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Pets

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Original poster

my cat died at the weekend how do i tell

18 replies

hitchcock · 09/01/2007 22:33

how do i tell my 3 yr ds that my cat has died?? iam so upset he was old at 16 but was a shocl to find him. but i dont know how to tell ds whats happened

OP posts:

misspinkcat · 09/01/2007 22:33

Has he not noticed?

Original poster

hitchcock · 09/01/2007 22:36

yeah hes noticed but then our other cat there so he just thinks connor is out or asleep some where

OP posts:

misspinkcat · 09/01/2007 22:36

Well don't tell him then.

Original poster

hitchcock · 09/01/2007 22:37

but i dont know what to say when he finally does ask

OP posts:

pointydog · 09/01/2007 22:49

Tell him the cat was very old and it has died.

What have you done with the body?

elastamum · 09/01/2007 22:56

You might be surprised be their reaction. When our 17 year old much loved cat died I told my 2 boys 4 and 6 at the time and they didnt bat an eyelid, one said 'I know that mummy you said she was very ill' the other said 'can we have a dog now?' A few weeks later my DS2 found the box with the cats ashes in the garage. He asked my DH what it was and my DH told him it was the cats ashes. He then aksed to look in the box and said ' is that really the cat?, if I pour water on it will it turn back into a cat?' We now have a puppy asleep at my feet and everyone seems content once more.

pointydog · 09/01/2007 22:59

Yeah, some kids wouldn't give a monkey's chuff that a pet's died.

SOm e will have loads of questions but will be happy to believe whatever you tell them.

Original poster

hitchcock · 10/01/2007 00:08

we buried him next to his sister who died last dec 05 ds was to young them to ask any q as he wasn't really talking then

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 10/01/2007 00:16

Don't just tell him that the cat got old and walked away one day and didn't come back.

I was 11 before I worked out that the cat I used to play with who lived next door to my grandparents house had actually died and

BabyFox · 10/01/2007 22:06

be honest and upfront, explain your feeling sad, but children need to know what happens in life.

there are some great books out there for children on this topic.

I lost a cat 5 years ago and when ds (now 4) asked at 3 ' whos that in a photo' I told him and said he died as he wasn't looking when he crossed the road (sorry) ds has always been so aware when crossing the roads since (bless)

MordecaiAliVanAllenOShea · 10/01/2007 22:09

When I told my ds (age 4 then) that our cat had died he yelled ou to dd (age 3 then)"dd the cat's dead!". She yelled back "That's good we can get a dog now!". I had been building up all day to tell them!

RustyBear · 10/01/2007 22:33

this is a good book

nothercules · 10/01/2007 22:34

pmsl at mords post

Spidermama · 10/01/2007 22:53

There's a Mog story in which Mog (a cat) dies. It's very good.

There's also a Shirley Hughes story called The Surprise Party, which is about an old cat which dies.

These are both great.

Sorry to hear about your cat. I think three year olds are really good at dealing with this sort of thing. Better than we are often. It's fine to let him see you cry a bit too. Remember he'll also see you recover and it's all part of life. All good experience.

All the best. x

nomoremagnolia · 10/01/2007 22:59

hi, sorry to hear about your cat. the mog book's called goodbye mog, but it does(from memory)involve new kittens, so be prepared for q's if you're not planning on a new kitten. there are quite a few picture books that deal with cats dying - take a look at your local library/bookshop. the only one that comes to mind apart from mog is called the sunshine cat (but this one made me cry!)

Bowbelles · 10/01/2007 23:15

sorry no advice as never had pets myself. Just wanted to say sorry really [hug]

pointydog · 10/01/2007 23:40

Re body - just thought he could have watched the burial.

Original poster

hitchcock · 12/01/2007 13:15

a big thank you to you all xxxx ds asked yesterday where connor had gone and i told him that he'd gone on a special holiday and that he was not coming back , he left some flowers where we buried connor and we said goodbye... think he understands as when the other cat came home he said "no connor now just hitch" so i think he understands. morde i did laugh (sorry about your story as i think thats what might happen soon here as ds wants a hamster!!!!
take care all of you and thanks for all your suggestions, do have a book now that deals with pet death its about a dog but it is nice will read it later when ds comes home form playschool

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