toddler) and Scatter treats on the kitchen floor (cats) if I desperately need 5mins

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