What is the correct form for accepting and RSVP-ing if there are two parties at the same time?

[bran]

DS is in a class of only 12 and two children are having a party at the same time (different locations obviously). Fortunately as it it's the Sunday before they go back after half term so we will be away anyway and can't go to either. But what's the usual form, do you accept the invitation that you get first, or the the party for the child that your child likes best? And if your child is going to one party do you RSVP to the other just that your child can't go, or do you say that they are going to the other party? What do you do if you have already accepted one but then get another invitation that your child would prefer, obviously you can't really back out of the first but would it be ok to go to the first for half an hour and then go on to the second?

I would just go to the party that my child preferred.
I wouldnt mentiom the fact that I was going to another childs party, as that might make them feel preferred, but if i had a "better" reason, say a family event I would mention it.

I think that if you have accepted one party then you cant really turn it down to go to a second one, and I wouldnt leave one early to go to another one, though I might feel OK turning up about 1/2 hour late to a party if that was how the timings worked out.

Thats my opinion anyway

If it's only a class of 12 chances are that both families will realise soon enough that their parties are clashing.

If both invites come together, or you get the second one before you've replied to the first, I can't see any problem with choosing the accept the one that you prefer.

Definitely don't accept one and then change your mind because you prefer the other one. That's really bad manners.

And IMO I would only do half of one and half of the other if I'd discussed it with the parents hosting the parties. It would be very rude otherwise to suddenly leave half way through or arrive half way through.

I think in this case i would tell the parents. I would say simply Xs party is on at the same time and that my ds and X are very close and have been talking about it. Otherwise you might have the same problem every year until they leave to go to big school!

I'm pretty sure they already know that they are clashing BIAW, but I suspect there's nothing they can do about it as they probably booked the venues weeks ago and can't change.

I feel a bit sorry for the little girl because she's one of 4 new children (it's reception class) whereas the little boy was in pre-school at the same school and so has known most of the class for much longer, plus his invitation was given out a couple of days before hers so I imagine most of the class will be going to his party.

I think you're right W&C, if I remember next year I'll make sure that I don't accept an invite to the girl's party until I know when the boy's party will be as DS would be very upset if he couldn't go to the boy's party, they get on very well together. (That's if we're still here next year, we might have moved by then.)