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Pedants' corner

“Please may you…?”

43 replies

PopcornPoppingInAPan · 11/03/2024 12:17

I hear this an increasing amount at work (big professional services co in London) exclusively from younger folk.

eg “Please may you send me the documents you need printing.” or “Please may you check the final point with Dan?” (Might or might not end with a question mark).

This is wrong isn’t it?! I always thought “Please may I…” was a polite way to ask for permission to do something.

But you can’t ask another person for permission that they do something.

It should be “Please can/could/would you….” shouldn’t it? (Better pedants than me will I’m sure be along soon to confirm which of those is correct and when).

I find it really grating!

OP posts:
SpringSprungALeak · 11/03/2024 12:20

I'd have to say something!

RockaLock · 11/03/2024 12:21

I also find that a bit grating.

I think "would you" rather than "can/could you", though, as someone can always do something, but whether they will or not is another matter!

PopcornPoppingInAPan · 11/03/2024 12:27

SpringSprungALeak · 11/03/2024 12:20

I'd have to say something!

I have a very bright junior colleague who I will point it out to next time I see it.

The other culprits are couple of junior PAs who aren’t the sharpest, and I imagine would look at me blankly if I tried to explain…

OP posts:
PTSDBarbiegirl · 11/03/2024 12:31

I'd have thought, 'please will you' or 'may I ask you to'. There are some odd turns of phrase around, 'for myself it's... it's yourself I'm thinking of..' aaaarrrggghhhhh!!!!

Changingplace · 11/03/2024 12:32

Ugh yeah that grates, it’s similar to the obsession people have with incorrectly using ‘myself’, it’s as if they think it’s more formal but it’s just wrong!

Clearinguptheclutter · 11/03/2024 12:39

Oof. Not heard that and not sure if it’s wrong but it certainly sounds it

Chelsea26 · 11/03/2024 12:46

Grates on me too.

I think would is grammatically correct.

Please would you? - Will you do it?
Please can you? - Are you capable of doing it?
Please may you? - Are you allowed to do it? But it doesn’t work at all!

I remember having a teacher in school who, if asked, “Can I go to the toilet?” Would reply, “I certainly hope so!”

upinaballoon · 11/03/2024 17:38

I wasn't quite sure that I heard clearly but I think someone at the optician's said, "May you sit there until we call you." Recent.

Rainydayinlondon · 11/03/2024 17:39

It grates on me too… I wonder if they think it’s more polite??

OldMrsHempstock · 11/03/2024 17:40

Yes, a young colleague from a very privileged background says this - makes me wonder what they teach at these expensive schools!

Chewbecca · 12/03/2024 15:32

Chelsea26 · 11/03/2024 12:46

Grates on me too.

I think would is grammatically correct.

Please would you? - Will you do it?
Please can you? - Are you capable of doing it?
Please may you? - Are you allowed to do it? But it doesn’t work at all!

I remember having a teacher in school who, if asked, “Can I go to the toilet?” Would reply, “I certainly hope so!”

I wonder if your teacher was my father!
In response to "can I go to the toilet please sir", he would always answer "well, I am sure you can go to the toilet but I think what you need to know is whether you may go to the toilet or not".

DillDanding · 12/03/2024 15:37

My son used to say that. But he was about 3 at the time!

Chelsea26 · 12/03/2024 22:26

Chewbecca · 12/03/2024 15:32

I wonder if your teacher was my father!
In response to "can I go to the toilet please sir", he would always answer "well, I am sure you can go to the toilet but I think what you need to know is whether you may go to the toilet or not".

Edited

Aww that would have been nice wouldn’t it? But no, my teacher was a lady - Mrs O’Rielly!

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 14/03/2024 13:35

A supplier used to email me with 'please may you confirm receipt of this invoice.' I was so infuriated by it that my mental response was always 'no I may not' (and if you want a receipt confirmation set that up).

ASighMadeOfStone · 14/03/2024 13:36

I'd agree that they think it's more polite, as when you're asking permission, the order of formality/politeness is: can-could-may-might.

But when asking someone else to do something you can only use can-could (might is also technically possible, but very very archaic)

alwayslemons · 19/04/2024 14:28

It’s definitely a new thing… I first heard it when a young woman I was working with was directing people for an event. She obviously believed it to be correct and polite and it really bothered me, but I thought it was just her. Now it’s everywhere and used by people quite high up at work in professional emails. Drives me nuts. Where did they get this from?!

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/04/2024 15:52

alwayslemons · 19/04/2024 14:28

It’s definitely a new thing… I first heard it when a young woman I was working with was directing people for an event. She obviously believed it to be correct and polite and it really bothered me, but I thought it was just her. Now it’s everywhere and used by people quite high up at work in professional emails. Drives me nuts. Where did they get this from?!

Same place as they get the myself/yourself, I imagine - they hear everyone else using it and assume it's correct.

BlueTongueSkink · 19/04/2024 15:54

I've been seeing this at work recently too, also from younger colleagues. Agree they think it's more polite than 'please can you....'
I always want to reply and correct them (but haven't yet!)

alwayslemons · 19/04/2024 16:40

BlueTongueSkink · 19/04/2024 15:54

I've been seeing this at work recently too, also from younger colleagues. Agree they think it's more polite than 'please can you....'
I always want to reply and correct them (but haven't yet!)

I’d feel rude correcting them tbh, I don’t know why.

Westfacing · 19/04/2024 16:50

I hear this an increasing amount at work (big professional services co in London) exclusively from younger folk.

Increasing amount?

Better pedants than me

Than me?

Best not to criticise those younger folk in your office - it's a minefield!

renthead · 19/04/2024 17:28

What the hell is wrong with the word "could"? I agree that people seem incapable of using it correctly, if at all!

Snooperdoop · 19/04/2024 17:31

Chelsea26 · 11/03/2024 12:46

Grates on me too.

I think would is grammatically correct.

Please would you? - Will you do it?
Please can you? - Are you capable of doing it?
Please may you? - Are you allowed to do it? But it doesn’t work at all!

I remember having a teacher in school who, if asked, “Can I go to the toilet?” Would reply, “I certainly hope so!”

We had "you can, but you mayn't".

MatildasRevenge · 19/04/2024 18:07

DD's school actively taught this as polite speech. I correct my children frequently (though they're losing it now...), as it drives me up the wall. I suspect that I'd auto correct an adult without thinking by mistake... Thankfully the school I work in does not teach it as correct, or I'd go mad. There, I just correct children to 'may I,' rather than 'can I.'

I hear it quite a bit now, though I can't remember when it started. Definitely remember DN being taught it at least 8 years ago though, as I remember correcting her and arguing her teacher was wrong, too.

moonshinepoursthroughmywindow · 25/04/2024 21:07

I used to be a teaching assistant and have heard children say this a few times, but not adults. Possibly some of their teaching assistants didn't explain their mistake to them like I did!

DeleteIfNotAloud · 25/04/2024 21:11

Stacey Dooley used to say this when she presented Glow Up and it was really irritating!

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