Not invited to friend's party

[MaryC1234]

AlBU for feeling extremely hurt? A friend of mines husband had a milestone birthday party a few weeks ago. She invited lots of her friends. My husband is also friendly with her husband. We had actually bumped into them at a few events the week before the party so they had ample opportunity to invite us. And it was a big venue so numbers weren't an issue. I really thought we were good friends. We have invited them both to parties and drinks we have hosted. Our DD was even invited as she is friends with their children. The woman bizarrely messaged me the day of the party suggesting we met up for a walk or coffee the following week. Several people asked had l gone to the party because they knew we were friends with the couple. I can't get over the hurt and humiliation l feel. It was such a deliberate snub. It's actually affecting my mental health.

They arent your friends

Did your dd go?

I'd be very upset about this, too.
However I am not sure how you can raise this with them without looking a bit unhinged.

Did your daughter go to the party?

How did the invites go out? If it was a very large event, could they have somehow lost track and thought they had invited you? Seems very odd to have invited your DD without you, so I’m wondering whether they assumed you were coming?

I think sadly its just a lesson that you weren't as good friends as you thought. I would just distance myself and let it just be keeping friendly for the kids

I had something similar. I immediately ended the friendship.

It sounds like they thought they had invited you? Seeing as she asked you for a walk, I think I’d go and bring it up

Yes my DD went. They enjoyed it. And told me who was there!

No l definitely wasn't invited. I had bumped into the husband the day before the party and wished him a happy birthday. He said if we were going to be around to come to the party. But that was because l put him on the spot. I think the next day she was maybe embarrassed so asked me go for a walk or coffee. That or she was afraid we'd turned up at the party. Which we wouldn't have dreamt of doing.

Urgh (edited the autocorrect to urge!)

I would turn down the offer of meeting for coffee and just back out of it

No. We absolutely weren't invited. The very half hearted invite the night before doesn't really count.

How absolutely bizarre. Did you reply about the coffee? I’d not bother.

I would just cut them off.

I didn't reply re the coffee. I will cut them off. I actually feel better having posted this. Thanks everyone.

The friendship between you is all on your side, you’re obviously not considered to be close friends by them. It’s hurtful to realise that people don’t like you as much as you like them.

I know people will come on here and say you are an adult and should rise above this and people can invite who they want to parties etc etc but these things are very hurtful when they happen . They kind pull the rug out from under you and leave you confused about friendships and wondering if you’ve totally misjudged situations.

Absolutely. I feel sort of shell shocked. I think there is no age limit on having our feelings hurt, unfortunately!

Did no one at the party ask your DD where you were? If so, what did she say to them?

I don't think anyone asked DD while at the party but she also thought it was extremely odd that we weren't invited as she assumed we were friends also!