Could someone advise on this email -needs to get sent today!

[DidEinsteinsMum]

Ok, kind head of dep in a school arranged and permitted 3 days of school observations that were the conditional bit for an offer of a place on a PCGE course. Need writen confirmation which he has verbally agrred to do if i email him details and what it needs to say(?). This is thought said email but need it checking.

Dear Mr ...,

Thankyou for the time and effort that permitted my informative and enjoyable 3 days within your department and school.

Would it be possible for you to confirm to the admission department that I have observed secondary school science lessons for 3 days in meeting with their requirements. Maybe including the program of observations followed (?))

The contact details of the admission department are
Email: xxxx@xxxx
Address: Admissions Office,
xxxxxx building
xxxxxxxxx
postcode.

Thank you all your help.

Miss XXXXX

Okay i hate this email but really not sure what I should actually be putting in it or how to construct it . Help pretty please

Should I ask for a copy to give to specific tutor when i go to register or can i rely on admin dep to pass on info?

Thank you is two words, for a start!

Add in 'in writing' after 'Would it be possible for you to confirm'. If you're worried about the question mark in a long sentence, change the sentence to 'I would be very grateful if you could...'.

The last bit in brackets of that para could read 'I understand that the confirmation needs to include the programme of observations followed' (programme is the accepted English spelling I think!).

And re. the copy - I have no idea! It's more work for him to post you a copy too.

I would change it:

Thank you for arranging my observations in your school, which I found to be very informative and enjoyable.

I would be grateful if you could provide confirmation to the admissions department that I have indeed completed three days of observations in Secondary school science lessons, which included (insert programme of observations), as this is a part of the entrance requirements. The contacts details are:

Once again, thank you for all your help, I do appreciate it very much.

Best Regards

Moffat's email is fab - except I would add 'written confirmation' just to make it absolutely clear that he can't just ring them up!

thanks flamingo - yes the "written" part is essential.

Thank you. Thats brilliant. I knew my brain wasn't working this morning. Not used to 6am starts (night-time potty training early but chuffed). Will get done after school drop-off speaking of which i hear chaos.
Thank you again.

moffat's e-mail is fine except I'm not keen on the last sentence. 'I do appreciate all your help' would suffice as you have already said thank you, and I prefer best wishes but maybe that's me.

Sign off with your name, Einstein, not Miss anything. Not that your average secondary school HoD is going to be bothered ( apart from pedants like me )

Thank you campion
This is why is it posted in pedants' corner. I need someone to suitable kick me in the right direction