Upset and bothered.

[JollyRoseSheep]

My husband and i went to our nieces wedding and my husband was giving her away. At the reception we went into the restaurant and the lady seating everyone told us that we were on separate tables. Hubby on top table and I was seated with five other people who I did not know and they all knew each other. I spent a lot of time staring at my plate tried to get my hubbies attention but failed. I really felt walking out and I am still so angry. I am right or wrong.

Oh you’re one of those.

Lots of people have relatives they don't particularly get on with but need to coexist with at things like weddings. It doesn't need to be a big drama and you don't need to be surgically attached to your significant other to survive. It's a short period of time, after which you can moan about them, safe in the knowledge that's one less obligatory event crossed off the list of weddings and funerals that need attended.

If your husband was giving the bride away, of course he was going to be sitting at the top table. That doesn't mean you would be. It sounds like there's a lot of negativity between you and those relatives anyway, so why would you assume they would arrange a seat for you, as a person with whom they don't have a particularly positive relationship and who is not actually in the wedding party, at the top table?

If you didn't like sitting with the people at your table, you could have moved once it became socially appropriate to do so. I've been the only sober person at a table of strangers before and it can be annoying. Being seated at a table for a meal doesn't mean you have to stay with those people for the whole event.

I think you've over-reacted and made this more about you and your relationships with people than it actually was. This day wasn't about you.

I think you totally overreacted and that you went to this wedding determined not to enjoy it. It was sad for the bride that she didn't have her own father to give her away, and an honour for your DH that she asked him to do it. She must have a fair degree of fondness for him.

At your age you must have known you wouldn't be sitting at top table! I've been to plenty of weddings where I didn't know the other people around the table with me, but I have been able to chat to them and even have a good time!!

I don't have a close relationship at all with my SIL, and in fact, she didn't even invite me to her own wedding, in spite of insisting on being a bridesmaid at my wedding, DH and I having been married for upwards of 30 years at the time, and only invited my DH. She also took zero interest in our children, her only close blood relatives other than my husband and her son. I could still 'pass myself' if forced to be in her company.

In fact, I went to my DH's BFF's wedding last year, didn't know a sinner other than the groom! I chatted with many of the groom's family members, and they were all lovely - in spite of being apprehensive, I had a great day!

You're wrong! Just be glad it's over!!

Is this real? It reads like it is written by a 12 year old.

The "silent treatment" is a ridiculous way to deal with the situation. It's just sulking.
Take a deep breath and move on, for your sake and everyone else's.

I wonder why he avoided eye contact for the duration🤔.

My uncle gave me away and was on top table.My auntie was absolutely fine sitting with people she had been introduced to.

I don't - I think it's obvious.

I hate to break it to you, but I very much doubt anyone has noticed you giving the silent treatment. 🤣🤣

They almost certainly don't care. I wouldn't.🤷

You sound delightful calling people cows and piss heads and giving people the silent treatment. You sound like a child

From your posts I assume you are close in age to your husband and would have been to a few weddings in your time. From that surely you would have assumed that your DH would likely sit at the top table if he was giving the bride away?

YABU not to have queried where you would be sitting before the day of the wedding and YABVU for having the attitude that you have

I expect they are very glad to receive the silent treatment

The OP is not doing herself any favours here, is she?
The only point i can add is that it’s fairly poor behaviour by the bride and her family to seat an elderly relative with people who are strangers to her but who know each other well so that she was a complete outsider from the start.
It sounds as if the OP is not exactly a ‘people person’ either and they probably knew that too.
Families, eh!

This is why we didn’t have a top table at our wedding.

The people at your table sound very rude and odd. I am sorry that you had such a horrible experience.

The top table is only for the wedding party.

My Matron of Honour sat at the top table; her husband and children sat at another table.

This

She has already said this was the issue. I can imagine it was pretty bloody awful for her. I'm a lot older now and more outgoing but when I was younger I would have been mortified sitting there eating with no one bothering to include me or make me feel welcome there.
Not everyone is a social butterfly.

We only have the OP's word for it that the other people on her table were awful. For all we know they may have been delightful people who were wondering why they had a woman at their table who behaved like a spoilt child and was unable to make polite conversation.

YANBU unless there is a massive backstory where you’ve been awful to the people who were getting married for some reason, although then they probably just shouldn’t have invited you.

People generally have the most fun and feel most comfortable at a social event when they are seated with people they know and like, obviously.

I presume most people like the people they’ve invited to their wedding and if guests have made an effort to attend surely when designing the seating plan you consider not only what works for yourself but also the guests in attendance? Seems bizarre not to seat with a partner unless you are certain there are plenty of other people at the table who they know and will enjoy spending a significant chunk of time with.

I’ve been to multiple weddings where my husband or I have been in the wedding party and we’ve always been seated together. At our own wedding the dates/partners of our own wedding party were also seated at the top table. I’m flabbergasted so many people think this is okay.

"I was seated with five other people who I did not know and they all knew each other."

I’ve RTFT and OP you have a complete lack of insight into your own personality and how you come across. I wish you could look in a mirror. 🪞 You are one of those people in life with horrible negative energy, miserable, defensive, bitter, spiteful. But the most irritating thing about people like you is a complete refusal to look at your own behaviour and outlook. I’m not surprised people avoid you, I’m not surprised your DH avoided your eye contact. You are deeply unpleasant , passive aggressive and have clearly spent your life in a shroud of negativity. It’s never too late to receive a wake up call and to question your own attitudes and gain a bit of self awareness you know and change your outlook. Change your attitude, you’ll make yourself happier as a result. Life’s too short to be so bitter rude and moody.

Why on earth would you have been on the top table? Also was not your wedding you are an adult so talk to people you don't need a baby sitter

And yes this is harsh

What a harsh reply!

I personally think it was extremely rude to not sit you with your DH @JollyRoseSheep . You will get over it though and move on. 💐

Tradition dictates he would be at the top table, but they should have put more thought into where they seated you so you were with family/people you know. Weddings can be a bit hit and miss, especially if there’s allocated seating. I would try not to get too upset about it. It’s just one of those things.

I’d have really struggled in your position OP, being seated away from my DH, in a room full of people that I didn’t know. Having said that, it sounds as if you don’t like the people involved, and could have just made an excuse and gone to your room - (as you were staying there anyway) and just let the party go on without you. I’d have been far happier chilling in my room, on my own. Tbh, I’d have stayed home, or excused myself in the first place.

the last wedding I went to, I attended as MOH and as such sat at the top table. My husband and two kids were at the table across from me so we could wink at each other but not talk. He was with a right bunch tbh, not people like him at all, but we were there to do a job and support our friend rather than anything else so we got on, made good and had some stories to share afterwards.