Can I put 'please RSVP by X date' on DD1's year 1 class invite ...

[Snowstorm]

... or is that just too, too anal for words and will people just ignore it anyway?!!!

Term starts 3rd September, her party is going to be on 28th September and I was thinking about distributing the invites to her class (it's going to be at home and it's the first time we've invited a whole class, usually it's been small groups of friends from various places brought together) but putting on the invite 'Please RSVP by 12th September'.

Does that seem all right? I just figured that those people who hadn't got back to me in a week and a half would probably need a prod anyway and I want to find out asap who can't come so that I can invite some of the other reception class IF DD1 wants them.

Would appreciate your thoughts.
TIA

i think that is a good idea TBH

Yes you can put that, but I guarantee 90 % of the class will ignore it!

It seems to be de rigeur these days NOT to reply to invitations which I think is bloody rude!

I did for dd, and I didn't mind getting a few "don't worry we're going to reply by the deadline" narky comments. Everyone replied by the deadline, so it was fine.

I do.

one of ds2s friends specified that party bags would only be given out to those who rsvped. you would not believe the amount he badgered me, even after i had done it! so if you want people to respond its a great way to get the pester power going

i put it on, it did work

do include an e-mail address and mobile no. and put "RSVP: phone/text" for text RSVPs - i know i always reply far faster that way. Making a phone call i always seem to be trying to find a "good time". silly but true.

Thanks everyone - I was going to put my mobile number (for texts) and my home number (because then they've got the party contact number in case they need it too). I wasn't going to add my email address because it was beginning to look like a business card rather than an inviation

I love, LOVE, LOVE the idea of putting 'RSVP or no party bag' on the invitation but I don't think I've got the nerve to do that!

The other thing that would be good to write would be 'RSVP by 12th September or don't even think about turning up' ... but in a succinct and better phrased way of course!

I've heard from other parents that quite a few don't respond and then some do say yes but just don't turn up (no phone call or anything) ... it makes me want to go a bit crazy and start shouting as I think it is so INCREDIBLY rude.

Am still smiling about the party bag one!

I would expect an RSPV date on an invite, most have them here.

i agree... i have dd's party in hols have given out 20 invites and only 6 replies... 2 days left at school...

i hope no one turns up who i dont know isnt coming.....
but i expect they will maybe i will just act surprised and just give them cake to take home

I did that and almost everyone ignored it. My RSVP date was the Monday before a Saturday party because the internet shop here has to be done on a Tuesday if I am going to get a Friday delivery slot.

The day after the RSVP date I rang everyone I had numbers for (not all class on class contact list) and said Did your little darling forget to give you the invite to DS1's party? and that let them pretend it was the first they'd heard of it.

I do think it's rude not to reply and I LOVE the idea about party bags - won't work in reception but as soon as they can read I'm there!

I do and I always put the RSVP date a few weeks before I need to know so I get plenty of notice and can chase up the ones who ignore it

i did on my ds1 as his is next week so i needed the rsvp before the end of school. I still had to chase some though and i also gave out reminders to those who i couldnt find at home time - and never recieved a reply. I also asked for mobile numbers so that i can send a text a few days before the party saying how much ds1 is looking forward to seeing them at his party - i have a fear that hardly anyone will turn up as they will have forgotten

It's such a nightmare - why can't people just let you know - even a "we're not sure what our plans are but will let you know nearer the time" would be better than ignoring it.

I've also noticed it's the same ones who don't reply or who don't turn up - so I don't invite those ones anymore (they don't seem to go to other parties either - what's that all about?)

Yes, completely fine.

Actually as an invitee I quite like reply deadlines, as it means it tells me how long I've got to sort out anything which might conflict. As otherwise there is sometimes a feeling that you are meant to RSVP Then And There.

Oh kormachameleon how rude was that - have these people got such busy lives they can't find time for a kids birthday party. You'd think they would be grateful that there kids would be entertained for a couple of hours.

Don't take it personaly though - it always happens.

I haven't once not replied usually the night we get the invite - does that make me a desperate freak?