Upset and bothered.

[JollyRoseSheep]

My husband and i went to our nieces wedding and my husband was giving her away. At the reception we went into the restaurant and the lady seating everyone told us that we were on separate tables. Hubby on top table and I was seated with five other people who I did not know and they all knew each other. I spent a lot of time staring at my plate tried to get my hubbies attention but failed. I really felt walking out and I am still so angry. I am right or wrong.

A wedding is about 2 families joining, so it is not unisual to mix people up a bit, hence tge tradition of seating the brides mother with the grooms father and vice versa

No he was in the wedding party on the top table. She wasn't.
I sat separately to my partner at his daughter's wedding, I wouldn't have expected to sit at the top table with him.
After the meal and speeches he came and sat with me.

You do realise the wedding wasn’t about you, don’t you?

Guestzilla!

OP- you come across as rude, grumpy and like you have been Very Hard Work for your husband's family for an incredibly long time.

You were the relative they had to have at the wedding rather than the one they wanted to have. Looking for reasons to be angry, and offended.

I think you have to have a bit of self reflection tbh.

This is completely normal wedding etiquette. When I was matron of honour and made a speech at a friend’s wedding I sat at top table and my boyfriend sat elsewhere. He didn’t sulk, fume and stare at his plate. He made pleasant small talk with the people at his table. I’d have been mortified by his lack of social graces otherwise.

In fact my hubby was upset about this seating arrangement as well. He did not like at all especially as it was put on us at the last minute. Also I was sat with some drunks. The sister in law ruined our wedding and when confronted just laughed. So she can put a sock in it.

How did she ruin your wedding? How long have you been married?

Dont understand why you went to the wedding in the first place when you seemed to expect it to be awful anyway.
It is not compulsory.

@JollyRoseSheep I'm sorry, but to be honest, I think you were wrong to be so angry and to still be angry ( which is what you have asked in your post).

Disappointed, I can understand, if you hadn't realised that your husband giving the bride away meant that you would be at separate tables, but so angry you nearly walked out?

You said that you spent most of the time looking at your plate, so is it possible that the people at your table thought you were being very unfriendly in the extreme and just decided to ignore you for the most part. The jibe about taking your Dad to bed was indeed rude - but what (exactly) did you say that sparked that comment? Was your anger coming across to them? It might be time for some self-reflection on how you came across?

If you came across to the folk at your table, (the way you are coming across here) as angry/sulking/complaining and not wanting to engage with them, they would feel absolutely no obligation to be nice to you since they didn't know you. That kind of situation is a 2 way street when it comes to communicating with others.

However, given how bad the relationship is between you and your SIL ( MoB) if it had been me, I would probably not have gone and let my OH go without me. But that's me!

If you still didn't know anybody at your table by the end of the meal, that is down to you - surely the point of weddings is to mix with people who know the couple in many different ways, and get to know new people?

Good grief this is all a bit over the top for just a few hours that were a teeny tiny proportion of your whole life.
Suck it up and move on, you are coming across as childish and entitled.

So you met his sister 59 years ago (she was a cow then as she is now), she ruined your wedding, presumably a couple of years later making you about 78/80 now?

You were sat on a table with drunks who think you look young enough to be your husbands daughter?! And he didn't bother to check you were ok despite being him upset at sitting with that cow.

You stared at your plate instead of trying to get on with it for nieces sake and you're pissed off that the mother of the bride wanted to go and sit with her daughter at breakfast instead of you?

Even hubby has regrets about going to this wedding. We were the only relatives invited, we should have declined but we will not entertain their rudeness again. I do not suffer idiots like most on the table.

Any thoughts on the unanimous replies to your thread?

Not unanimous - I think the OP has a point, as I posted earlier, given the obscene nature of the conversation directed at her while she was eating.

If you're over 59 (you mentioned it earlier) what does this mean?

was I taking my Dad to bed

Do you generally have a good relationship with the family?

It sounds like you personally don't like them, so I'm not sure quite what treatment you were expecting.

But your rudeness is fine aye.

@PracticallyYesterday she should not have been at the top table as she was not part of the bridal party. She despises the people who hosted her and should not have accepted the invitation.
The people at the tables behaviour is nothing to do with the despised relatives 🤷🏼‍♀️ her further posts have not painted her in a good light at all.

My husband had been best man twice, I wasn't on the top table. My uncle gave me away, my aunt wasn't on the top table. Husbands best man's wife wasn't on our top table, etc etc. it's totally normal.

So your husband agreed to give his niece away. Despite not even wanting to go to the wedding.He wasn’t happy you were sat apart. And thinks his sister is a cow.

You assumed you would be sat on the top table for now reason at all. But then, wouldn’t have been sat with this ‘cow’?

If your husband was so unhappy how come you spent all night trying to get his attention or staring at your plate. He didn’t come and talk to you between courses ? Or when you were waiting for speeches etc? If he didn’t want to be on the top table but you couldn’t catch his eye? What was his attention on?

You, your husband and sister in law must all be around 70 or older. This is ridiculous l. No idea why you assumed you would be on the top table or you assumed he wouldn’t be. Nobody mentioned it as they probably thought it was obvious.

When was this wedding?

I think the issues is that the bride and groom had the OP sitting on a table with no one she knew. The others on her table were very rude excluding her from conversation. Surely you could have been place on a table with another relative she knew?

You sound lovely